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You may have asked yourself the following questions: “
Why can’t I see immediate results in tapping?”, “Why am I not progressing?” and “Why does my anxiety level won’t come down when I’m tapping?”
Not knowing the answers to these questions may lead to your disappointment.
And in today’s episode, I’ll be addressing that and will also guide you through a tapping exercise to help you understand what holds you back from overcoming your Social Anxiety.
Sit back, relax, and tap – along!
PS: I will be running my FREE 30 DAY FREE SOCIAL CONFIDENCE CHALLENGE starting on January 1, 2021.
Join now and start your journey to social confidence.
Hello! This is Sebastiaan from www.social-anxiety-solutions.com.
Today I’m answering a question that was posted under a YouTube video. And the question is as follows:
“Hey Seb, I was wondering how can I get rid of this, ‘I will just think, tap, and it will go away’ way of thinking? I constantly find myself wanting immediate results and getting utterly disappointed when I don’t. But I also kind of recognize that I must look forward to the long-term results. I think I begin to understand that way of thinking. It’s just that I don’t know how to stop expecting immediate results. Any advice? Thank you, fella. Cheers.”
Let’s first start with the feeling of disappointment that you get, whenever you notice that you’re not getting great results, that you’re not getting instant results.
Whenever you’re tapping on a particular feeling. And the intensity is not decreasing. Two things are going on in most cases:
One part of you is not your subconscious. Is not in agreement with letting go of the feeling or the memory or the belief or whatever it is social anxiety in itself, whatever it is that you’re focusing on, that you’re trying to reduce.
So, you need to address the resistance.
The simplest way to do that is “it’s not safe to let go of this belief, this memory, I don’t deserve to let go of…fill in the blank. This is part of my identity. I don’t want to let go of this for whatever reason.”
And you might say, “I release all my emotional attachments to my resistance to letting go of…fill in the blank”, and then wait for 20 – 30 seconds.
Just those statements are going to release the resistance in more than 85% of the cases. So that releases the resistance, then go back to what you’re tapping on.
You might ask yourself, say that you’re working on a particular feeling. And that feeling is a shame, or insecurity, whatever. You might ask, “Well, what does this insecurity remind me of? Or when can I remember feeling this insecurity earlier in life? Or what memory can I think of where I felt the same insecure feeling?”
Because we’re reliving these old feelings. That’s just in terms of the effectiveness of your tapping.
However, when you find yourself having a particular attitude that you’re expecting instant results, you want instant results right now. And when you don’t get instant results, you feel disappointed?
You want to tap on that disappointment, and you simply focus on the disappointment, and you might even verbalize it. And I feel so disappointed and just speak out loud about what your expectations are. Because expectations are beliefs in and of themselves. And you have expectations about the journey from social anxiety to social ease.
Now, if your expectations are, “I need instant results, I have to get results right now. And every single time I need to get perfect results”, then you’re going to be disappointed a lot which is going to demotivate you, which is going to lead to less action and therefore less results. And it’s just not very helpful.
So, you want to get rid of irrational or unrealistic expectations. And you also want to get rid of negative expectations. (i.e., This won’t work for me, it’s too difficult. It’s hard is not worth my time. I don’t have it in me, I won’t persist) and all of these are just emotionalized thoughts and you can tap on them one by one. So we’ll just do a little round of that together.
We’ll start with your positive expectation. Your unrealistically optimistic expectations.
Tapping on the beginning of the eyebrows – I need immediate results all the time.
(Of course, you’re following along with me tapping at the beginning of the eyebrows, repeating what I say)
Now we’re going to decide the eye – If I don’t get instant results. I’m going to be upset.
Under the eyes – That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.
Under the nose – This is my most mature way of thinking about this.
Chin – Unless it isn’t
Collarbone – But I want results right now.
Under the arms – And I don’t want to put in the work.
Liver point – I don’t want to do what is necessary.
Wrist point – I don’t want to do this stupid tapping.
Top of the head – And if I tap, I need perfect results every single time.
These are just some examples and what you’re doing by just tapping, you’re verbalizing those unrealistically optimistic expectations, childlike thinking really, is it takes the emotion connected to those kinds of thoughts, it takes it out of it, and it becomes less of a thing for you. And it becomes less strong until your kind of not connected to those kinds of thoughts.
I’ll do one round for the opposite.
On the beginning of the eyebrows – It’s so hard to go on this journey.
Side of the eyes – And I’m never going to get to social ease anyway. So why bother?
Tapping under your eyes – I release all my emotional attachments to social ease is impossible for me.
Just observe, keep tapping.
Tapping under the nose – It’s really difficult to do this tapping
Chin – I have to like move my hand and think of things.
Collarbone – I’m not sure I can keep up with it.
Under the arms – I release all my emotional attachments to change is hard and difficult.
Tapping on the liver point and just repeat after me – Sometimes it’s hard and difficult. And other times it isn’t. Sometimes it’s really easy.
Wrist point – And I choose to take action.
Top of the head – Whether it’s hard or easy. Because I can do that. And social ease, and connecting with others is worth it.
Feeling safe being myself is worth a little bit of effort.
It’s worth a lot of effort.
And I’m the kind of person who persists and does the work.
Deep breath. Relax.
Well, good question. Thank you. I wish I could pronounce your name but I think it’s Russian. It has letters that I don’t recognize so I can’t really say it. Anyway, thanks for your question. Good question.
Now, if you’re watching this 30-Day Challenge, (drumroll) is going to happen on the first of January. Make sure you don’t miss out this is going to be a profoundly transformational experience. And it’s going to really knock your socks off, it’s going to be even better than the previous two. And people that went through that that it was even better than years of therapy.
Now that’s a big thing to say. And I’m not dissing therapy at all. That’s just what they reported.
That’s not for everyone. But there are lots and lots of comments from people who made profound transformations in those 30 days. And even the people that didn’t complete all the 30 days reported profound transformations.
It’s very simple. It’s just 20 minutes a day, on average. Sometimes it’s even less.
It’s a simple email that is empowering. That makes you feel good that helps you understand your psychology, that helps you understand why you’re suffering, why nothing has worked in the past. And there’s a short video like this one where you follow along, do some simple tapping, and it all builds on each other.
So, I start at the beginning, and I layer it so it all starts to make sense. It’s very, very empowering. You’re going to love it.
To sign up for that if you haven’t already go to bit.ly/socialconfidencechallenge
One of the techniques you’re going to learn about is EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques), a scientifically proven to be an effective technique and in this video here, I‘ve talked about the science behind it because there’s lots of scientific evidence backing up its effectiveness. Randomized control trials, five meta-analyses, the works.
It’s amazing and it will rock your world and you’ll be guided through it so you know what it is.
Without further ado, go to bit.ly/socialconfidencechallenge and I’ll connect with you soon. Bye for now.