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Sebastiaan responds to a viewer’s question about how to do EFT tapping in public.
He demonstrates “finger tapping”, a less noticeable method of tapping on your fingers than tapping on the usual EFT tapping points.
However, using this technique to get rid of Social Anxiety in a social situation will not be as effective as traditional tapping.
Sebastiaan advised that finger tapping will work better if done simultaneously with the intention to accept and allow the anxiety to happen.
You can improve your tapping effectiveness by watching our guided tapping videos regularly.
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The 7 Secrets to Social Confidence
Imagine you’re in a social situation and you’re feeling anxious.
Your heart is racing.
You’re worrying about what might go wrong.
You’re feeling anxious.
All of a sudden you thought, “Yeah, I know EFT tapping!”
You started going, “Even though I feel anxious and I have this anxiety in my chest, I deeply and completely accept myself.”
Then, all the people turned to you and they were like,
“What the hell’s going on with this guy?”
“He’s lost the plot.”
“What’s happening here?”
That’s not very realistic, right?
So, how do you use tapping in a secret way? How do you make it so that people don’t know? How can you keep it invisible?
Well, that’s what I’m going to answer today. I do that because I got this question:
“I only have one question regarding the tapping. If I’m in a public place where I see people everywhere around me, how would I be supposed to do it without getting strangers’ attention, like in a restaurant, etc.”
I’m going to teach you two things.
1. Finger Tapping
The well known points are,
…then back again.
The less familiar points are the finger points, but they’re equally or almost as powerful.
Where are the finger points?
They are on the outside of the nail bed of the thumb and on the inside of the nail bed of each finger.
You can tap on it in the way that I just did. You can open your hand, fold your thumb, drop your index finger, and tap on the outside of the thumb. Then you make a fist and use your thumb to drop down on the inside of the nail bed of those fingers. You’re now tapping.
My mentor, Dr. David Lake, is a psychotherapist and one of the most qualified people I know. He learned the tapping technique in 1998. He made all sorts of refinements with his mate, psychologist Steve Wells.
Eventually, David ended up just using finger tapping in his psychotherapy sessions. It is very powerful. What they taught me was that you can take this with you anywhere you go.
So right now, I’m tapping. You don’t want to tap too hard because you’ll get a different impression. You can have it behind your back, and you can be tapping. If you’re wearing a jacket, you can be tapping, etc.
It’s kind of like a movement that some people are making anyway. This is a way that you can hide the tapping and take it with you in a social situation.
If you’re in a meeting, you can do it under the table. That’s a way to make it invisible.
Here’s a disclaimer:
When you’re tapping on Social Anxiety in a social situation, tapping to get rid of the anxiety is not going to do very well. Why not? Because your brain in that situation is perceiving a threat.
It activates the Fight Flight Freeze response in order to sound the alarm.
“Hey, danger! Get the hell away from here!” or “Fight or freeze!”
As long as your brain is perceiving a threat, typically this is not going to be effective. What’s going to be more effective is doing this tapping while simultaneously having the intention to accept and allow the anxiety symptoms to be there.
I know this is a counterintuitive instruction, but this is actually what will help you complete the cycle. What you try to push down will fight back. What you resist persists. What you accept and allow can begin to calm you down.
Emotions and anxiety are like waves in the ocean. They peak somewhere. When you allow it and don’t obstruct it, it can come and go.
I’m not saying this will definitely eliminate your Social Anxiety, but it may calm it down a bit. What you can also do is excuse yourself if it’s possible or appropriate. Go for a walk where you have some privacy, or go to the toilet. Then, start tapping on whatever it is that is triggering you.
That’s what you can do at the moment when you don’t have the same level of control that you have when you’re inside the comfort of your own home.
Once the situation is over, you can ask yourself,
What was it that was triggering me?
What did I see as a threat?
What did I see? Or hear?
What was being said that I emotionally reacted to?
What emotional thoughts do I have about this?
What feelings does this trigger in my body?
Then use the tapping to neutralize that.
2. Purposely go to a social situation
Not the one where you actually start socializing. A lot of people are actually anxious just because they are in a particular social situation. Let’s say you’re going to a restaurant by yourself, sitting on the train, on the bus, or whatever.
Go wherever that place is, and just do the finger tapping. Now that you’re not engaging or interacting with anyone, you can actually focus on what it is that is triggering you.
First, focus on accepting and allowing the anxiety while you’re doing your finger tapping. You can do it with one hand. You can do it with two hands. You can do that invisibly.
Once you’ve kind of calmed yourself down, you can simply start tapping. That will draw people’s attention. But it’s actually not so much because I do it all over the place.
Some people might look over, and some people might laugh. Those are tapping targets for you. When you’re worrying about what it is that they’re thinking of you, you’ve got an easy tapping target.
“Even though they’re laughing at me and they’re thinking that I’m a weirdo, I accept myself and my feelings.”
You just tap from point to point, or you observe the feelings in your body as you’re doing the tapping. Bit by bit, you’re starting to reduce and release those triggers that can activate it in that particular social situation.
It might only take you one time to go to a particular cafe and tap for an hour. It may take you a few sessions and a few visits. Eventually, you’ll be in that cafe, and you can actually tap. You’re not worried about what people think of you at that moment.
It’s a great thing to do, especially when you’re dealing with Social Anxiety, because it brings up the problem.
It’s challenging, and it’s not for everyone. I’m just telling you that this is an option. Go and try it out. Play around with it.
If you’re not in a social situation right now, you may want to get some relief by doing some guided tapping. Check out one of these videos that I’ve got here. Just hit play, start tapping along, and get some relief.
Talk to you very soon. Ciao.