SUMMARY
People who are struggling with Social Anxiety often feels unloved, unworthy, and unacceptable to their society.
But that is not what it is.
It is not your environment that judges you about yourself…
But rather, it is YOU.
And in this episode, watch Sebastiaan as he shares with you a counterintuitive way to get more people to like you.
FULL TRANSCRIPTION
In today’s video, I’m going to share with you the counterintuitive way to get more people to like you.
What if the fear of people not liking you…
… is a learned fear? Something you’re not born with.
And what if I told you that neutralizing this fear not only boosts your self-esteem and your self-acceptance, but it actually gets more people to like you.
Would that make you think I’m a liar?
Hey! It’s Seb from Social Anxiety Solutions – where we combine the best of Traditional Psychology with Energy Psychology to completely overcome your Social Anxiety.
Unless you’re new to my channel, you know that I’m a former Social Anxiety sufferer.
What you might not know is that I dealt with this fear of people not liking me for over 2 decades.
And while that fear seemed to be the real problem, it was actually what was underneath it – that was the real problem.
I DIDN’T LIKE ME!
I struggled massively with self-acceptance.
And this was what was feeding the fear in the first place…
… THIS WAS THE DEEPEST ISSUE.
Now, I thought I liked myself and there were quite a bunch of things that I didn’t like about myself. But there were lots of things that I really didn’t like about myself.
If people mocked me, I couldn’t laugh at it.
I cringed if someone that I thought was cooler, or funnier, or he’s somehow above me, would challenge me, I would freeze completely.
If attractive women were in the room, my heart would start to raise, my anxiety would go through the roof.
If I was criticized publicly, I would blush.
If I was around people that I thought were superior to me, I felt inferior, and I would become quiet and reserved, and… nothing.
And this then led to all sorts of avoidance and problems in my life.
And while I couldn’t do anything about this, in the moment, these emotions would just overtake me – I really judged myself for it.
I thought of myself as “pathetic” – that I was dealing with these insecurities.
I was deeply ashamed of my blushing.
I thought that my fear and anxiety made me a weakling, a loser, a boy, not a real man, which really made me super hard on myself – I really hated this about myself.
And this self-rejection, this self-judgment, only made my shame, my insecurity, and my fears grow.
It was a negative cycle that I was in and it also caused me to behave in ways that evoked rejection from others.
I was trying way too hard to be cool and to be considered laid back, and an interesting funny dude.
And I was really just desperate for their approval and for their acceptance.
And it was this neediness that actually led to a lot more rejection.
Now, the problem with all of this was that I was having an outside-in strategy.
I was looking for the outside to fix my inside.
I was focusing on behaving cool and calm, and laid back so that they would accept me.
I was aiming to get the approval and acceptance from others rather than aiming to give it to myself.
What actually needed to happen was a shift in strategy: I needed to shift my strategy to accepting myself (all of myself), regardless of what others thought of me.
I had to accept my blushing.
I had to accept that I had, indeed, massive insecurities, and that I couldn’t talk to a girl to save my life, and that it wasn’t possible and that I wasn’t capable of behaving in the way that I desired to behave, and being the man that I want it to be, that I wasn’t there yet.
I had to come to terms with the fact that I had some serious issues going on, and that I wasn’t as cool and calm, and collected as I had hoped to be.
I had to come to terms with the fact that I was flawed, that I had weaknesses, and that I was imperfect…
… and this was very, very challenging to do.
But slowly but surely, with the help of my mentoring coach, and the use of the powerful Energy Psychology techniques, I managed to come to terms with the status quo.
Understanding trauma helped a lot and applying techniques to neutralize negative emotions helped a ton.
And as time passed, I began to accept my excessive negative emotions and no longer judge myself for it.
I began to accept that I had issues and problems, and come to terms with it.
And I began to accept that I had weaknesses and imperfections.
And as I began truly liking myself, I started anticipating that others would like me too, and now I no longer desperately sought their approval and their acceptance.
Instead, I felt safe being my true self, all parts of me.
I no longer had to hide something or hold something back, which resulted in a much better vibe.
And that vibe in turn caused a lot more people to like and accept me just for who I really was.
So, how do you get people to like you:
- Focus on the inside.
- Change your attitude towards yourself
- Start accepting ALL OF YOU
… all parts of you including the emotions that you don’t like, including your difficult behaviors, including the limitations that you have in your life.
Start accepting everything, come to terms with everything, and start to like YOU.
ALL OF YOU.
This will change your vibe and the outside world, other people will start to reacting kind.
Now if you want to be guided through a powerful EFT Tapping Sequence to reduce this fear of people not liking you to boost your self-acceptance, check out this video – What If They Don’t Like Me? (How to Fix This Fear), and I suggest you check out the whole video.
But if you’d like to fast forward to the technique, go to minute number 13.
Go check it out right now and boost your self-acceptance, and reduce that fear.
Talk to you very soon. Bye for now!
If you experience Social Anxiety, click below to receive the FREE “7 Secrets to Social Confidence” Mini Course!
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