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What is your personal social anxiety story?
I‘ve written about my own here and a little bit here. And I also write in most of my articles about my previous struggle with social phobia.
In most of those pages though, I only write about the period that I was still suffering. In this article I like to take a different approach. Here I am writing about the ending my social anxiety story.
Leaving the anxiety behind and living like a socially confident person.
This article is about what you can achieve if you are suffering from social anxiety yourself. If you are still in that negative head space, and you are doing all you can to end your own social anxiety story.
This will hopefully motivate you to take the necessary action towards overcoming your social phobia and becoming socially confident.
I’ve been making the biggest improvements towards social confidence in the last three years. Before that my whole social anxiety story wasn’t a very pleasant one to tell.
In the time before the last three years I did make some improvements here and there, but I also experienced a lot of set backs.
I would for example experience an anxiety situation and would become ashamed in front of other people. Afterwards I would then get depressed about it.
“Will there ever be an ending to my dreaded social anxiety story?” It seemed like I would be living with it forever and that it would only become “manageable”…
This then made me fall back into my old habits and avoidant behavior.
Back then I had build myself a petty boring and routine life in which I would hardly be confronted by my social anxiety.
I was most of the time too fatigued by my anxiety and negative thinking to really work on myself. And even though I had read and knew about so many things, I sometimes doubted that it made much impact.
I still did a lot of reading about possible solutions, but I did not consistently put it into action.
Until I then got sick of my social phobia which would motivate me to improve again…
This pattern, that didn’t get me very far, went on for a long time.
Can you relate?
This greatly improved when I took some courses in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique).
I also got a personal coach to help me end my social anxiety story and create my own social confidence story.
This is where I am at now, social confidence. And it’s the best feeling ever! I have such an amazing freedom! I thoroughly enjoy my life and feel grateful every day for how exciting life is right now.
My life now is amazing! I live in a country where I want to live, I travel to new places, have an amazing group of friends and meet new people constantly.
I go on trips with friends constantly and always really look forward to going to dinners, parties, clubs or any other social gathering.
I also date the women that I want to date and have no trouble starting a conversation with them anymore. Even getting “rejected” doesn’t get to me anymore.
I now truly love being around people. It energizes me and makes me feel good!
When I walk in a mall by myself for example I enjoy looking at the people around me.
When I was stuck in my social anxiety story I was always concerned about all the people being there. I felt as if they were all looking at me and I knew they saw how anxious I was.
I feared running into someone I knew, or worse, a group of people I knew. Now I look forward to meeting people I know…
When I now go out to grab some food somewhere, I most of the time am with friends. In the rare occasion that I’m not, this is fine too.
I don’t care about what strangers think of me anymore. Why would I? I know myself better than they do!
It’s easy for me now to think like this, but this was impossible when I still had my social phobia.
When I meet someone for the first time I’m excited to get to know the person. I’m sure they’ll like me, why wouldn’t they? I like myself, so why wouldn’t others like me also?
By me being convinced about this, most people do like me. And the ones that don’t like me… Hey that’s their problem, not mine!
I don’t feel being put “on the spot” any more when it is my turn to speak. I can freely speak my mind and joke around. I don’t care so much what people think of me anymore. And that feeling is great!
If I relate to my social anxiety story, and I think of how a normal day would go where I had to drag myself out of bed, I can’t believe
I was like that. Now I get up and look forward to yet another adventurous day.
Now it’s not that I don’t have any negative moments and am a complete Pollyanna.
Of course not.vSometimes things happen in life that suck. And then I might feel bad. But this feeling bad might be for a few minutes, an hour or at the most a day.
But it’s not social anxiety anymore. And that is awesome!
I’m optimistic now, completely optimistic. I used to look down on those people, they would annoy me.
Right now, I realize that it was probably my own insecurities and unhappiness that caused me to be jealous.
Optimistic people are simply happy, there’s just no need to see the negative side of everything.
It has taken me quite some time to get where I am now. And I’ve had a lot of setbacks. I would think I was completely socially confident and I would get into a new situation and something would come up.
In the beginning that would frustrate me, but after a while I just simply treated it with all the tools that I have acquired and I knew that I was yet one step closer to being totally socially confident.
First of all, there is a thing called “being addicted to your story”.
I don’t know if this is you, but in case it is…
Write down your whole life as it is now. Once you’re done, write out how you want your life to be.
Then do whatever you can to start believing that your new story is your actual life. Use all the techniques you find on the bottom of this page (and all other techniques you believe you need) to get there.
And if you can afford it, get help with overcoming your social anxiety.
It is extremely challenging to end your social anxiety story yourself. Especially if you’ve been living the story for a while. You might feel there’s no way out.
A coach can help you with this, he or she can help you see things in perspective.
Aside from that, do your best to develop a never give up attitude.
If you do so, social confidence will be yours, it’s just a matter of time. There are solutions to ending your own social anxiety story, lots of them are to be found on this site.
The harder and smarter you work on it, and the more disciplined you work on it, the faster you get to where you want to be.
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