Hey, here we are! This is Sebastiaan from www.social-anxiety-solutions.com. 

I’m a former Social Anxiety Disorder sufferer. Since 2009, I’ve been a Social Confidence Coach helping people with tapping and other energy psychology techniques to overcome their social anxiety, move through the different stages on a journey to social ease, and help them feel more at ease in social situations.

Today, I’m going to continue what we started last week where I talked about the fear of awkwardness, and I gave you some myths that many people with social anxiety have. 

I talked a little bit about how to see things differently. Then, I promised you at the end of that video that we’re going to do a little tap along in order to reduce that fear of awkwardness. That’s what we’re going to do right now.

If you’re not familiar with my work, then one of the techniques I’m going to be using is called E.F.T or “Emotional Freedom Techniques”. It’s a silly odd, strange-looking technique where you tap with the tips of your fingers and specific acupressure points in the body. This helps to reduce and release stuck negative emotions held in the body. 

We’re going to focus on awkwardness and then we’re going to apply that technique, then just see what happens. 

Let’s do that right now.  

Now before we’re going to do that, if you’re not familiar with it, and you don’t know exactly where I’m doing the tapping, just guess where I’m roughly tapping – you can see it. We’re going to do monkey see, monkey do.  

So, where I tap you follow, and what I say, you repeat once we’re actually doing the tapping. 

For now, I first want you to rate to see where you’re at in terms of awkwardness. I want you to close your eyes. I’ll do it with you.  

Now as you have your eyes closed, think of a recent scenario that was very awkward. See what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. 

Now notice what that feels like in your body. Is your heart beating faster? Is there a lump in your throat? Are you jittery? Is there a feeling of shame? Notice how you’re feeling.  

Then, also notice if you have fear of that happening again – the fear of awkwardness.  

If so, I want you to rate that fear on a scale of 0 – 10.   

0 is like no fear at all. 10 is like as scared as I can be.  

You might think of an upcoming social situation. Then, rate it on a scale of 0 to 10. Now, open your eyes.  

Good! Now just tap on the side of your hand right here (karate chop) and repeat after me.  

Even though I’m afraid of awkwardness 

It really sucks when things get awkward  

And I can’t handle it… 

I accept how I feel 

or at least I’m trying to. 

Even though I’m afraid of awkward situations, 

because I blame myself when they happen. 

It’s not okay if they happen. 

I don’t want others to see me awkward. 

I’m willing to consider the possibility… 

of accepting my feelings anyway. 

Even though I’m afraid of awkwardness, 

and there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to let go of that fear. 

Maybe it’s not safe to let it go; 

Maybe it’s part of my identity; 

Maybe I don’t deserve to let it go. 

Maybe I’ll lose control if I let it go. 

But for whatever reason, I don’t want to let go of this fear of awkwardness. 

But I do want to try to accept all my feelings. 

Good. Now tap on the beginning of your eyebrows — This fear of awkwardness, 

Now tap on the side of your eyes — I want you to think about that future scenario where you’re anticipating what you’re scared off.  

While you tap under your eyes, think about what about that is scary? Is it the looks that people might give you? Is it the feeling that you have in your body when you think about it? Or Both? (It’s usually both) 

Tapping under your nose — I just want you to put your attention where you feel that feeling in your body.  

While you tap on your chin just say — I release all my emotional attachments to I shouldn’t feel awkward. 

Tap on your collarbone — Awkwardness is bad  

Tap under your arms — if there is awkwardness, it’s my fault.  

Tap on your wrist point — I’m not supposed to feel awkward. 

Tap on top of your head — I make other people feel awkward 

Tap on the beginning of your eyebrows — No, I don’t 

Tap on the side of your eyes – Yes, I do! 

Tap under your eyes — I’ve got lots of evidence. 

Tap under your nose — But sometimes I get anxious, and others don’t feel awkward 

Tap on your chin — So maybe it’s not my total responsibility 

Tap on your collarbone — when someone gets awkward when I feel anxious. 

Tap under your arms — It’s their responsibility. 

Tap on your wrist point — I’m still afraid of awkwardness, 

Tap on top of your head — and I release all my emotional attachments to my resistance to letting go of this fear 

Tap on the beginning of your eyebrows — There’s a part of my being that already knows… 

Tap on the side of your eyes — …how to accept awkwardness, and see it as normal, and not to take it on as my responsibility, and to handle it kind of smoothly. 

Tap under your eyes — And that part of my being is willing to inform the rest of me now. 

Tap under the nose — It’s doing so now with grace and ease. My mind, body, and spirit are now receiving this information. 

Tap on your collarbone — Information transfer is now complete  

Tap under your arms — I accept how I feel about awkwardness. 

Tap on your wrist point — Awkwardness is awkward! I’m not alone in that 

Tap on top of your head — and I choose to accept my feelings anyway. 

Tap on the beginning of your eyebrows — Awkwardness is not okay.

Tap on the side of your eyes — Unless it is  

Tap under your eyes — I’m so scared of it.  

Tap under your nose — And I accept my feelings.  

Tap on your chin — Awkwardness is awkward 

Tap on your collarbone — And that’s okay. 

Tap under your arms — It’s true that awkwardness is awkward.  

Tap on your wrist point — So it is for other people 

Tap on top of your head — and I choose to relax into awkwardness 

(Deep breath)   

You might want to repeat this. Go back to the beginning to do it again, you might want to sit with your feelings, tap from point to point, and just notice what comes up for you.  

This is just a little exercise, little slice of the pie if you will.  

For many people, it requires a whole journey in order to overcome this challenge with awkwardness.  

Journey to becoming okay with you so that this is really solid within you; so that you are so okay with you, you like yourself so much, you’re so comfortable in your own skin that you can effortlessly handle uncomfortableness and awkwardness and so on.  

There’s more of a journey involved in getting to that place. But this is a bit of a taster of what’s possible when you apply tapping. Just a little bit of relief is already helpful, it’s already going to make a bit of a difference.  

However, you need to do the deeper underlying work in order to shift this permanently.  

See how this goes. My guess is that this will improve things for you a little bit, but there’s so much more of what is possible when we actually go on the journey to social confidence.  

But I hope you like this. Make sure you subscribe, hit the bell, so you get notifications. And I’ll connect with you very soon. I release videos like this every Thursday.  

All right, thank you!  

Comments below, and I’m out.  

Bye!

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Sebastiaan

Sebastiaan van der Schrier is a Social Confidence Coach and ex social anxiety sufferer. He helps socially anxious people become confident using a unique and painless approach. He is the host of the Social Anxiety Solutions podcast show and runs the first ever online Social Confidence Community.

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