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In this post, I’m sharing an unconventional approach to overcome your social anxiety problem.
This is a different way to approach your comfort zone. And it goes up against the mainstream face your fears type advice.
You don’t have to awkwardly face your fears only to gain temporary confidence.
You can gain real results without the pain and embarrassment of forcing yourself outside your comfort zone.
Sebastiaan: Hey, this is Sebastiaan from social-anxiety-solutions.com. I am a former social anxiety disorder sufferer and a social confidence coach. I specialize in combining Western traditional psychology with Eastern Energy Psychology. One of the main techniques that I talk about a lot in that I’ve used to overcome my own social anxiety and have helped hundreds of clients to do the same is the EFT which kind of falls under the umbrella of Energy Psychology. It’s a tapping technique, it looks really weird because you’re tapping on your face and body but what it does is release excess negative emotions.
Studies have shown that the stimulation of these acupressure points which it’s kind of like a psychological version of acupuncture said that you don’t use needles, you tap on these acupressure points, sense a little signal to the brain called the amygdala which regulates your hormones and your emotions. Studies have shown that it reduces the production of cortisol, your stress hormone and it increases the production of serotonin. These biochemical responses create a sense of calm.
You focus on a particular problem – social anxiety, you do the tapping and things will start to shift and change. Now if this is the first time you hear this you probably think I’m crazy but check out my other videos or check out my website and you’ll see that it’s the real deal. You can check the hundreds of comments.
In this video I want to give you a really quick tip. I’m going to keep it under three minutes, that’s why I’m talking so rapidly fast. The title of this video is “Stop getting outside your comfort zone”.
In mainstream self-help personal development, it’s all about “Get outside your comfort zone, outside your comfort zone that’s where the magic lies, get outside your comfort zone”. Basically, that it’s the same message that repeats itself over and over. In other words, you got to face your fears. You got to do what you’re uncomfortable with and then you become comfortable with what you’re uncomfortable with.
That’s generally great advice. It’s how you grow. You can’t grow by staying inside your comfort zone. I fully agree with that. However, there’s a smarter approach than getting outside your comfort zone to grow. There’s a smarter approach then just forcing yourself to go outside your comfort zone and then trying to survive and especially when it comes to social anxiety because if you force yourself outside your comfort zone and you don’t do it in an intelligent way and you’ve probably experienced this then you might just find that it’s very awkward and you don’t get much out of it other than the temporary confidence boost that will leave you soon after you forced yourself to be outside your comfort zone.
What you can do instead is you can look at “Well, why is it that this is so far outside my comfort zone?” If for example starting a new hobby is so far outside your comfort zone and it really scares the shit out of you then there’s a reason for that and you can ask yourself “Why is this so scary to me? What’s so dangerous about this? What is so risky for me about doing this thing?” You might come up with “Well, I might look foolish, I’m going to make mistakes, people will make fun of me”. Whatever. Then say that it is “I’m afraid I’m going to look silly or I’m afraid I’m going to look awkward”.
Then you can look at “Alright, why is this a bigger deal for me than for other people?” Then you can go back and you will likely find that you’ve had experiences in the past where you looked uncomfortable, where you were awkward, where you were made fun of and these reference experiences is what your brain is using to predict how that new experience that you’re about to go into is going to go.
What you can do with this silly little tapping tool is you can go back to these reference experiences and neutralize the negative emotions there and change the learning that you got from that reference experience. Your brain won’t use that reference experience any longer to predict how you’re going to feel in the future.
Then instead of going outside your comfort zone, you’re actually expanding your comfort zone because now thinking about starting that new hobby isn’t so awkward and upsetting and fearful for you anymore. As a result, you can then go do that thing, notice “Hey, I can handle this” and that expands your comfort zone and you get real-life evidence that you can handle it because you’re comfortable in that situation. Much more efficient way of going about things then forcing yourself to face your fears.
Alright, I hope it’s been helpful. My name is Sebastiaan van der Schrier. Check out my free social confidence starter kit where I teach you this silly-looking tapping technique to reduce your social anxiety and in fact you can get rid of it completely. Just with this starter kit you can already start reducing it today.
You can go check that out at social-anxiety-solutions.com and click on the overcome social anxiety tab that you find there or just click on the link below this video if you’re watching this as a video.
Alright, thanks. That’s it for now and I’ll talk to you soon. Subscribe, I’ll release video like this every Thursday. Bye for now.