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I’m sharing some perspective when you’re having a crappy problem.
I’m sharing from my own experience exactly what I do when I encounter life’s painful issues.
This way will give you tools to turn things around, chip away at the problem, and then finally to step away from it.
When you’re having a tough time, I recommend you come back to this video for some perspective and consider the recommended actions to shift things around.
Sebastiaan: Hello, this is Sebastiaan from social-anxiety-solutions.com. I’m a former disorder sufferer and social confidence coach. I shoot these videos and I tell things about social anxiety and the journey of change and transformation. I have a podcast as well, Social Anxiety Solutions and I do all bunch of other stuff.
Anyway, today I’m going to talk about something a bit more personal. Why? Because I’m right in the middle of it so I thought it would be a good time for it.
While social anxiety is not a problem in anymore in my life that doesn’t mean that I don’t have any problems anymore in my life unfortunately. Problems are part of life and how you deal with them and your mindset around them makes all the difference in terms of your life quality. Right now, I’m dealing with something crappy. Right now, I feel quite sad and disappointed, it’s not really good but hey, it’s alright, it’s okay to feel these feelings. I allow myself to feel them and have a bid of a lonely day or cry if it comes out.
I’ve got this crappy situation and I just wanted to talk a little bit about how I’m dealing with it. First of all, I wrote everything down on paper. There was a lot going on, so I just did a massive brain dump. I sat down behind my laptop and I just wrote, and I wrote, and I wrote, and I wrote to my mentor. If you don’t have a mentor, you can just write and write and write to get all of the crap out of your head on a piece of paper.
That in and of itself already kind of helps you get some distance from it.
Then after that I wrote a few things down to keep perspective. I have a journal and I write in that every single day. I write gratitude lists in there, I write things that are going well in my life, I write goals in there, I write in there why I will achieve these goals and I do that always before going to bed. That’s at least when I do it, but I also do it and when I go to the coffee shop and sit down. I think about new things that I want to do in my life or goals that I want to accomplish or where I want to move or where I’m going to dance salsa or whatever. Just like daydreaming and putting things to paper.
There’s lots of value in actually putting things to paper. What I wrote down yesterday in the middle of the crappy situation is just some things that are true for me that are quite general statements.
I wrote down everything is happening for me. There’s this idea like life is against me or things are not working out for me but there’s another perspective it’s kind of like a spiritual perspective that is like “Hey, anything that’s happening is making me stronger preparing me for the next stage for the evolution of your spirit if you will”. I wrote down everything is happening for me. Next thing I wrote down is “This will evolve me”. The other thing I wrote down is I don’t feel guilty this time because in the past I’ve felt guilty of similar situation.
Next thing I wrote down was “David will help me”. Dr. David Lake my mentor. Next thing I wrote down “Clarity will eventually be there”. Next thing I wrote down, “I don’t have to make any decisions right now”. Next thing I write down, “Tomorrow I’m back in Bali dancing salsa”. Just those general statements kind of helped me feel bit better. I’m like “Okay, well, yeah, I’ve got some perspective here, this is this good”.
Then I send off that email to my mentor and booked the session and tomorrow I’m meeting with my mentor and this will be discussed. Now I’m in the taxi right now driving to the airport.
I just did a bit of tapping on the feelings that I had, and the stronger excessive feelings have reduced a bit. Still I don’t feel super great but at least I feel a bit better. I have a bit more perspective, I’ve written things down and so now I’m allowing myself to feel my feelings and whatever I can’t address myself right now that’s what I’ll deal with my mentor.
That’s it. That’s quite a little raw brief video without going too much into what the actual situation is. Just to give you an idea of how I deal with these kinds of things. As you can see sometimes you can’t immediately get full resolution on a particular issue because this is like a recurring issue in my life that I’m chipping away at.
Just like I’ve chipped away at my social anxiety until it was no longer there, I’m chipping away at this issue until it’s no longer there and until I have the outcome that I’m looking for because it’s a matter of step by step by step by step by step.
Sometimes you have an issue and it shifts in 15 minutes. And sometimes an issue shifts in three weeks and sometimes you have an issue like this one and it takes years and it can be quite crappy but it’s alright, it’s part of the journey, it’s part of life. There you go. I hope it’s been helpful.
I’m arriving at Don Mueang International Airport. I’m going to get a coffee and watch some funny videos on YouTube and get myself into a bit of a playful mood because from a playful mood everything kind of looks better, life isn’t all that serious, there’s nothing too serious going on here.
Thanks for watching this. My next video will be a lot less depressing I’m sure and thanks for being here, thanks for being on the path as well doing some good thing and I’ll talk to you soon. Bye for now.