Hey there! My name is Lia. I’m with Sebastiaan van der Schrier from Team Social Anxiety Solutions.

So last week, I was saying that there is a journey involved from being socially anxious to having effortless social ease.

If you have started that journey, that’s great!

For some of you who have been going through the journey for quite some time now, you may have already experienced progress or shifts, and truly, it does feel great! Your tapping and your inner works are now paying off!

But at times, you will find that the journey seems to be an “up and down journey”. By that I mean, before, you already find yourself less anxious and now, you’re starting to get socially anxious again.

So then, you ask, “Are the results permanent? Am I not tapping enough? Why do I feel so low or anxious right now, while last month I was feeling perfectly awesome?”

And now, you’re starting to get demotivated, you feel stuck, and you’re even thinking, is it about to give up?

First, you need to understand what’s going on. So then, you will be able to address the problem better.

Now, I give you our Social Confidence Coach, Sebastiaan to explain why does the up and down journey happens.

Here you go.

 People often ask me, “Well, are the results permanent when you do this tapping and how often do I have to tap?” I just want to talk to you today.

 Are Results Permanent?

 So, yes, the results are permanent, however, it may seem like the results are not permanent when you’re not addressing all the aspects of the problem. So, when you think about your social anxiety problem, it is actually quite a complex problem and it consists of many aspects. So, many, many smaller parts that make up the problem.

 So, when I work with a client I can break his problem down into smaller pieces and one part of the problem is the bodily sensations that he experiences when he’s in a social situation. So, like the hard racing, the lump in the throat, the tightness in the chest, maybe sweating, blushing in the face. You name it. And so, that’s one aspect. So, that’s one part.

 Then, another part is the memories that have caused or contributed to his social anxiety. The beliefs that he’s having that are causing or contributing to his social anxiety. Like, “There’s something wrong with me, people don’t like me, I should look cool, I can’t lose face”. You name it. There are tons of beliefs and an example of memory might be… An example of memory might be well the time when I read out loud in front of the class and I was made fun of. Or at a time when my dad scolded me or whatever.

 So, another aspect might be another smaller part of the overall social anxiety problem, which might be smaller parts of memories. So, say that we have that memory of all the time when dad scolded me when you think about it, it actually consists of multiple parts. So, it’s not just the whole memory, it is well, he looks at me and it’s the look in his face. That’s a smaller part of that memory. When he wags his finger at me, that’s another smaller part of the memory. The sound of his voice, that’s another smaller part of the memory.

And all these smaller parts of these memories need to be addressed, all the memories need to be addressed, all the beliefs need to be addressed, all the bodily sensations need to be addressed. Every aspect of the problem needs to be addressed in order for you to have complete relief on the problem. 

So, a little metaphor might be that when you think of your social anxiety problem as a pizza. You break that down whenever you have a pizza. If you have a nice pizza guy, he slices up the pizza into smaller pieces for you. You might have 12 pieces, or you might have 10 pieces or whatever. Same with your social anxiety problem. Every smaller part is like a pizza slice. 

Now, the good thing is this when you address as a memory thoroughly for example, so, say that you take that memory of your dad getting upset with you and you address it fully you use the tapping to clear it completely and you can’t get upset about it anymore even if you try that you’ve metaphorically eaten that pizza slice and that pizza slice, you are going to congest it, it’s going to go certain places. This is going to go…it’s gone. It cannot come back anymore, you cannot eat that pizza slice again anymore. And that’s the same thing for the tapping. So, that’s how you go about it.

So, then you work through the other slices of the pizza one by one by one until your problem is completely done. Now that’s a very simplified explanation of what it is, it’s a lot more complex than that but once you thoroughly address all of the aspects, your social anxiety will be gone.

 What does it mean when a memory I thought was resolved returns?

Now, questions I often get is like, “Well, I cleared this memory and a couple of weeks later it is back. I thought I couldn’t get upset about it anymore but a few weeks later it is back I still feel upset about it.” Well, that’s because you’ve missed it, well, for two reasons. Either there’s still some resistance to being free of anxiety or to being free of this memory. Or there’s a small smaller aspect of that memory you have missed.

So, for example, when you take the same example with your dad. You might if you break that memory down it might consist of five smaller parts and when you do your tapping you clear four of the smaller parts and it’s the fifth one you’re not aware of and a month later you still feel a bit upset. Well, you haven’t addressed that fifth part of the memory. Alright? Or some resistance has come up. So, some part of you doesn’t want to let go of the memory completely. So… And there might be like, “Well, I don’t want to forgive him” or “It’s not safe to let go of this completely because then I’ll have to do X Y Z”. 

And so, you then simply address the resistance that comes up or you address the smaller aspect that wasn’t addressed fully yet and then you move past the memory completely. So, it actually doesn’t happen that often. I’d say maybe in five percent of the cases or something if you’ve thoroughly cleared a memory you’re done with it.

Now, another more common thing is that people get, make progress on their social anxiety, so they feel less anxious and then it comes back. So, why does that happen?

Well, it happens for a variety of reasons. 

Okay, I had to cut that for now as that already gave you answers on why the “up and down journey” happens. Because when we understand what’s going on, it helps you deal with the problem better.

If you want to watch the full 17-mins video about how to Permanently Eliminate Your Social Anxiety Using the EFT Technique (or the Emotional Freedom Technique/tapping technique), go to the link provided in the description section of this episode.

If you want us to help you address those smaller pieces of your social anxiety problem, so you can overcome your social anxiety completely, I recommend you to go to our website and see the solutions that we offer on how we can support you on this journey.

Go to www.social-anxiety-solutions.com

That’s all for now. See you next Thursday!

If you experience Social Anxiety, click below to receive the FREE “7 Secrets to Social Confidence” Mini Course!

SEND ME THE 7 SECRETS TO SOCIAL CONFIDENCE!

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Sebastiaan

Sebastiaan van der Schrier is a Social Confidence Coach and ex social anxiety sufferer. He helps socially anxious people become confident using a unique and painless approach. He is the host of the Social Anxiety Solutions podcast show and runs the first ever online Social Confidence Community.

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