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How A Negative Self Image Influences Your Social Anxiety

A negative self image holds you back in trying to recover from your social anxiety. Not only does it hold you back in trying to recover, but also in all other attempts to success and happiness in your life.

In this article I will explain the power of self image, how to find out what your self image is and how a negative self image is influencing your social anxiety. In the article below this one you can find steps to create a positive, healthy self image.

What Is A Self Image?

A self image is the mental picture you have of yourself in your mind. It is a picture of the type of person you perceive yourself to be. This picture is formed by all the beliefs you have about yourself.

Now this self image you have can be very inaccurate. It might even be very different from how the world sees you.

I happen to be a decent looking guy. That is what I know now, after having developed a healthy self image. When I suffered from social anxiety however, I couldn’t get the girls I wanted. I had a very negative self image and I thought I was far from good looking.

So because I thought I was unattractive, this got communicated to the people around me. And because I had such a distorted image of myself in my head, I discarded the interest I did get from women. In the rare occasion that a woman actually showed interest in me, I believed they only did so to mock me.

You see, you always carry this image of yourself with you and it influences how you think and feel on a day to day basis. How you think and feel about yourself then gets communicates through your body language, voice tone and general demeanor.

When you start to change your negative self image to a positive one you automatically correct your body language, voice tone and general demeanor. It changes how you see yourself. This results in other people seeing you differently as well.

Let me tell you how I first got to know the power of the self image. A good 8 years ago I read a book by an author called Maxwell Maltz.

The Famous Story Of Maxwell Maltz

Maxwell Maltz was a reconstructive and cosmetic facial surgeon. He would have people come into his practice with an ugly nose or a big scar on their face. They would claim that they felt ugly and that they were insecure and unhappy because of it…

Mr. Maltz would then fix their facial deficiencies and give them perfectly looking faces.

After he had done so, some people would completely change their lives. They would become confident because of their new appearances and live happily ever after.

Others however, still remained insecure and unhappy. Their faces looked perfect, but the people in question claimed that they felt nothing changed.

Maltz found out that this was because of the inner scars these people had. It wasn’t their outer appearance that was causing them to be insecure and unhappy; it was their negative self image

In the rest of the book the author explains how you can change your mental image with various exercises. He found out that when you change your negative self image to a positive one, you change your whole life.

After reading this I became aware of my own internal picture of myself. It noticed that just thinking of myself made me uncomfortable and upset. I started to understand that my social anxiety was because I was suffering from a very negative self image as well.

I started to put his exercises into practice and noticed that my anxiety level started to drop significantly within weeks.

Not only that, I felt more confident and could slowly but surely start to look myself in the eye when looking in a mirror. A thing that I had not been able to do so for a long time.

In the article below this one I’ll share with you the most effective exercises I used. But first you have to know about this…

How A Negative Self Image Influences Your Social Anxiety

Let me start off with a quote from the author “Maxwell Maltz”, mentioned above:


Our self image, strongly held, essentially determines what we become.

Maxwell Maltz


So when you have social anxiety, this is because you have a strong, negative self image of a socially anxious person.

When you change this internal picture, to one that is socially confident, you start to become just that; socially confident!

Now to be honest this isn’t 1,2,3 done. It does take some work, effort and persistence. You have carried this negative self image for a long time already, so you have to train your mind to start believing the new, socially confident self image.

How Do We Create A Negative Self Image?

If your self image is a negative one this is because you have accepted negative judgments from authority figures when growing up. You are not to be blamed for this, but this is what might have happened:

  • A teacher might have laughed at you when you said something wrong…
  • You might have been teased about being different in some way…
  • A girl or boy that you really liked might have told you that you are ugly…
  • Some person might have called you a loser…

What you did is you interpreted these comments or experiences as the absolute truth; so you have formed this limiting internal image of yourself. And this is currently causing you to suffer from social anxiety.

The good thing is, you can change this!

After you figured out what your current negative self image looks like, I will explain you just how to do this in the following article.

But first…

What Does Your Self Image Look Like?

Figure out what your internal picture looks like by answering these 10 questions below:

  • What do you believe people think about you?
  • What do you think you look like? Are you attractive or ugly? Insecure or Confident? Are you tall/small? What does your body look like? Etc. Be as specific as possible.
  • What effect do you have on people?
  • What does your body language communicate?
  • What does your facial expression communicate?
  • How do you see your personality?
  • Do others like you?
  • How do others respond to you?
  • What kind of social status do you have?
  • Are you likeable?

Now that you have these 10 answers and know how a negative mental image of yourself is influencing your social anxiety, go ahead and read the article below.

If you want to completely overcome your social anxiety disorder, getting coached by me personally (from the comfort of your own home and the ease of sitting behind your PC) have a look at the specifics of my 1 on 1 Skype coaching package Social Anxiety Coaching

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