To create a positive self image you first need to know what a self image is and how it affects your social anxiety. And, you also have to figure out what your current self image looks like.
To do so, go here: How A Negative Self Image Influences Your Social Anxiety
Years back I found out that if my internal picture of myself wouldn’t change, my social anxiety would not change either. I started to work on creating a more positive self image. One of a socially confident person.
After a few weeks of changing my internal picture I noticed that my anxiety level had dropped significantly. Not only that, I felt more confident and could slowly but surely start to look myself in the eye when looking in a mirror. A thing that I had not been able to do so for a long timefv
In this article I explain to you the process to creating a positive self image. After this I provide 8 practical steps to start changing your internal picture immediately.
The Changing Process To A Positive Self Image:
Once you have developed a truly positive self-image, you project this out to other people.
They pick it up and start to treat you differently. People behave as you see yourself. So when you see yourself as socially confident, people start to treat you in such a way.
“The self-image is the key to human personality and human behavior. Change the self image and you change the personality and the behavior.”
Maxwell Maltz
And also, just having an internal picture of a socially confident you will start to lead you to being socially confident.
It’s a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Here’s how it works:
- You have a positive self image (a socially confident one)
- This gives you a positive attitude
- Because of this attitude you have positive expectations (you expect social interactions to go smoothly)
- Due to your positive expectations you behave confident and get positive responses and enjoyable interactions (positive expectations come true )
- Your positive self image gets reinforced
How To Develop A Positive Self Image
There are a lot of ways to develop a positive self image. I have listed them in order.
- Complete acceptance This first step is essential. You need complete self acceptance, acceptance of your current situation and acceptance of the past.
Read here how to do this: Self Acceptance To Solve Social Anxiety - Find and change irrational beliefs
Growing up you get all sorts of beliefs from authority figures. These beliefs are now unconsciously running your life. Some of them helpful, others very damaging.To find the ones that are holding you back from having a positive self image ask yourself this question:What do I not like about myself?The answers to this question are your negative beliefs you have about yourself.
Once you have found these, you can change them by using the following process:
“The person we believe ourselves to be will always act in a manner consistent with our self-image.”
Brain Tracey
- Recall past successesAs the quote states above, you always act in a manner consistent with your self image. When you have a negative self image you tend to not notice or forget when you are successful.Since you want to develop a positive self image, start recalling as many successes as you can remember. Specifically try to recall situations where you were socially confident. Go as far back in your life as you have to. The tiniest bit of evidence of you being socially confident will help.
But also think back over your whole life and recall non-socially related successes. You want to feel good about yourself in general so remember as many things as you can. Compliments you got, things you achieved, people that liked you, things you did well etc.
Make a journal and keep adding things. And read over your list every week.
- List the things you like about yourself
This exercise is a lot like the one above. List anything and everything you like about yourself. Things about your personality, your appearance, your skills etc.This can be anything. Maybe you are a good listener. Maybe you can cook very well. Maybe you are really good at playing a computer game.
List everything you can think of and keep adding to your list. And reread your list every week. - Stop comparing yourself to othersYou are unique. You have won the race from millions of sperm cells, there is no one else like you! So appreciate that you are unique and don’t compare yourself to others.Society gives us all these imprints about how we should live up to society’s expectations. Earn a lot, look good, be popular. And because of this social conditioning we receive from the media, we compare our current level of “earn a lot, look good, be popular” to other people.
This is a sad way to live your life. Instead choose your own path in life, your own personality. And follow your own path, only comparing yourself to…
You got it, just to yourself.
- Accept criticism
Take criticism as feedback. And use it if it is valuable, discard it if it’s not.
Read: Calmly Dealing With Criticism - Fix yourself up
Help yourself by looking good! Have good grooming, nice clothes, a good hairstyle etc. Go to the gym and work out. All these things generate good emotions. These good emotions help you to feel good about yourself and so enhance your positive self image. - Use affirmations and afformations
Speed up the process of installing your new empowering beliefs. These tools will do just that and help you create your positive self image faster.
Creating a healthy self image can seem like a lot of work. And, in the beginning it kind of is. You need to completely change that internal picture you have of yourself.
Since you have been dragging that negative self image with you for so long, you need some persistence and hard work to change it.
But, once you change it, the results will amaze you. Put in the work, you’re worth it.
If you want to completely overcome your social anxiety disorder, getting coached by me personally (from the comfort of your own home and the ease of sitting behind your PC) have a look at the specifics of my 1 on 1 Skype coaching package Social Anxiety Coaching
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