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I’m sure you either have or had problems with making eye contact. Because it’s almost always directly connected to social anxiety. You know, you’re walking down the street and some random person is walking towards you.
Shit! you think…
…and you feel your heart rate increasing the closer he or she gets.
All sorts of negative thoughts are running through your mind…
Then when he comes closer and you decide not to look…
And then afterwards, when he passed you beat yourself up some more with an inner dialogue that might go something like this:
I’ve been there and it’s not very pleasant to say the least. In fact, it’s downright frustrating! And this is just the example of a situation with only one person.
In situations where there were more people, it was even worse. Like in school or at work. All these judging eyes, these uncomfortable feelings, this beating heart… Not at all pleasant…
In the coming articles I will write about some ways to deal with this. I’ll give you a very powerful mindset to take and I will also give you some awesome exercises to do to calm yourself down before you are making eye contact.
For the remainder of this article I’m going to write about the practical, normal things regarding eye contact. Must know ideas about making eye contact for the socially savvy person.
Ever heard of “Smiling with your eyes”? This is when someone has that shine in his or her eyes. Those twinkle. It communicates to you that the smile is a sincere one, not a fake smile.
You can therefore also consciously sub-communicate things with your eyes.
So you can for example think “I feel OK and I like you and approve of you”. This gets communicated to the subconscious of the person you’re making eye contact with. So you can do this to make someone feel at ease. And to feel comfortable yourself of course!
Don’t overdo it by smiling as if you just heard the best joke in your life, but give them a warm, approving smile. What I do is I think in my mind “What’s up? I’m happy, you like me and I like you”. That might help you as well.
A confident person looks the speaker in the eye and looks away from time to time. Like every 10 seconds or so. But this is not a conscious thing, it actually goes automatically.
What you can do is when someone tells you something interesting is to think “mmm interesting”, nod your head in agreement/approval when appropriate. Really try to listen. Because when you do listen, your attention is focused on the speaker and his “speech”, instead of on yourself.
By doing this you will be less concerned with your own thoughts and you will appear more at ease. Plus the speaker feels appreciated by you listening so attentively.
So maintain eye contact and break it periodically by looking down and to the side.
All in all, the above things are some basic facts and ideas about eye contact. The simplest thing to do is to just relax, think about something positive and give an approving smile when making eye contact.
If you can’t do this right now, stay tuned for the coming articles about the powerful mindset to take and the strategies to get you to the level where you can relax when making eye contact.
If you want to finally make eye contact with ease, smile and feel confident in ALL social situations, my unique Social Confidence System is exactly what you are looking for. From the ease of sitting behind your PC I will guide you through articles, audios and videos taking you all the way from social anxiety to social confidence.
Beware as this is not a simple change your thoughts, think optimistic, face your fears program… This system changes you at a deep level, eliminating your social anxiety for good. Try it out for 30 days risk-free!
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Changing Your Beliefs 101
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