SUMMARY
In this post, I’m sharing why therapy is cool.
Let’s eliminate the stigma that getting help is a bad thing. It’s cool and I’m sharing why.
Also, I’m sharing a hilarious comedy clip to have a little fun and illustrate the point.
So, break the stigma, embrace therapy as a good thing, and find an awesome therapist to start your own personal growth and transformation to overcome social anxiety once and for all.
FULL TRANSCRIPTION
Sebastiaan: Hi, my name is Sebastiaan van der Schrier. I’m a former social anxiety disorder sufferer and a social confidence coach. I help people go from social anxiety to feel calm and relaxed and at ease in social situations so you can have a good time, connect with people, enjoy yourself and look forward to social situations and all that good stuff.
I have a podcast where I interview psychotherapists, coaches, healers, researchers best-selling authors, psychologists for their best social anxiety solutions and I’m the creator of the first-ever online social confidence community.
Now, in this video I’m going to talk about why therapy is cool. Now before I actually start riffing on that I wanted to share with you this hilarious clip from a really great stand-up comedians, just a minute long. I am not sure if it is as funny as I find it because I saw the first 12 minutes prior to it but I think it’s still quite funny. Here we go.
Comedy Clip
Mark Normand – Comedy – 9/12/2018 – Paste Studios – New York, NY
I don’t know. It’s just too dark, I’m just you know, dark guy, I guess. I’m a grown up you know, I’m in therapy doing this thing called cognitive therapy. That’s where you face your fears. If you are scared of heights, he takes you to a hot-air-balloon. If you are scared of drowning, he takes you in the ocean. So, he said what are you scared of Mark? So, I’m claustrophobic and scared of intimacy. So, he took me into a little closet and fucked me. It’s very expensive. I don’t get the stigma with therapy it’s good for you. I think it should be mandatory. Everybody works out their muscles, why not work out your emotions? I’ll be hanging out with a friend, he’s like alright man take it easy, I’m going to go work on arms and back. I’m like cool I’m going to work on letting go of the past and accepting love. Everybody loves the gym and the gym makes me feel sexy. Well, you know what else is sexy? Not being a walking red flag. Nobody cares about your abs if you’re the guy having a meltdown at Red Lobster. I think people respect the gyms is like a culture behind any like gym rats. They have t-shirts that say, “Beast mode” and “Better sore than sorry”. Therapy people we need t-shirts, we need shirts that says, “No dad, no problem” or like “Can’t stop, won’t stop crying”. All right, thanks a lot. I’m Kevin Hart have a good night.
Sebastiaan: All right, I hope you love that like I did. He takes a little stab at cognitive therapy in a hilarious way which I like because I’m not the biggest fan of cognitive therapy. I specialize in combining traditional therapy with Eastern energy therapy.
Breaking the Therapy Stigma
However, I do agree with him that therapy is great and maybe it goes a bit too far to actually have t-shirts with the text that he suggests on it. But I don’t get the stigma about therapy either and why I don’t get it is because I’ve been in therapy or I am in therapy or I have spent 10 years of my life working with therapists. Even though I’m a personal coach and not a therapist I understand the therapy process very well. My mentor is a psychotherapist with three decades of experience and he’s a therapist to a therapist. I’ve been working with a coach for 10 years almost working week in week out and it has helped me so tremendously that I have a massive appreciation for therapy and therapy is cool. Why is it so cool?
And the stigma is just stupid, it’s just one of these things, everyone says that when you’re in therapy you’re fucked up and you’re a mess and it’s something to look down upon someone who has therapy because he’s weak or he’s pathetic or he has issues. That’s such a dumb judgment, that’s a really dumb judgment.
Someone who goes into therapy realizes that he has some issues that he can’t resolve on his own that he needs to get help for. It doesn’t mean that he’s weak, it means that he is smart because he realizes “There’s something that’s not functioning well here. I want to be able to function properly in the world so I’m going to get a therapist and I’m gonna get the assistance that I need in order for me to function in the way that I want”.
Why Therapy is Cool
I realized early on in life that the problems that I was having was because of my inner psychology and if I would shift and change my inner psychology my problems would go away. And as a result, I would be happier, I would have more success, I would be better able to interact with people, I would have the confidence that I would want. I’d be more productive in life, I’d have better friends, I would have more respect, my career would be better.
Everything stands or falls with your psychology. Maybe not everything but I like what Tony Robbins says “85% of success is your psychology and only 15% is all the rest of it”.
It is very important to get your inner stuff working and to go to a therapist should be something that’s cool, something that should be almost mandatory.
Get yourself in order, get those things on the inside functioning properly. What is the benefit of working with a therapist?
Now there are a wide variety of therapists and some them are better than others. Just like if you ever go for a massage. I’m a bit spoiled because I live in the east and a massage is like $10 or $15 so I get them a lot.
But when I go to a new country or at least in in the past when I went to a new country, I try out a cheap massage and you get a cheap experience. So, I would walk in and there’s a brief little talk and you got sent to the room which is not a separate room but it’s a room that a whole bunch of people lying, it was just separated by a curtain. The lady is massaging me, midway to massage she’s going out to meet other customers and then she comes back, massages half fast with one hand every now and then, has a chat with her masseuse and I’m like what kind of a crap experience is this and afterwards you don’t even feel that better. I’m like, “Wow, I paid money for this? This is not good; we’re not doing that again”.
Versus when I go for a massage right now which is still super cheap $15 you come in, you get a warm greeting, there’s a nice music playing, it’s a soft and gentle environment, the colors are nice and soothing, they wash your feet then you get brought to the room everything is just tip-top in place. Then the masseuse asks you if the pressure is right, it’s a trained masseuse with a lot of experience. I come out of that and I’m like, “Wow, I feel amazing. This was fantastic”. Just $15 unbelievable.
Get a Great Therapist
The same goes for therapists. Some of them are just better than others so it might take a bit of time to find someone who’s good but when you find someone who is good oh, my God. That person is going to strengthen you from the inside, it’s going to make you be more resilient, it’s going to make you feel better about yourself, it’s going to help you to acknowledge the positive attributes and aspects and talents that you have that you can’t really do on your own.
He or she will actually be taking on an important role in your inner world as my mentor would say it and a beautiful kind of repairing thing happens. A lot of the trouble that we’re having on a day-to-day basis is a result of where our parents messed up pretty much. Not that you can blame your parents. If you do, then you bring that in therapy.
But that’s usually the case. Most of the problems that we’re dealing with are a result of the repetitive negative experiences in early childhood while who were the people closest to us or not closest to us which is actually part of the problem our parents. However, they messed up that’s what a therapist kind of helps you correct over time.
Now I talked a lot about energy psychology because when you apply that when you have a therapist who is also an energy psychologist or who also specializes in EFT tapping or uses tools like Psych-K or TAT or Logosynthesis or Intention Based Energy Process or many of the others, EMDR, it’s not really energy psychology but it’s at least a trauma processing technique.
When you have a great therapist who really loves what he does, who’s good at what he does your inner world is going to shift and change and you’re going to grow stronger, you’re going to feel better in the world and things are going to bother you less. And your social anxiety is going to have less of an effect on you.
Just talk therapy in my experience is not going to solve your social anxiety but just talk therapy is going to make you stronger, it’s going to make you more resilient, it will help you develop a better relationship with yourself, provided that you have therapist.
What you’re ideally looking for most often when you’re dealing with social anxieties is like a relational therapist, a psychotherapist something in that area.
Now if you then add energy psychology to it now you’ve got a really beautiful cocktail of something that’s going to propel your happiness, your success, your joy, your inner freedom, your confidence in life. That is something very cool.
Therapy – very cool; Stigma – we should get the hell rid of that because it’s stupid, it’s ignorant, it’s not well informed to say that. Once you actually go through it and you realize the growth that you’re making as a result of it then you’re like “Man, therapy is really cool”.
I talked about friends who are in therapy and they’re like “Yeah, this is helping me so much. I don’t know why I waited with this for so long. This is spectacular to help me tremendously in my life and my life is so much better as a result of it”. And that’s me saying to you the same thing.
All right, I hope it’s been helpful. Therapy is cool, we maybe need t-shirts with “Therapy is cool”. I might wear one, one day. Anyway, thanks for watching. If you want to see more videos like this subscribe here. I release one every Thursday and get my free social confidence starter kit where I teach you the techniques that I use to overcome my social anxiety with which I’ve helped hundreds of socially anxious clients. You can get that at the link below this video.
All right, I’ll talk to you soon. Bye-bye.
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Full video referenced can be seen here: Mark Normand – Comedy – 9/12/2018 – Paste Studios – New York, NY
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