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When you first learned about how EFT tapping can help you overcome your Social Anxiety, what were your expectations?
In this episode, Sebastiaan will be talking about how to help you prevent unrealistic expectations on how long will it take for you to overcome your Social Anxiety.
While it is true that some people only take months to overcome their Social Anxiety…
…for most people, their journey is longer.
But either you are on the short path, or the longer path, the most important thing is that you are making progress. 😉
Are you accepting the struggle that you’re dealing with?
Hey! My name is Sebastiaan, I am from social-anxiety-solutions.com.
I’m a former Social Anxiety Disorder sufferer and a Social Confidence Coach.
And I run a Social Confidence Club – where I guide a big group of people with Social Anxiety on their journey from Social Anxiety to Social Ease.
And we do surveys every 2-3 months to get feedback from our members to see,
We did an end-of-the-year survey that I just went over with our team.
And one of the questions that we asked was, “What was most difficult for you last year?”
And 1 person wrote something along the lines of: “Dealing with the fact that it wasn’t as easy as I thought it would be.”
And this person wrote that, “When I first found the tapping, I thought, okay, great, I’m just going to be done with this Social Anxiety by just tapping on a couple of key events. And in a few months from now, my problem will be gone.”
And what he writes instead is, “I had really unrealistic expectations for a long time , that I should’ve tapped away all my anxiety within only a couple of months.
I know that’s true for some people, but I had no guidance. And that personally wasn’t the case for me. I needed much longer than that.
I wish I would’ve understood that sooner because that carried into 2021 too. Just being easier on myself with this whole process in general, and not being in such a rush.”
So I’m making this little video for you to help prevent what this person went through.
Also, that person had unrealistic expectations in terms of how long it was going to take to overcome their Social Anxiety.
And the person was like, “I’m just going to take a couple of months.”
But you don’t know how long it’s going to take.
And yes, it’s true that for some people, it just takes a couple of months…
… but that’s not in my experience.
The reality for most people – for most people, this is a journey that is longer and it’s a journey of a lot of little steps.
And most people think in a way about it that’s unhelpful.
They think, “Oh, it’s black or white, it’s on or off. It’s either Social Anxiety, or no Social Anxiety.”
But there are lots of lots of stages in between:
… massive difference in terms of your life quality.
How long is it going to take to overcome your Social Anxiety?
You don’t know.
But that should not be your question. Your question shouldn’t be: “How long is this going to take?”
Your question should be: “What can I do today to make some progress? What can I do today to make a little bit of relief?”
Because your journey is going to take as long as it takes.
It might be 3 months. It might be 3 years. You don’t know.
And PROGRESS = HAPPINESS is what Tony Robbins says, and that’s true.
When you are making progress, when you’re noticing, “Hey, I feel less anxious. Hey, I feel a bit more comfortable there.” – that progress will keep you going.
It’s what kept me going.
And eventually, you’re going to run out of aspects that make up the problem.
Your problem has a certain amount of aspects – a certain amount of smaller parts that make up the bigger problem.
And eventually, you’ve worked through all of them, and then there is no Social Anxiety anymore.
But how long that takes, don’t compare yourself to other people.
You’ll find out, just keep going.
Be unattached to the duration.
Be committed to the journey.
Hope that’s helpful.
And when you find yourself being really attached to, “Well, it should be this way, and I shouldn’t be suffering.” – that’s what you want to tap on.
Okay, and I won’t go into that this time. But a good idea would be:
Beginning of the eyebrows: I shouldn’t be suffering.
Side of the eyes: I shouldn’t be dealing with this.
Under the eyes: Why am I dealing with this?
Under the nose: It’s unfair.
Your feelings about the fact that you’re dealing with it and how long it’s going to take:
“It should be faster, I shouldn’t be dealing with it.”
In other words, look for your ‘should’ thoughts with regards to the journey from Social Anxiety to Social Ease, and tap to neutralize those ‘should’ thoughts because they’re just thoughts that have emotion connected to them.
By tapping on them, that emotion will begin to dissolve, and then it’s just a thought.
And you’ll start to feel lighter,
And you start to feel calmer,
And you start to feel more at ease in the present with the problem that you still have,
And that decreases your suffering significantly.
It may very well also do something good for your Social Anxiety in general.
Hope this is helpful. This is Sebastiaan from Social Anxiety Solutions.
Talk to you very soon. Bye for now!