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Sebastiaan shares a viewer’s experience who had been managing his Social Anxiety. However, it got worse after he tried exposure therapy in a Toastmasters Club.
To overcome Social Anxiety, it is essential to let go of perfectionistic beliefs and unrealistic expectations. Stop beating yourself up after a poor social situation and instead take advantage of the opportunity to expand your comfort zone.
Sebastiaan emphasizes that overcoming Social Anxiety is a gradual process rather than a quick fix, but it is possible to overcome social anxiety with time and effort.
Learn how tapping can help you overcome your Social Anxiety.
Get our FREE Mini Course:
“The 7 Secrets to Social Confidence”
Click here to listen to one of the interviews with former Social Anxiety disorder sufferers mentioned by Sebastiaan in the podcast.
Do you also need a way out of Social Anxiety? This video is for you
I had a comment underneath one of my videos that goes as follows:
“I’ve been managing my Social Anxiety pretty well until four months ago, when I took up a role in a Toastmasters club that I joined sometime last year, just to minimize or eradicate my Social Anxiety.
Just for your information, a Toastmasters Club is a nonprofit public speaking organization for people who want to overcome their fears, become better speakers, or something of the like.
What you do is prepare speeches, and then you get feedback from people on how well you did. It’s a very pleasant environment, and all that kind of stuff.
They also have different kinds of roles, such as keeping the time, and they do table topics where you have to free flow for a minute at a time.
It’s pretty cool. I’ve done it myself way back in the beginning, before I found tapping. I recommend it. It’s a good way to test and see if you get triggered. If you get triggered, you have something to work on. Anyway, let’s continue.
“I volunteered to be the timer only for me to visibly be shaking in front of everyone when I was called to do my role. Since then, my Social Anxiety has worsened to the extent that I’m not always at ease, even talking to people that I’m familiar with. It’s frustrating, and it’s embarrassing.
Listening to your conversation with the AI machine has now made me understand that the exposure therapy can be too scary and make the situation worse. Now I am stuck and I don’t know what to do. I need a way out.”
So basically, what he’s saying here is,
I was doing all right until I started facing my fears. As I faced my fears, I began to shake, and that was seen by others. I started worrying about that. Now, my Social Anxiety is even worse than it was. I thought that facing my fears was the answer. But if it isn’t, what is the way out now?
Well, the way out is to get rid of your perfectionistic beliefs about how you should or shouldn’t be in a social situation. When we go into a social situation, we have these unrealistically high expectations of what’s expected of us. That needs to be changed.
You probably are dealing with some kind of negative identity belief, such as
“I’m not good enough”
“There’s something wrong with me”
“I’m not okay the way I am”
You need to accept Social Anxiety as it is and trust that you can handle it whenever it comes up without judging yourself. You need to get rid of your attachment to the outcome of particular social situations.
Further, you need to get rid of this idea that your social skills are inferior, not good enough, that you’re not socially savvy, that you can’t do small talk, or any of that stuff. It’s actually the anxiety that’s causing that.
You need to get rid of your negative expectations regarding upcoming social events. This includes thinking about all of these worst case scenarios that might happen or thinking you cannot handle the situation.
You need to get rid of the idea that when you are in a crappy or poor social situation, huge disasters are going to come as a result. That you will lose your reputation and that no one will like or respect you. That it’s all doom and gloom after an embarrassing situation.
Further, you need to stop beating yourself up after social situations because that is preparing you for the next sort of situation. So when you beat yourself up, you’re lowering your self esteem. Now, with that lower self esteem, you go into the next situation.
You need to use the things that you’re avoiding as opportunities to heal and expand your comfort zone. So that’s the way out.
I’m explaining everything to you quickly in order to help you understand it. There’s a lot of information there that might help you realize that, “Okay, this is not a quick fix. I’m not going to be over this just by snapping my fingers. I’m not going to be over this by consuming more information. I actually need to do something about it”.
The person in question, who wrote this, has actually taken action and is doing something about it. It’s just that the strategy that he was using (forcefully facing his fears) wasn’t very effective. So, he’s looking for a different kind of strategy.
I’m imagining that I’m talking to you right now. What I would recommend is that you:
– learn about tapping
– learn about the psychology of the socially confident
– learn about the psychology of change
– learn how to use tapping to overcome Social Anxiety
Once you learn it, you actually start taking action. You start using these tapping skills to address the problems that I mentioned before.
The problems that I mentioned before are predominantly:
– Negative Emotions
– Traumatic Experiences
– Negative Fantasies
Tapping is super powerful for those. But I cannot say, in 30 seconds or even five minutes, “Well, do this, this, this, and this and this. And now you’ve learned tapping, and now you know how to address it.”
It takes time to learn and understand this. If you want to overcome this problem, you actually can. It’s just a matter of how much time you’re willing to commit to learning this. And as soon as you learn the tapping, which is very quick, you can start using it to get relief. Your problem will begin to shrink with it.
You can start shrinking the problem within a day. You can have reduced Social Anxiety within a month of applying this.
By using tapping correctly over time, you can actually get to a point where there is none of it left, where you’re just at ease, comfortable, and chill with yourself.
This is not an outside-in approach in which you say, “Oh, I’m going to do this thing to gain confidence.” This is removing the obstacles inside, getting rid of the conditioning to make you feel safe, and just being yourself.
Social Ease is just your natural state. The programming on top of it is what makes you feel like it’s unsafe to be who you are, which in turn leads to Social Anxiety. You can release that by tapping.
I have a free 7 Secrets to Social Confidence course, where I take the best of the best that I’ve learned in 13 years as an actual coach. I’ve coached close to 6,000 hours, including about 500 hours of group coaching. I’ve put all of that in that 7 Day course.
You’ll learn a lot about:
– The psychology of the socially confident.
– Why are you dealing with this issue?
– Why a lot of other approaches haven’t worked?
– What will work?
You’ll get some of my best podcasts, and there are over 500 of them. You have guided tapping experiences, and you learn to understand the biggest obstacle to change. It’s just really, really powerful.
After seven days, you realize, “Okay, this is why I’ve been dealing with this problem. This is why I can’t seem to overcome my Social Anxiety. Now that I know what to do to get rid of it, I am hopeful that I will be able to liberate myself. I’ve already experienced some shifts and changes with this tapping. This is amazing.”
If this sounds like something that you’re interested in, you can go to https://bit.ly/socialconfidencenow
I hope this helps you. This is Seb from social-anxiety-solutions.com
Check out one of these video testimonials of former clients who overcame their Social Anxiety using this approach. It’s very inspiring to hear this because they shared:
– how it was for them
– what they tried
– how they couldn’t overcome it
– what they did
– the obstacles that they encountered along the way
– how good it is now
– how much they value where they’re at
– how grateful they are for their changes and transformation
Go check it out. It’s really inspiring. Go here now. Bye!