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First off, let’s talk about effective action. Because if you spend time, energy and effort without noticeable results you quickly lose motivation. You’ll think nothing will work for you. You’ll fear that you’re broken. And that no one will ever get you. Worse, that you’ll live with your social anxiety forever… So you want to have the highest percentage chance your efforts yield the best results. To get the best results the fastest you want to take effective action. Taking effective action starts with the belief “this can work for me”. Because if you don’t believe this can work for you, how much action do you take? You’ll just read this, criticize it, or think it may work for others, but not for you. You go “this is too good to be true” or “it’s a waste of my time” or “why bother, I won’t be able to keep up with it anyway”. Or some other logical rationalization that prevents you from the only thing that gets your results:
You might even do some of the tapping, but only half-assed. Just to prove it doesn’t work. You don’t follow the instructions properly, and only spend a short time on it. Due to this, you get little or no results. This then reinforces your belief:
“see, this doesn’t work for me…”
Compare this to when you start with the belief “this can work for me”. Because you believe you could make improvement, you give it a committed try. You take determined action. You’re getting the right resources and help. You make sure you do it right. And you commit yourself to “making this work no matter what”. As you take committed action you quickly start to notice results. It starts with feeling relief. You notice the tapping calming you down over and over. This reinforces your belief that this can work for you. You find that painful memories no longer haunt you after properly tapping through them. This too reinforces your belief. Shortly, you start see that you’re feeling more relaxed in situations, that you’re calmer overall, and that certain situations no longer cause you to feel anxious…
… now your belief that you can be anxiety-free, socially comfortable and at ease, really strengthens. As your belief is stronger your motivation increases. As your motivation increases, you take more action more consistently. Which naturally brings you more results.And so forth.A positive feedback loop builds your positive momentum:
Now the reality of the situation is that while the tapping is very effective, social anxiety is something that attached itself to many areas of your life. So even with tapping it will take you time, energy and effort to free yourself of it. The tapping and info I have shared with you here is just an intro into how to do that. I build forth on that with my mini book “How to overcome social anxiety completely”, which I’ll send to you if you like. Now you won’t resolve your social anxiety with it. But, you’ll understand your social anxiety problem better than most psychologists do. Many people have reported that this understanding alone gives them great relief. Plus, you’ll have basic tapping now to manage your negative emotions. If you after this want to take things to the next level, the complete education and the 12 steps to overcoming your social anxiety are in my EFT-based online system. This program is the roadmap, or blueprint to go from social anxiety to social confidence. It’s the fastest way to become anxiety-free (aside from 1 on 1 coaching). It’s based on what I’ve learned from 1000’s of hours coaching socially phobic clients. After working with so many clients I’ve spotted patterns. I saw the same issues come up over and over again, and noticed myself using the same EFT-routines to resolve them. I realised I could put them into a system. This I’ve created in late 2011, and since continuously updated and refined. I’ve come up with a “one-size fits all approach”. It’s not a right fit for everyone (some people are better served with either 1 on 1 Skype coaching, or face-to-face therapy), but if it is a fit for you it can help you overcome your social anxiety significantly faster.
In the program there are articles, audios and videos where I guide you to overcome your unique social anxiety challenges step-by-step. At each step you find an article that explains what you’re about to do and why, and helps you uncover your unique challenge. After you’ve then uncovered the right target, you follow along with me on a subtitled video as I guide you through an EFT routine to resolve the issue. You are literally looking at me on screen following what I do, saying what I say. You’ll be releasing the fear, shame, insecurity and other negative emotions that keep you stuck. While we address your past, there is no endless digging in it necessary thanks to focused tapping. It’s not painful. But, since you’ve likely had this issue for a long time, it will take effort and dedication to permanently rewire your thinking and feeling so you can feel relaxed and at ease socially. For example, you’ll need to put in 30 minutes a day for at least a month. And as you do that, you will likely experience self-sabotage. Part of you will want to procrastinate. Which is why there is a whole section in the program dedicated to “tapping yourself free from self-sabotage”. Whenever you notice yourself sabotaging your efforts (procrastinating, feeling lazy, etc.) you go to this section of the program, tap away the resistance, and then consistently follow through. There is a solution for all the challenges that come up. Each step you eliminate a few negative limiting beliefs, get rid of some essential resistances, heal some old wounds, or overcome a negative behavioural patterns or way of thinking. Each step builds on the previous, allowing you grow more calm and comfortable step-by-step. Slowly but surely you’re starting to feel more safe socially. You’re increasing your level of self acceptance. Your self esteem grows. Those negative limiting beliefs are being eliminated one after the other. You’ll feel lighter. Calmer. More at ease. And slowly but surely, your anxiety starts to decrease. Results-wise, most people start seeing positive results in their life after a week. For most it starts subtle, for some it’s profound from the get-go.
It has been a while since I have contacted you but I wanted to email you to simply say thank you. Your course has helped to change my life, and funnily enough, without my realising it! I never truly noticed a change in me until yesterday. I went through an anxious episode (which thankfully was not triggered by anything ‘social’ but by something completely different) and experiencing all those physical and mental symptoms – the heart racing, the palms sweating, the stuttering, the inability to think straight, the negative thoughts, the feeling of doom etc. – made me realise how far I had come. Constantly feeling anxious and negative was once so normal for me but now my new normal is a sense of calmness, a sense of serenity. So, when I felt anxious yesterday I was shocked at how abnormal it all felt. I was shocked that I couldn’t remember the last time I had felt like that!
Your course has worked miracles, but in such a wonderfully subtle way that I never actually realised I changed! I still feel like me, I still act like me, so much so that it took an anxious moment for me to notice that I am actually different! Now when I think about it, I am so much more comfortable around people. I have fun with them whereas before I was too stuck in my head to have fun. I am more confident in myself and my abilities. I am more present 🙂
Your course is brilliant. Thanks so much for making it available for us to use. I would definitely recommend it to anyone who would like to be free of their anxiety once and for all. And if anyone is afraid of changing (like I was) then don’t be. You will change in such a gentle and gradual way that you won’t even feel it.
Thanks Sebastian, you’re actually pretty awesome 🙂
Progress is usually first noticed as less inner turmoil. More calm and ease. Feeling a bit better about yourself. People report they’ve noticed a significant reduction in the severity and frequency of their social anxiety in less than a month. And this progressively reduces as you keep moving forward in the program. While there are up and downs along the way, the results you achieve are permanent results. If you’ve successfully released a fear of belief, you won’t be bothered by that belief anymore. I’ve been able to create a general social anxiety disorder framework (A).
This explains how you got socially anxious and shows the internal world of a socially anxious person. I’ve also created a general social confidence framework (B). This shows the internal world of a socially confident person.
My online program is the roadmap to get from A to B. This roadmap I have broken down into 12 simple steps. These steps are in a specific order. This specific order is done this way on purpose. The order and sequence of the steps is what I’ve tested as the most effective. So that each step builds forward on the results of the previous step. I share the order and 12 steps with you once I tell you more about the system. I’ve shared a lot of essential information with you, and there’s a tiny bit more before I offer my program to you. The remaining info I send you is what prepares you for the program. It’s a “required reading” before you start the course, if you will. The info strengthens your belief “this can work for me” and demonstrates one of the key concepts to freeing yourself of your social anxiety. I hope that this -and all you’ve received so far- provides you with plenty of information to make a well-informed, intelligent decision. All what I’ve then given you is about 15% of what’s in my online program. This has been a lot of info and understanding. Logical, mind-based thinking stuff. Necessary to set the stage, and to build your belief that this is possible for you. But the program is 80% action steps. Because effective action (guided tapping exercises) is what gets you the best results. If you’re interested in this, sign up below by putting in your name and email and I will send the below PDF to your email inbox.