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We live in a situation where we want to make everything #FAST.
We want to have a quick fix.
We want to make #progress fast.
We want to rush everything.
But in doing so, are we making progress at all?
The quick answer is NO.
And in this episode, I’ll be discussing how small changes can give you significant progress.
And overcoming your Social Anxiety is a #Journey.
And it is a journey of a lot of little steps.
Would you go on that journey?
If your answer is yes, then go check out my website and register for my FREE Social Confidence Starter Kit.
Your journey starts now.
What if you could reduce 50% of your social anxiety in six months with only 10 -15 minutes a day of effort that you can do mostly from the comfort of your own home.
Would you do it?
That’s the question.
Because most people are looking for a quick fix, they’re looking for an instant fix, and they don’t understand the power of little changes every day because they start to add up.
This is what I want to talk about today.
I started out creating these videos in 2009. Look up my first video, and you’ll see how funny I looked.
Back then, I thought, “Wow, I need to impress people with the power of tapping; I need to demonstrate real, big changes instantly. Because people are looking for quick fixes. So, I need to provide the quick fixes.”
Because otherwise, people disregarded it, and they just think of tapping as “Oh, it’s a nice relaxation tool, and nothing more than that.”
Then, maybe four years ago, or five years ago, I put out my first video testimonial of one of my clients who overcame his social anxiety.
And that video testimonial, Tavon, you can look it up on my channel under the playlist. You’ll find many, many other video testimonials as well, overcame his social anxiety in three sessions.
And that was profound! And you can hear him talk about the transformation. You can see how excited he is. You know that this is genuine and all the rest of it.
But it set the stage for people to think, “oh, it’s just going to take three sessions.”
But that’s not true. That’s not the case.
For one that was doing one on one work with me and I specialize in this, I had this myself, and I spent a fortune being able to do this. And that’s different.
Now to contrast that video, the second video testimonial that I put out, which is actually turned into a podcast later, with Saluwa — that was 26 sessions over a year and a half.
Huge difference. Three weeks versus a year and a half.
So, is it not all supposed to be the same?
No, it’s not!
Everyone’s history is different.
And so, it just takes as long as it takes.
That’s why I talk about the social confidence journey.
You go from Social Anxiety to social confidence. And it takes a whole bunch of little steps. It’s a journey of a lot of little steps.
And that’s what I want to talk about — these little steps, these little changes
We live in this instant gratification all or nothing; give me what I want; stop suffering now, feel happy now, take this pill, and my problem should be resolved — society.
That’s not how success in this particular area works.
Rather, it’s a lot of little pieces of effort.
A lot of little bits of relief every day over a period of time.
Now, a little bit of relief can mean: “I had had this meeting at work. I feel really bad about it. I come home. I still feel very upset about it. I decided to do some tapping. And I tapped for 15 minutes. Whereas normally, I’d be beating myself up for days. Now, I calmed myself down to the point where it didn’t bother me so much anymore. It still bothered me a bit, but not so much anymore.”
That’s a relief!
That’s making progress!
That reduces your problem a tiny bit.
Maybe, in the grand scheme of things, it only reduces it by half a percent.
But you do that ten times over three months. You just improved your social anxiety by 5% or reduced your social anxiety by 5%.
Another example: You are anxious in anticipation of a particular social event. And your anxiety is a 9/10.
You decide to do some tapping on it. You sit down for 15 minutes. You tap on your worries, your things, your negative expectations, the worst-case scenarios, and you notice the motions in your body, and you tap, and you just do it 15 minutes.
Now, you don’t actually get all of the anxiety down to 0 but say you get it to a 5.
That’s from a 9 to 5.
That’s a much better experience.
It still sucks.
And you can get it to zero, but I’m just giving you an example.
So, you get it to a five, that’s, again, that’s good progress.
When you do that, say, again, period of three months, you do that ten times, again half a percent each time.
Now, that adds up! So, now you’ve improved your social anxiety by 10%, you’ve reduced it by 10%.
And all it took was 20 times of sitting down for 15 minutes.
Now, there are many, many other little examples of how you can make progress.
You can tap on beliefs.
You can tap on emotions.
You can tap on the feelings about your social anxiety.
There are lots of lots of little things that you can tap on.
But people are looking for the big, massive changes.
“I tapped, and now my social anxiety doesn’t exist anymore in this situation.”
In fact, it happens most of the time when I do a coaching session with a client.
But that’s 90 minutes of working with a client, where the client just shows up with their problem. And I am the coach.
This is not the pimp my coaching because I’m not available for one on one coaching. This is just to explain to you the process.
I’ve been doing this for 11 years.
I’ve invested a fortune in doing this.
I have received many, many coaching sessions myself.
I really understand this process.
So, that’s very, very different than doing 15 minutes of tapping by yourself.
If I work with someone for 90 minutes. Yes, they might start out with getting triggered by their boss 9/10. And at the end of the session, that’s not a problem anymore, and it will for the rest of their life no longer be a problem because we resolve the root cause of that.
But that’s very different.
And that’s 90 minutes.
But if you do 15 minutes. Say, you have the same example, you feel really anxious around your boss. And it’s a 9/10.
Okay, you do 15 minutes of tapping on that on Monday. And you might get it from a 9 to a 7.
Okay, and you go out, and you go to work, and you find that it’s a tiny bit better – Okay, great!
Next time you do it again, and you again get a little bit of relief.
And again, you get a little bit of relief.
It might take you a whole month of little pieces of little bits of relief.
But how much is that worth to go from super anxious around your boss to being comfortable around your boss?
See, people are ignoring the little changes, and they’re looking for the big, massive breakthroughs.
Well, the big massive breakthroughs they come. But they come as a result of a lot of little changes over time.
This is a journey of a lot of little steps.
So, appreciate the little changes; the little drops in your intensity; the little pieces of feeling more calm; the little sensations of *deep breath* I feel a bit more relief about that, or I don’t take that too seriously anymore. Or, okay, I feel a little bit less scared. Or I feel a little bit less ashamed. Or this doesn’t bother me so much anymore.
And notice all of these little changes.
“Hey, this used to upset me big time. And now it doesn’t. Wow!”
People are looking for. They are looking at, “this is where I want to be effortless social ease and enjoy myself social situations, connect with others, go outdoor and enjoy myself, don’t even think about how am I going to do? What am I going to do? Just relax, enjoy myself, connect with friends, have a great social life, look forward to socializing and all the rest of it.”
That’s what they want. And that’s what you can have.
But don’t look at that and say “I don’t have that yet. And so I still have this problem. So, all the progress that I’ve made doesn’t count – No.
Look at where you want to go and keep you focused on that.
That’s your vision.
That’s what you’re going to work.
But appreciate all of the little changes that you’re making. And notice them and acknowledge them. Because when you do, it keeps you going. You’re like, “oh, maybe a little bit of progress there.”
And a little bit of progress counts.
I was in the gym the other day. And on the top of the wall, it said:
“Slow progress is better than no progress.”
And I think to myself, yes, that applies to the journey to social confidence as well.
If you are fat, overweight, out of shape, and so on, you go to the gym, you do a 30-minute workout, if you can even keep up with that. You’re kind of come out of the gym, and you’re still going to look the same, there’s not much going to be better. And it’s probably going to be quite difficult for the first few weeks, especially to motivate yourself.
But if you do it for three weeks, you’re going to see some improvement.
You’re going to feel some improvement.
You’re going to look a little bit better, feel a little bit better, have a bit more energy, have a little bit more motivation because you’re noticing changes.
It’s the same in this area.
But are you going to do it?
That’s the question.
It’s easier to put on Netflix.
It’s easier to distract yourself on your phone or do whatever.
Come up with excuses.
But when you actually do this work, and you commit to 15 minutes a day, things are going to change.
And if you do 15 minutes a day for six months, your whole life is going to be much improved in many, many different areas.
I hope this is helpful for you.
Small changes. Appreciate them. Acknowledge them. Celebrate them. Record them. Keep a journal of them.
All the little changes you make.
Little shifts and changes.
I hope this is helpful and they support you in your journey to social confidence. If you want to get more assistance on your journey to social confidence, go to www.social-anxiety-solutions.com and click on the overcome social anxiety tab, you get a free social confidence starter kit where I teach you a bit of the tapping; tell you how I overcame my social anxiety. I will send you messages of support, messages of insight, messages of how to overcome your social anxiety faster, how to stop suffering, etc.
Go check it out www.social-anxiety-solutions.com, and I’ll connect with you very soon.
Bye for now.