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Overcome Your Social Anxiety
From The Comfort Of Your Home
Sebastiaan’s time for private 1 on 1 sessions is limited to a select few VIP clients per year. For details, see below.
“Sebastiaan has stopped his regular full time coaching practice in 2020 in order to focus on coaching our large group of members inside the Social Confidence Club.
He is currently creating ‘Social Confidence Practitioners’.
If you want to be waitlisted to be notified when these world class practitioners are ready, you can proceed by submitting your intro chat form (scroll further down this page).
It’s possible to work with Seb by volunteering to do a 1 on 1 session in front of the group
(This is only possible if you are a member of the SC Club, which opens each February only).
This is available on a first come first serve basis.
What if you don’t have to force yourself to face your fears?
And you don't have to be in therapy for years with only little results?
Imagine a relatively painless, effective approach to overcome your social anxiety…
Via online Skype coaching I’ll coach you while you sit behind your PC in the comfort of your own home.
During our coaching sessions we eliminate the negative emotions (shame, fears, anxieties, embarrassment, etc.) that are keeping you stuck. Together we get rid of your limiting beliefs so you can
feel safe socially.
Social Confidence Coach
I’ve suffered from social anxiety for nearly a decade before I stumbled unto possible solutions. That’s over 20 years ago now. I’ve since dedicated my life to resolving my own social anxiety, and helping others do the same. Thankfully, I’ve now been social anxiety free for years. And I’ve been coaching socially anxious clients full time since October 2009.
I combine Modern psychology with the new and emerging field of Energy psychology, allowing people to overcome social anxiety much faster, with less stress. And, using this combined approach, you can become completely anxiety-free.
Has overcome his own social anxiety
Has worked with hundreds of socially anxious clients, logging >5000 coaching hours
Here's what former clients say:
My social anxiety is no longer controlling my life”
After my 3 sessions with Sebastiaan I've noticed marked differences in how I felt during social situations, I felt more at ease and able to contribute to conversations and really enjoy myself without having to worry about what others thought of me.Even though I still feel anxiety at times, I believe it is no more than a normal person would feel, and it does not affect me in a negative way.
My social anxiety is no longer controlling my life, and I am so grateful for that!
I've been good. In fact I've had tremendous improvement on my social anxiety since our second session. I can't say it's completely gone but I have had major improvements and it doesn’t even cross my mind anymore most of the time. I will book a session soon for our last session.
Schedule your Free 20 Min Intro-Chat
Let's connect and see how I might be able to help you overcome your anxiety?
Here's how to set this up, and what to expect during the chat:
1. If you haven’t already, make sure you completely read everything on this page that you're on:
Here I explain what my process of coaching is like. You’ll find the 11 questions that frequently get asked along with my answers to them. You’ll also find (video) testimonials of my former clients who overcame their social anxiety.
Checking out this whole page gives you a good idea of the coaching process, and already answers questions you might have.
2. Complete the intro-chat client form by clicking on 'Apply' below.
The client form gives me insight into your unique situation, and helps me to assist you in the best possible way once we have our intro chat
3. Schedule your intro chat
Within 24 hours of filling out your information on the client form, and clicking submit, you will receive a reply from my friendly assistant about next steps to schedule your intro chat!
My assistant will help you with setting everything up so our intro chat runs smoothly. You will also receive a resource to check out as it provides you with the link to my online scheduler. You can then schedule our chat at a time convenient for you.
4. We meet for our intro chat.
You can share your social anxiety situation. After I've heard your story, I'll break down how I can help you feel socially comfortable and at ease. And, you can ask me anything you like.
To get started right now, click on the ‘Apply’ button below.
Benefits of Social Confidence Coaching
- Rapid results. No years of seeing a therapist. Feel relief after the first coaching session. Notice your social anxiety reduce in just a few weeks.
- Relatively painless. No endless talking about your past. No painful reliving of trauma. Using Energy psychology techniques (like "EFT" Emotional Freedom Techniques") you quickly stop reliving the pain of your past.
- No awkward facing of your fears. Using EFT you face your fears internally. We get to the roots of your fears and eliminate them. Now you face what you used to fear with confidence.
NOT For You When...
- You suffer from severe depression.
- You are suicidal.
- You have a history of sexual abuse.
- You suffer from multiple personality disorder.
Note: You can be helped for any of the above. However, I specialise in social anxiety alone. If you have mild depression resulting from social anxiety, I can likely help you. But when any of the other above-mentioned describe your issue, I recommend contacting your mental health care provider for assistance. There are many EFT-experts available who are also qualified therapists. Find one who has experience successfully helping people overcome what you're dealing with. When in doubt, reach out for an intro-chat and we'll discuss what your best option would be.
Frequently Asked Questions
Will it be hard or painful?
No, because this is not your typical therapy.
There is no endless talking about your problems. No reliving of painful trauma. And no forcing to awkwardly face your fears…
… just effective steps to deal with the CORE of your social anxiety.
Instead of fighting the symptoms,
we address the causes of your SA.
You are tuning in to negative emotions and memories from the past...
But, you're not reliving them.
The emotional upset you experience is short-lived. You feel relief in minutes.
With EFT we're getting rid of your social anxiety gently and efficiently.
You're making powerful emotional changes, feeling safe and supported.
Do I have to face my fears?
Awkward exposures are not necessary.
This is not CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) where you push yourself to face your fears.
Instead, we get to the bottom of why you experience such excessive fear.
Don't you ever wonder why you fear rejection or embarrassment more than others?
There are reasons for this (hint: it's in your past experiences)
During our sessions we discover the root causes of your fear. And with EFT we get rid of them.
Now you confidently face the situation you used to fear.
Will I look foolish?
EFT involves you tapping on certain acupressure points on your face and body.
During our coaching sessions I will instruct you where to tap, and what to say.
You'll be copying me. You tap where I tap, and you repeat what I say.
Yes, that looks a bit silly at first. But, you won't need to do that in public.
I will teach you some tricks to use the tapping in public without other people noticing it.
So aside from tapping inside the privacy of your own home, no you won't look foolish.
In fact, nobody has to know that you're getting rid of your social anxiety, as you're doing the tapping from the comfort of your own home.
Will this really work for ME?
When you have tried a lot of things and nothing has worked...
it's common to start to feel hopeless you will ever overcome your problem.
But this kind of coaching is nothing like you have tried before. This is an entirely different approach.
Let’s look at some logic and reason.
You’re not born anxious. Which means you learned how to become anxious.
From painful experiences in your past you created negative limiting beliefs.
These beliefs cause your brain to perceive danger in social situations.
This perception of danger activates the fight, flight, freeze response.
This results in anxiety. The animated video I created explains this quite well:
I will help you find the experiences that led to your social anxiety. With EFT we then neutralise these, and in doing so get rid of the limiting beliefs.
Once we’ve changed the core beliefs responsible for your mind perceiving danger…
… the built-in response to danger (fight, flight, or freeze response) won’t get activated.
And your anxiety will be gone.
What is EFT? Is it a placebo?
EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques and is part of a powerful new field called Energy Psychology (EP).
EP combines established Western approaches to therapy, such as exposure therapy (a researched and established Western approach to treatment) with non-Western, holistic techniques of healing and spiritual development.
EFT is an unusual looking tapping technique that combines ancient Chinese acupressure with modern psychology to quickly shift the brain’s neural pathways.
EFT has been proven to be effective and can help you process trauma, release negative emotions (shame, hurt, fear, anxiety, guilt, etc) and change negative limiting beliefs often much faster than conventional therapy can.
EFT is not a placebo. You don't have to believe in it for it to work.
EFT is also not a distraction technique. To the contrary, when you use EFT you specifically focus on the problem while you stimulate certain acupressure points on the face and body.
While it's a relatively new approach (about 20 years old) it's beginning to become mainstream.
EFT was featured on the Dr Oz show, the Huffington post, Psychology today, etc.
Personal development experts like Tony Robbins and Wayne Dyer recommend it.
The techniques of EP have provided me with invaluable tools for working with trauma. No therapist can afford to remain ignorant of this new and exciting field.
Author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
EFT is being used by millions of people worldwide, and leading voices in the psychology world recommend it.
EP techniques and procedures can bring about remarkably rapid changes in the way people feel.
Professor of Psychiatry, Boston University School of Medicine
In the below video you see the results of EFT experts working with war veterans suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - one of the worst anxiety-disorders).
The transformation of these people is so obvious and profound, that this is what made me give EFT a committed try.
If you're skeptical, there's probably nothing I can say that will convince you that EFT is the real deal. And that's OK, maybe it's not your thing.
However, I know that when you give this a committed try (and get help when you need it), you'll become a raving fan.
Because when you feel something shift inside of you, that change is undeniable.
And when you rapidly release a sense of shame or a feeling of fear that's been with you for decades, you'll know EFT is the real deal.
Don't disregard this, give it a committed try. You'll have your (inner) world rocked.
Can I use EFT to solve my SA on my own?
You can definitely use EFT on your own.
And when you...
1. Take the time required to study it.
2. Gain experience using it.
... you are likely able to make some progress on your own.
However, “some progress” and “life-changing results” is a world of difference.
The results you are able to get on your own vs the results you get when working with an experienced coach is bigger than huge.
Overcoming your social anxiety is challenging.
Even if you’ve studied and know all about EFT…
You need to uncover the right past events that led to your current suffering.
Find the beliefs that cause the perception of danger. Know how to change them effectively...
... there is (subconscious) resistance that needs to be uncovered and overcome.
You need to know what to do when you get stuck, and why you get stuck.
And you need persistence to clear out every last trigger.
In short: It’s quite a puzzle solve on your own.
I don’t know of anyone who has done it on his own. I have had a lot of outside help myself.
The real deeper issues we are often blind to consciously (we have so-called "subconscious blinds-spots")
Having had someone guide me, who has the perspective has been life-changing.
One EFT Master says “even the best surgeon can’t remove his own appendix”.
You could start out on your own, and work with a coach once you’ve reached a plateau.
Or, you can start out with a coach and get a head-start.
Or, you can be guided and supported on your whole journey to social comfort.
Working with an experienced coach you can overcome your social anxiety in the most gentle and quickest way.
How long will it take to overcome my SA?
Anywhere from a couple of weeks, to a couple of months.
How long this will take depends on a variety of factors.
Like how intense and pervasive your social anxiety is and how challenging your past has been.
And how much (subconscious) resistance you have. Or what your current life experience looks like.
Every person is unique and every situation is unique. So it's impossible to give you an exact prediction. However...
Your social anxiety problem can be broken down into smaller pieces. And using EFT we focus on getting rid of one piece of your problem at a time.
Step by step you’ll start feeling more and more confident and at ease.
And in a relatively short time you will be able to just be yourself and enjoy social situations like others can.
I can give you an estimation, based upon 6 years of solely coaching socially phobic clients.
Here are the averages:
More than 90% of people experience an emotional shift after the first session.
They feel something has changed. They report feeling lighter, more comfortable, happier, more at peace, more optimistic.
Some people are done in just 3 sessions. About 35% of people is free of social anxiety in 3 weeks.
Others who have very severe social anxiety I see for more sessions. However...
Just about all people I work with experience life transforming results within 3 sessions.
What I can promise you, is that you will start to feel more calm and confident after each and every session.
And, you can expect a progressive reduction of your social anxiety.
What is the benefit of working with you?
Having overcome my own social anxiety, I can personally relate your problem.
I am specialised in helping people overcome social anxiety. I solely work with socially anxious clients.
Since Oct 2009 I have helped hundreds of socially anxious clients for thousands of hours.
I know you can get rid of this too.
You might prefer working with me because:
- You get to share your story and challenges with someone who understands your thoughts and feelings. Instead of judged, you feel understood and accepted.
- You don’t have to do your own detective work. So you don’t have to worry about doing it wrong. You feel safe making this important change in your life.
- You are guided to discover the challenges you’ve been blind to yourself. These blind spots often are the core issues to shift. By shifting these life-transforming change happens on a profound level.
- You are deeply listened to with someone who is totally present with you. You chat with someone who meets you where you’re at. You’re then gently probed and invited to come to your own insights.
- You quickly update the outdated programs that sabotage your life.
- You have personal access to me via email. You receive support, encouragement, and perspective.
- You often have fun making change!
How much is the investment?
I combine the best of traditional therapy with tapping. And this makes the treatment very effective.
Everyone I work with these days experiences a shift within the first session. They feel lighter, more at ease, calmer, more self accepting, and hopeful. Often they report that ‘a weight has been lifted off their shoulders’.
About 35% of the clients I see resolve their long-standing social anxiety in just 3 sessions.
I’m sure that’s hard to believe if you’ve been suffering for a long time, and you’re not that familiar with the power of EFT.
So here are several video testimonials of former clients who overcame their social anxiety through my coaching sessions.
What I offer is an approach that I've honed over the past 2 decades with hundreds of clients for > 5000 hours. It does not involve forcing yourself to face your fears.
Instead, we address the causes of these fears internally. We release them on a subconscious level.
It is a gentle (often even fun) approach that is highly effective.
Everyone notices relief after the first session. This doesn't just come from having a more "rational perspective". Instead, the amazing relief you experience comes from having released past emotional baggage. It comes from having neutralized your feelings of shame, fear, guilt, anger, anxiety, etc. It comes from having eliminated the limiting beliefs that cause you to feel bad about yourself, and unsafe in social situations.
Your improved self-acceptance and self-confidence then shows up in the outside world. It begins with:
- Feeling less anxious overall
- Being less bothered when you get triggered
- No longer beating yourself up when you get triggered
- Feeling calm in situations where you used to get anxious
And this gets better session after session.
Bit by bit you start to feel more liberated. More calm, relaxed, and confident. You’re not turning into someone else, you’re beginning to feel safe expressing your true, authentic YOU. Socializing becomes easy, natural, and fun. And connecting with others feels effortless. You’re not surrounding yourself with people you enjoy spending time with.
This is possible because we release the causes of your social anxiety you experience relief each session. You will experience more inner peace, more calm, less anxiety, and feeling better about yourself. And, you can expect a progressive reduction of your social anxiety in a relatively short period of time.
To get a realistic idea of the power of this work, check out the several video testimonials of former clients who overcame their social anxiety through my coaching sessions at the bottom of this page.
I only offer 1 coaching package to a very select few ideal VIP clients. The investment is $15 000,- for 3 months of coaching (a total of 6 bi-weekly coaching sessions of 2 hours each).
To apply, contact Lia at email@example.com. She will send you a client form. Once this is completed and returned there will be an intro chat to see if there is a good match. If so, the coaching process can be started
Looking forward to connect with you.
What if I don't know what caused my SA?
Most people I work with don’t know what caused their social anxiety. In fact, I’d say about 75% of them either don’t know, or what they think is the cause turns out not to be the cause.
This is because often the causes are hidden to you consciously. But your subconscious mind has all the answers.
During the coaching process I’m using some simple and efficient techniques to help you get to the root of your problems.
You don’t need to worry about doing it wrong, you simply follow my lead.
Finding the causes of your social anxiety is not your job.
I’ll help you uncover the repetitive negative experiences, the (mini)-trauma’s, the resistance to letting it go and the negative limiting beliefs.
This is an easy process, and often quite fun (as you can hear and read in the testimonials on this page).
Together we form a team and we will uproot whatever it is that caused, and is perpetuating your social anxiety.
I had a happy childhood, why am I anxious?
You don’t need to have a traumatic childhood in order to develop social anxiety.
The events responsible for your social anxiety can be subtle. It can be a critical father, an anxious mom, or being compared to your older brother.
And sometimes a single experience can kick-start it.
Plus, something that was terrible to you as a 7 year old, can be seen to you as “insignificant” as an adult.
You might not consciously know why you're anxious, but I can assure you there is a reason, and it can be found and eliminated.
You don’t need to worry about “where it came from” during coaching.
Your subconscious mind knows exactly what is causing your social anxiety.
And, with some gentle guidance it will naturally present what needs resolution.
More Testimonials From Clients:
“I found myself feeling completely calm and relaxed”
After just one session, those feelings of discomfort had completely vanished, I found myself feeling completely calm and relaxed in situations that had previously made me stiffen up, feel self conscious, awkward and generally very uncomfortable. The results I have had have been amazing. After many years of trying various things in vain, I have seen spectacular results very quickly since working with sebastiaan. Quite frankly, I have never felt better and I strongly recommend his work, it has done wonders for me.
“He is extremely easy to work with
and does a lot of the heavy lifting for you...”
“I NEVER would have done that before. It was exhilarating”
As a psychotherapist myself with a history of social anxiety, talk therapy alone just wasn’t cutting it. Now I see the value of using a strong experiential component to give the painful feelings a chance to move out after being evoked.
That’s why the tapping works so well and quickly. It helps move out the feelings that Sebastiaan helps to call up.
Before I started tapping with Sebastiaan, I struggled with social anxiety for years worrying about sweating and blushing, embarrassment and humiliation, and anticipating all kinds of situations with trepidation.
I would isolate and hide to protect myself…
... and I’m a person who loves connection.
But I was really afraid of being judged as a freak and then devalued, rejected and dismissed because of it. It really limited my life.
It created unnecessary dependencies and A LOT of negative thoughts and beliefs about myself, a lot of shame, hopelessness, fear and an unwillingness to move forward in life. Boy was I doing a dance to get through every day.
The frustration and all that toxic energy that I was holding in my system was very uncomfortable. I was afraid to go to parties and definitely really scared to go alone.
I felt like I needed to please people to be accepted. I would hide from authority figures. I had trouble being assertive even though I have strong preferences.
The tapping sessions I’ve been doing with Sebastiaan have helped significantly. I have been in a lot of different types of therapy over the years and for me, this one is remarkably effective.
The combination of the tapping technique and Sebastiaan’s skills and insight have created more forward movement in a short period of time than ever before.
He really is an expert on social anxiety and all of the traps that a person with social anxiety finds himself in.
And I’m not gonna lie, I’m so impressed by him. It’s the combination of his ability to be highly attuned and so articulate that works so well.
His precision cuts through the walls and defenses, gets me in touch with the deeper feelings and assumptions, and with the tapping, moves it out… all while giving me a new and more effective way to frame how I can approach future situations feeling safe and interested in embracing life.
I’m happy to report that now I’m trying lots of things that I used to be afraid of.
I’m more interested in going to parties and I’m actually enjoying them. I’m less isolated and feel more secure with myself to engage with all different kinds of people.
I’m getting more in touch with what’s important to me and feel hopeful, and I’m so much less depressed.
My anxiety has reduced significantly.
When I do feel anxious as I try new things, I don’t shame myself for blushing or sweating or looking nervous.
I’m more proud of myself for sticking with it even when it’s uncomfortable.
Recently, I invited someone I was chatting with in line at a restaurant to join me and have a meal together. I NEVER would have done that before. It was exhilarating.
I went to a wedding reception on my own and it was fine. I’m excited to keep discovering myself. I’m excited to keep trusting myself and what I know is important to me. I’m learning to be less afraid of the unknown.
I’m even learning to let go of other people’s perceptions of me as I concern myself more with my own self acceptance.
My advice, give Sebastiian and this process a try. The proof is in the pudding. You’ll know if it’s working in a short period of time. No need to guess.
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