Systematically overcome social anxiety disorder. Techniques, tools, strategies, 1 on 1 coaching, and the Social Confidence System to become anxiety -free, feel confident about yourself, and relaxed and at ease around others.
And as you keep reading you’ll discover exactly how.
Lets begin by having a look at the following flawed generalization:
“facing your fears is the only way to overcome your social anxiety”
Now – I’m not saying you shouldn’t face your fears.
To the contrary…
You should face your fears to be able to live a life of freedom and joy.
But FORCEFULLY facing your fears doesn’t work for everyone.
Plus, forcefully facing your fears may make your anxiety WORSE, not better.
There is a far more effective technique that I used to beat my own social anxiety.
For the last 4 years, I’ve helped my clients use this simple technique to overcome their social anxiety and start living the confident, liberated life they’ve been dreaming of.
Because forcefully facing my fears definitely didn’t work for me.
Nor did it work for them.
I personally faced my fears.
I pushed through massive anxiety.
I dealt with prolonged awkwardness, embarrassment and discomfort.
But the confidence I got after doing it was ONLY TEMPORARY.
And sometimes, I found it made my social anxiety worse.
I did the most extreme things… (I’ll tell you more about those in a moment)
I started facing my fears somewhere before the summer of 2004.
I had discovered something profound through a self-help program. It gave me perspective on my situation.
I found out why I was suffering.
And… that there was a way out of the misery.
But there was one problem – part of the solution was “facing your fears”.
And I was terrified to do that.
The things I feared most back then was becoming embarrassed.
Or looking “weak”, “uncool” or “un-confident”.
But even though I was terrified, I was willing to do whatever it would take.
Life was simply too depressing.I was deeply ashamed of myself.
Thought of myself as the biggest loser out there.
And I desperately wanted to prove myself not to be a loser.
I didn’t feel confident around others at all.
In social situations it felt like people wanted me to look bad. That they wanted me to look foolish and become embarrassed. And that was one of my biggest fears.
I couldn’t connect with people.
I was so anxious in most conversations that it was near impossible to actually listen to what someone was saying. Sometimes my heart was beating so loud, or I felt so insecure and anxious, that I just knew they could see it. And it made cringe.
I was constantly monitoring how I came across, worrying about how they perceived me, busy with thinking of what the was the right thing to answer.
Socializing was incredibly hard.
Especially with guys I thought were “cool” or girls I was attracted to.
When I went to an event that I couldn’t get out of (a birthday party, work outing, going out after many cancellations and excuses) I’d come home exhausted. Trying to control the way I came across, making people believe I was fine, took a lot out of me. It drained me.
So because they weren’t enjoyable, but painful, I naturally started to avoid most difficult social situations.
And then when NOT in a social situation there was my mind constantly troubling me. I was constantly worrying about my “reputation”. Doom-thinking about the future. Criticizing and judging myself (and others), and making up worst case scenarios (and then fearing it would happen).
This nonsense was constantly occupying my mind.
And I couldn’t stop it.
My mind wouldn’t leave me alone.
I woke up anxious, and went to bed anxious (unless I was drunk)…
So I had sworn to myself I’d keep going until I had complete confidence in all social situations.
Because the program said it could be done. It made sense to me.
But I had to face my fears.
So that meant getting rejected.
That meant talking to girls.
That meant becoming embarrassed.
And looking foolish…
And I actually did it.
But did it really solve my social anxiety?
And it taught various techniques on starting conversations with women.
That was fascinating at the time.
As a side note, I’m by no means a pick up artist, or dating coach.
See, confidence is an inside job.
It doesn’t come from being good at acting a certain way.
Or being good at rehearsing stories or clever jokes. Or even from being super social.
True social confidence is EFFORTLESS.
And the step-by-step approach to social confidence I teach works.
For male or female.
No matter how bad your social anxiety is or how long you have suffered.
It comes from total acceptance.
From feeling safe to be yourself.
From being “natural”.
I teach people how to get (back) to that place.
Anyway – the program taught me something profound…
… it was a massive light-bulb moment at the time.
It taught me that the reason for my anxiety was my negative limiting beliefs.
Now – a belief is nothing more than a thought that feels real.
Some examples of negative limiting beliefs:
And some positive, supportive beliefs:
Now -, having positive beliefs makes you feel a lot more confident socially than negative limiting beliefs (obviously).
But there’s more to understanding how to become anxiety-free.
I’ll get to that later.
In the self-help program I mentioned earlier, I was instructed to uncover my negative limiting beliefs.
To choose new positive supportive beliefs.
To program my mind to believe them.
And then to go face my fears and find evidence to support those positive beliefs.
Easier said than done, right?
See – the techniques to program my mind didn’t really work for me.
It was a combination of affirmations, change your thoughts, visualization, goal setting, journaling, hypnosis and some Neuro-Linguistic Programming.
Powerful techniques, but they had little impact on me.
Later, I found a technique which puts those technique on steroids (but we’ll get to that a minute).
Anyway, I did what I could with the resources I had.
At the time, I made a decision to do it.
even if it took 10 years.
So off I went.. to face my fears.
I was afraid of getting rejected.
I was afraid of becoming embarrassed.
I was afraid of them seeing right through me… that I was an imposter.
And more than that, I feared that OTHERS WOULD SEE IT!
I was a virgin. I felt like a boy, not like a man.
I faked my confidence.
And I feared getting rejected by girls more than anything.
I feared that everyone would find out what a loser I was with women.
And that deep down I was actually this insecure guy.
Since that was my biggest fear I decided to focus on conquering that one.
But talking to girls was inconceivably painful and scary to me.
My first few drunk attempts in a club gave me the usual painful rejections.
I tried what I learned in the dating programs with minimal success.
Actually, minimal success is exaggerating.
“Total failure” would be more accurate.
I got myself into awkward situations.
Got laughed at.
Had people pitty me…
Got a head turn when trying to kiss a girl I thought liked me.
And more awfulness.
Even though I was drunk, it still sucked big time.
Apparently you need confidence to be successful.
And liquid confidence turns out not to be all that attractive to women.
Eventually, I decided to hire a dating coach.
Because what they promised sounded brilliant.
I’d be a superstar after a weekend of talking to girls.
So I paid a ton of money to fly over to this “guru”.
He was going to help me talk to girls.
Probably one of the most awkward and uncomfortable weekends of my life.
I started with saying hi to strangers. No problem.
Next, I said hi and asked for directions. No problem.
Then, Hi and introducing myself.
And then we stepped it up a notch…
“Who lies more, men or women?”
This would start a conversation, and I would then have to continue talking.
Make jokes he told me I should use.
Since I was so awkward and anxious, I was totally in my head.
I feared I’d run out of things to say.
I feared the girl must think I was the biggest loser.
Or that people surrounding us must believe I was such a pathetic weirdo. And so on.
But I kept with it.
That first day I walked up -or was pushed into- maybe 25 girls and groups of girls.
Constantly the same routine way of going about it.
I felt a lot more confident at the end of the day.
Next day we would do this again…
I didn’t sleep that night.
I was so dead scared of the next day.
And when the second day came, I was so afraid and awkward that I couldn’t do it.
Instead I got advice on how to talk to girls while traveling.
Because I was going on a 3 month backpacking trip.
To “get outside my comfort zone”.
Long story short – I felt a lot more confident after that weekend.
But unfortunately, most of my new confidence soon left me.
For the next 3 years, I continued facing my fears.
I did a lot of weird stuff during that time.
I was told I could get “rejection-proof” if I’d get myself purposely rejected.
So I walked up to 20 different girls, or groups of girls in Amsterdam.
I said: “Hey, you like me. Give me your number.”
I was horrified doing it.
This actually deserves a whole story, as it’s a funny story and what I learned was profound.
But lets keep it short for now.
Basically, the first 10 times were massively painful and embarrassing.
After the 15th or so, I stopped caring as much.
After the 20th, I felt like THE MAN.
On top of the world!
But then 3 days later I lost all my painfully gained new confidence again.
I also did the thing I feared most: Embarrassing myself.
I put the brightest red lipstick on my lips and in circles around my eyes.
I looked like a total weirdo.
I then went to the city center and forced myself to start conversations with people.
I pretended there was nothing weird going on when they would ask me what’s up.
It was beyond awkward.
When they would say “what’s up with your face”, I’d ignore it.
I was mocked.
Made fun off.
The first 30-45 min sucked. Big time.
The last 15 min sucked a lot less.
At the end, I hardly cared. I felt pretty confident.
And a week later, I was almost back to square one.
My new confidence was gone again.
So I did face my fears…
…but it didn’t work.
Or at least, it didn’t work as well as I had hoped.
It took way too much time and energy to maintain.
So I went back to feeling insecure ad awkward.
Every time I made plans to consistently face my fears, I came up with excuses.
I self-sabotaged. As we all do when we try to overcome our anxiety.
Because we’re anxious for good reasons.
I talk more about self-sabotage later down this page. Because there is a powerful solution to it.
Anyway, in 5 years of facing my fears, doing affirmations until I was blue in the face,
hypnosis, time-line therapy, changing my thoughts, journaling, NLP, and anything
self-help I could get my hands on, I made mediocre progress.
Sometimes it felt like I was going backwards.
I still had massive anxiety.
And then in early 2006 I stumbled onto this technique that changed everything.
I first saw it demonstrated on a youtube video.
And I thought it was complete nonsense.
It was a technique to rapidly release negative emotions.
It looked plain weird.
I was convinced it was some sort of a scam.
So I ignored it.
But a few weeks later I came back to it.
Because I was desperate.
Because I hoped with all my heart it was true.
I checked out the video again.
And the guy in the video demonstrating it was just sharing it for free.
Still, I was skeptical.
I Googled it to see if it was a scam.
What I found was thousands of testimonials.
People claimed it worked where nothing else had worked.
That they resolved their long-standing anxiety issues with it.
There were hundreds of videos on youtube.
I then checked out online forums.
People were raving about it.
This was way too big (and popular) to be a clever scam.
I decided to try the technique out for myself.
I studied the basics (which are very simple and straightforward to learn,
but are only a small piece of the puzzle) and I tried it.
It didn’t work…
But I had seen so many testimonials and raving reviews that I was convinced
it had to work for me too.
I was determined to MAKE IT WORK.
I know now from successfully using it with my coaching clients for so long…
… that the right way of applying this technique is quite a bit different when dealing with anxiety.
I studied some more.
I devoured all the information I could find online for months.
I figured out what I may be doing incorrectly.
I studied all the troubleshooting.
And then I tried again.
And still no luck.
I then studied even more.
Read on forums.
Asked for advice, everything.
Nothing made it work for me.
But I persisted because I felt it was my last resort.
Because I had tried all those other techniques and therapies already.
And only got minimal results.
I eventually I went to a live workshop.
If this technique really worked, then it had to work here.
When it was time to practice in triads (one practitioner, one “client” and one observer) everyone got results.
So we called in the workshop leader.
And he started doing this technique with me.
He asked me some painful questions.
He eventually had me talk about how I didn’t have a girlfriend.
How I did not have sex for a long time.
All of this in front of the other people.
I felt extremely embarrassed and ashamed.
As I was feeling this, he instructed me to apply the technique.
As I was talking and applying the technique at the same time, a strange thing happened.
I felt a shift inside of myself.
I FELT something changing inside.
It’s difficult to describe what actually happened.
Or how it felt.
But the best way I can describe it, is that a drain that was plugged got pulled.
And the negative emotion flushed away.
I literally felt the shame and embarrassment dissolving.
In place for that came a relaxing, peaceful feeling.
After just a few minutes I could talk about it without any shame or embarrassment.
I couldn’t even bring the embarrassment and shame back.
No matter how hard I tried.
I could hardly believe it.
I had come to a place of acceptance.
Now I wish I could tell you that this was the end of my social anxiety disorder.
But this was not really the case.
After this initial shift, it was a long journey with a lot of effort, persistence and a ton of money (borrowed from my mom who got a second mortgage on her house for me).
I worked with 8 different top-level practitioners of the technique.
It took a lot to clear my social anxiety disorder.
It turned out I was quite a “tough case”.
And people with social anxiety disorder all fall in that category.
I tell you why in a second.
And I’ll also tell you what this technique is.
I’ll go into the depth of what I learned in the past 6 years as you keep reading.
See, the basics of this technique only get you so far.
If you only learn the basics, you might get 10% of the whole deal.
And that’s a shame, because by applying it in the right way you can fully overcome your social anxiety disorder.
When I first learned about it and I heard there were whole workshops to learn it, I emailed them to ask why.
Because a 10 year old can learn the basics in 5 minutes.
Well, it turned out the technique is only part of the game.
It’s like only having a hammer when you are building a house.
Obviously, you need a blueprint. And bricks. And cement. Wood. Nails. And so on.
In a similar way, there is a way of applying this technique in the right way to overcome social anxiety disorder.
There are a few essential distinctions you need to address in order to get permanent results.
I say this because people with anxiety who learn about and don’t get instant results often give up on it.
They toss it away as “yet another thing that doesn’t work for ME”.
They believe that it’s a placebo (It’s not. It works even on skeptics).
Or a distraction technique (Nope, you actually need to focus on your problem).
Or a relaxation technique (True, when you don’t apply it in the right way).
Which is why I want to teach you what you need to know.
There is right way of going about it.
I’ve dedicated the last 6 years of my life to mastering it.
I went deep.
I faced all my fears using this technique.
That is, I faced them INTERNALLY.
I didn’t have to force myself to do the thing I feared.
I no longer had to sit through the awkwardness.
That’s the beauty of it: You face your fears internally.
And you get rid of them.
And then once the fear is gone you face the social situation you USED TO FEAR.
And you comfortably broaden your comfort zone.
And raise your confidence.
When done in the right way, the results are permanent.
I call it a Non-Scary Exposure. More on this later.
There’s a lot more to discover before we get to that point.
Because it’s not as easy as “think about what you fear and apply the technique”.
I worked with many of the best practitioners in the world.
I switched coaches so many times because a social anxiety disorder was not something any of them had any experience with.
Which is why I made a profession out of it once I overcame my own social anxiety disorder (SAD).
I progressed and got more and more confident after each session, but it took me a long time to become anxiety-free.
That’s another outdated understanding that’s out there:
“You will always be dealing with anxiety. You can only manage it”
Thanks to the technique I’ll share in a moment, I’ve been anxiety-free for years and many of my clients are at that place too.
It’s not an overnight transformation.
Not at all.
This is not a magic trick. It’s not a quick-fix.
However, it’s not hard.
And overnight progress is common.
Massive progress within weeks.
And with persistence, applying the technique in the right way, you can become completely anxiety-free.
I’ve been completely immersed in the study of social anxiety and the solutions to it for over a decade.
I went deep.
I’ve spotted common patterns in clients.
Strategies that work consistently.
And essential steps to take in order to overcome anxiety permanently.
I’ll be presenting this to you step-by-step, so you understand it properly.
A key part that is the beginning of this structure is essential to achieve permanent social confidence.
You will understand why once you read it in the PDF below (click on the image to open the PDF) :
I will tell you exactly how to do this.
I will show you how to break the journey from social anxiety to social confidence down into small, easy steps.
There is a structure for how social anxiety disorder fits together.
There is also a structure for social confidence.
And there is a roadmap to get from A to B.
This roadmap is broken down into small, easily manageable steps.
So overcoming your social anxiety is a matter of taking one continuing to take one step forward using the technique in the right way. I will demonstrate this to you visually, with clear graphics and explanations.
You will see how to free yourself. You will understand how to break out of the prison of your social anxiety.
You’ll get a feel for how to become completely anxiety-free and enjoy effortless confidence socially.
See- I might not know you personally, but I am committed to helping you.
I know the pain you suffer every day because I was there myself.
Since then I have learned and mastered powerful solutions to overcome this suffering.
And without awkwardly facing your fears.
The best way I can help you is 1 on 1 coaching (more details later).
But those spots are limited as I only work with 2 clients a day, 5 days a week.
The second best way I can help you is using my online step-by-step system to eliminate social anxiety.
That’s you helping yourself by following the visual guidance (videos) and step-by-step instructions.
It’s like me having coaching sessions with you.
It’s a 9-step system where in each step I start with an explanation about why this step is important and how it will help you make progress. Then I guide you via an article to uncover your unique issues.
And then via audios and subtitled videos I’ll show you how to apply the technique to overcome the uncovered issues.
You simply follow my lead, you cannot do it wrong.
It’s a proven to work way to permanently overcome your social anxiety.
It will help you break down the walls of your social anxiety dungeon one easy step at a time.
But I’m not selling it here yet.
This is no sales page.
That’s because it’s not for everyone.
There are plenty of slick marketers out there that can come up with a good story and get your emotions going for long enough that you make a purchase.
I don’t just want you to just make a purchase.
I want you to get the results you’re looking for.
And then some. And for that, you need the proper education first.
I want you to have gathered enough world class information to make a well-informed, intelligent decision.
And a sales page doesn’t allow me to give that to you.
Not in the least.
My online system is just for people that are motivated enough to put in the work.
Now it’s NOT difficult.
It’s also not hard or painful.
But it’s not a magic pill.
If you’re looking for a magic pill, best of luck to you.
You won’t find any magic bullets here (or anywhere).
There’s no such thing.
You have to be willing to put in the effort.
For example, you’ll need to put in 30 minutes a day for at least a month.
Ideally, you’ll do it for 90 days.
Once you start using it, you’ll immediately feel it working.
Within one week, most people start seeing results.
Some people experience results faster.
The results are permanent.
And with persistence you can get yourself to a place of being anxiety-free with it.
And since I know that sounds way too good to be true, I only offer it to people that are properly educated about the value of it.
I don’t want you to just “try it”.
I want you to know the value of it first.
I want you to be excited and eager to get the program and systematically start eliminating the building blocks of your social anxiety dungeon.
You see, I started this website in 2008.
I had experienced such an increased amount of freedom, confidence and connection that I knew I had something of incredible value to offer if I was able to teach this to others in a way that they would understand.
I’ve since made it my mission and exclusive focus to create a step-by-step solution for others.
I’ve dedicated myself to offer the best techniques, strategies and resources to people suffering from social anxiety (disorder).
My program is the result of over thousands of hours of being coached by the best Master practitioners/therapists of this technique, doing workshops, thousands of hours of study and over 4 years of me coaching social phobics.
It’s continuously revised and improved based upon feedback from users.
It’s the 8th version of the online program and when you put in the work (and a whole section of it is focused on overcoming resistance and overcoming procrastination, making sure you stick with it) you will get the results.
But me saying that is just empty words on a screen.
So keep reading and I’ll demonstrate that this is for real.
The information I share will help you gain insight into why you are stuck.
It will provide you with a roadmap to get un-stuck. It’ll give you the step-by-step blueprint for social confidence.
Being socially anxious was unacceptable for me.
And I’m sure it is for you too.
It’s not a way to live.
But the resources that are out there to overcome it are limited at best.
The ones that are good, I’ve put on steroids by combining them with the technique.
You don’t have to be socially anxious for the rest of your life.
You don’t need to face your fears being dead scared.
You don’t have to force yourself through the awkwardness.
There are far more effective and efficient approaches (which I will tell you about)
And with persistence, you can be completely anxiety-free.
And it doesn’t have to be hard or take years of therapy.
So what I have to offer is an education on exactly HOW you will be able to overcome your social anxiety (disorder) step-by-step.
It will rock your world and will help you see that what’s going on with you is not only common, but completely solveable.
And yet, it will only be the tip of the iceberg.
The other 90% you will find in the online program.
I do this because I expect that the free information I will be sending you in my emails will wow and impresses you so much, that you know that I’m for real.
That my online DIY system is the real deal.
And more importantly, that you will finally have the solution to your social anxiety.
I want you to get to a place of effortless social confidence.
EFFORTLESS, that is the standard.
Since that is a huge standard, which probably sounds too good to be true to you from where you are now, take me up on the challenge of teaching you how you will get there.
Sign up below and I will be telling you stories about clients I worked with in a way that you can relate to.
You will learn that your challenges are Universal.
And the solutions to it similar.
That’s why I created my online program.
Things worked with clients consistently.
And from that I developed the structure of and the roadmap to social confidence.
Which you are guided through in the online program.
I teach this in the emails I’ll send you once you sign up.
I share what worked for me.
I explain in more detail why you are anxious.
How you can overcome it.
Why this will work for you.
How to overcome resistance.
How to persist and make it easy.
I share the most powerful approaches to become permanently anxiety-free.
And a whole bunch of more essential information that helps you finally make progress where all else may have failed.
And then at some point, when you feel ready, you can get my system.
Sign up below when you’re ready to get started on the rewarding journey to social confidence.