SUMMARY

In this video…

Sebastiaan explains how Social Ease differs from Social Confidence, which is a performance-based approach to socializing. Instead, Social Ease is about self-acceptance, being comfortable with who you are, and feeling safe to be yourself.

To achieve Social Ease, it is necessary to eliminate limiting beliefs, emotional cycles, and negative fantasies that prevent you from feeling at ease in social situations. This can be accomplished by tapping into and shifting beliefs about social interactions.

Sebastiaan offers a FREE Mini Course titled “The 7 Secrets to Social Confidence”

FULL TRANSCRIPTION

You don’t create social confidence, you unlock effortless social ease.

Hey, it’s Sebastiaan from socialanxietysolutions.com, I specialize in combining the best of traditional psychology and self-help personal development, with energy psychology, in particular –  tapping.

With that, I’ve discovered that it’s not so much about creating a state of Social Confidence, which is kind of like the mainstream thoughts like,

Hey! Look, you got to enhance your social skills and practice them
Go face your fears
Learn that you can handle those situations and have the social skills ready
Practice them ahead of time so you can be proud of yourself and pat yourself on the back after you’ve had a successful social interaction.
You can gather more social interaction that were pleasant and positive, and they have a whole storehouse of them.
You can do socializing well, then you’re good at the performance of socializing.
You can become really good at that and you become socially confident.

Well, maybe for some people that works to some degree. However, it’s still a performance. It’s something that you do, something that you’re good at. In my experience, that’s not what you’re looking for.

What you’re actually looking for is ease, comfort, being chill, just showing up as you feeling safe to be yourself. True Social Ease is not something of confidence.

When I’m talking to someone, I don’t feel confident per se. I can feel slightly insecure, or not having a great day, and I can still feel at ease with myself and with the emotions that I’m experiencing because I’m okay with myself.

Social Ease is more about self-acceptance than it is about self-confidence. Confidence comes from having a particular skill, being able to do something, trusting that you can do it well and handle it well.

It’s a part of Social Ease, but it’s a much smaller part. It is not about becoming confident. It is about stripping away the bullshit, all the programming, the stuck emotional cycles, the limiting beliefs that are in the way of you feeling safe being yourself socially. So, it is not about creating social confidence. Rather, it is about unlocking social ease.

As you use the tapping to get rid of traumatic experiences, as you shift and change beliefs around, whether you do that through the tapping by neutralizing the emotions connected to belief, or by challenging particular beliefs that aren’t helpful, this is less likely the case more often, it is actually the shifting of the emotions connected to a particular belief.

But, as you start doing that, and as you use the tapping to get rid of these negative fantasies, these social fears that you’ve created, you actually start to become more okay with yourself.

You become more at ease being you. You’re no longer worrying about the perception of other people. You stop worrying about what other people think of me, because you’re okay with you. You know that you cannot control that, so you let go of that which you do not control, you let go of the outcome of social situations.

And instead, you’re accepting yourself, you’re accepting whatever happens. And now you’re in a social interaction, you’re coming at it from an open place. You’re open to anything, attached to nothing. Just curious. You’re in the present moment. You’re not doing anything.

This is not a performance. You’re not a social actor. No, you’re just a human being and you’re showing up and you are being yourself.

You’re okay with you, you like yourself, you respect yourself, you trust yourself, you are accepting of who it is that you are and you anticipate, you expect that others are going to treat you in a like manner. If they don’t, you are okay with that.

You can handle that because their opinion of you has very little value compare to how much value you give to your own opinion of yourself. You let go of what you can control, you focus on what you can control. It’s effortless.

This is what you’re trying to get to. That is actually your natural state, which you can get to, by undoing the programming, the conditioning, the painful experiences and the beliefs and fears that you learn from that; and that can be done with tapping, the right mindset and psychology.

Now, if you want to learn how to do that, I’ve got a free course called The 7 Secrets to Social Confidence, which you can get by going to bit.ly/socialconfidencenow.

If this sounds hard to believe that you can get to that place, I suggest checking out one of these video testimonials of former clients who suffered from social anxiety for the longest time, couldn’t overcome it, and actually overcame it.

They’re talking about their experience, how it was, what they did, how long it took, what worked, what didn’t work, and how they actually got to the place of ease and confidence and feeling safe to be themselves. Very, very inspiring.

Go check it out here. Bye for now.