SUMMARY

In this video…

Sebastiaan acknowledges that resolving Social Anxiety in a single session is highly unlikely based on their experience coaching socially anxious clients for over 14 years.

He shares a client’s story to illustrate the process of overcoming Social Anxiety. The client initially felt calmer after the first session but reported no significant changes during the second session.

However, progress was made as they continued with subsequent sessions. The client experienced reduced anxiety, increased ease in social situations, and a more optimistic mood.

Sebastiaan encourages viewers to maintain hope, have faith in the process, and work with competent and experienced practitioners they trust.

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The 7 Secrets to Social Confidence

FULL TRANSCRIPTION

By combining EFT with the best of traditional psychology, you can absolutely overcome your Social Anxiety. No matter how long you’ve had it. No matter how severe it is. And… it’s NOT going to happen in a single session. But, let me share some stories from real clients to give you a realistic perspective of what it takes to make lasting changes. Stick around, and you’ll feel uplifted and hopeful by the end of this video.

Now I’ll start with some bad news:

In close to 14 years of coaching socially anxious clients, I’ve never had a client who resolved their SA in just 1 session. I’d say the average for being mostly SA free is about 10 sessions. Some are done in 3. Some take more than 20. I am one of those people – and I can tell you, it’s been so worth the time, money, effort, and persistence!

Being able to feel relaxed and at ease around others, and actually enjoy socializing is so worth it. It’s not just that you don’t feel anxiety, you also feel happier and more confident about everything in life. Your relationships improve, or you’ll be able to get in one, your career, how much fun you have in life. So it’s worth it.

That said…

There’s this misconception about EFT for Social Anxiety.

People hear about the power of EFT. They hear that through tapping, you can release your negative emotions. And shift your limiting beliefs. And that it often works where nothing else does.

So now they have some renewed hope after trying all these other things that didn’t work. They try it themselves, and maybe they get some relief. But they can’t get much further, because they don’t truly understand how to apply it to Social Anxiety.

They decide to reach out to a practitioner -who also doesn’t specialize in Social Anxiety- and to “try one session”.

They do experience great relief during that session.

But then afterwards, they go back into their lives and notice that nothing has changed.

And so they go,

”Damn, it doesn’t work for me. It was too good to be true anyway. This is just who I am. Or I’m just too tough of a case.”

And I’m making this video to shake up these people!

So if this is you, pay attention 🙂

Let me tell you about a client I recently worked with. Call him George.

He felt anxiety levels between 8 and 10 around certain colleges at work. Same around his boss.

Around his friends, he was a 3 out of 10, except for one friend, Tom. That was at least a 6, with spikes up to a full 10 out of 10.

He’s been suffering since he was 16 and is now 32.

At the end of our first session, he reported feeling calmer. More comfortable.

But when I saw him for the second session, he reported that nothing had changed. He felt a bit better for a short while after the session, but then he felt just like he normally does.

I told him it was normal. And we worked on whatever was going on.
At the end of the second session, he again felt better.

At the start of the third session, he was quite worried, because still nothing had changed in his life.

I reassured him that there’s nothing to worry about, that change is a matter of time and persistently applying the tapping to the right targets.

In the fourth session, he was in great distress. After 3 full sessions, he had not noticed any significant changes at all.

I again reassured him that there’s for sure something going on that’s causing this. Things are shifting within the session, so it’s all good.

Some detective work led us to uncover the feared outcome of being free of social anxiety. That was far more powerful than staying anxious.

We released the imaginary feared outcome. Got rid of the anticipated pain and cleared the fear.

In his fifth session, he came back, reporting that he had finally made some changes. Which he felt very relieved about. Less intense anxiety overall. And less upset about it. And a more optimistic mood overall.

And in successive sessions, he progressively reduced his Social Anxiety. He started feeling more and more at ease. Stopped experiencing anticipatory anxiety.

And George is doing very well nowadays. Which he’s super happy and excited about.

Now, just a quick little interlude.

George is a made up name. But I have actual clients who overcame their Social Anxiety, and shared their stories on my channel.

If you go to my channel and look at the playlist, you can find those. These are real stories. I’m not making them up. It’s very, very inspiring to go check that out.

If you want to learn how to overcome social anxiety completely, you can go to https://bit.ly/socialconfidencenow.

OK, back to George…  if he had believed he needed to shift his SA within one session, or had given up after the 2nd or 3rd session…

… he’d still be STUCK!

That’s why it’s important to have an empowered, realistic perspective. Here’s my truth, based upon 6,000+ hours of coaching: 

1. It’s highly unlikely to resolve Social Anxiety within 1 session.

It may be possible to resolve SA in a single session. But I’ve never witnessed it. So I’d say it’s at the very least unlikely.

2. Everyone experiences relief during a coaching session.

Tapping is powerful. I’ve not experienced anyone not shifting at all in the last decade.

3. Half of the time, that relief right away translates to (a little) progress in real life.

Things like:

– feeling less anxious overall
– less intense anticipatory anxiety (less worry)
– less upset about Social Anxiety
– less beating yourself up
– anxiety leaving faster when you get triggered

Basically, feeling less Social Anxiety, and a little more Social Ease.

4. The other half of the time, the relief doesn’t immediately translate to much noticeable relief in real life yet.

The reason for that is that you’re dealing with many aspects that make up your SA problem.

There’s non-acceptance to deal with. Resistance to change. And all sorts of beliefs, memories, and feared outcomes. It takes time to work through these.

This is where you need to keep hope. Keep the faith.

And make sure you work with a competent, experienced practitioner you trust and have a connection with.

5. It may take several sessions before you notice lasting relief.

It’s possible for it to take several sessions before you notice progress in the real world.

As long as you’re working with a great practitioner and making progress within the sessions, keep going.

6. Consider working with someone else if nothing shifts.

The story I told is relatively rare. Most people experience at least some mild changes after 3 sessions.

A practitioner I worked with once would only work with a client when there’s a minimum of a 6 session commitment.

If you’re not seeing any results after a whole bunch of sessions, you may want to consider working with someone else.

There is always someone who can help you. Never give up. And, if EFT isn’t your thing, there are other amazing modalities out there. My favorite is intention tapping, from Steve Wells. And I use various other ones, like PSYCH-K, Logosynthesis, and TAT.

Keep hope.

Now I know it’s hard to find people who specialize in Social Anxiety. And that’s why I’m preparing training for Social Confidence practitioners. I’ve been saying that for a while, and I do my best, it’s not always easy to manage a growing business. But it’s coming!

But if you’re looking for someone right now, I have a video here that’s going to give you advice on how to find a great practitioner.

And if you want to be inspired by other people who beat their Social Anxiety Disorder, I suggest watching this video.

In closing, I’d like to say that people overestimate what can be done in 1 session. But they underestimate what can be done in 10.

You can really beat this. Go for it. You got this!