SUMMARY
Do you identify yourself with having a #socialanxiety problem?
Do you continuously refer to yourself as “me with my #socialanxietyproblem”?
Well, acknowledging that you have it is part of the process of overcoming it.
But, when you continuously talk about it, does it actually helps?
Learn more by watching today’s episode.
If you want to overcome your social anxiety as quickly as possible, without having to forcefully face your fears, check out my FREE Social Anxiety Starter Kit by going to: bit.ly/socialconfidencenow
FULL TRANSCRIPTION
Hey, this is Sebastiaan from social-anxiety-solutions.com.
I’m a former Social Anxiety Disorder sufferer and I want to help you today with giving you a warning.
All right, what’s the warning?
I run an online community. It’s called the Social Confidence Club. In that club, I’ve seen a few people write something. It’s meant in quite a friendly way, but it is referring to “us” as “socially anxious people have X problem. This always happens to me – this social anxiety problem that I have. I struggle with this because I have social anxiety.”
It’s a lot of identification with the problem with social anxiety – and that’s a problem.
The warning is that that actually perpetuates the negative image of yourself – that you have the one that you do not want to have. Unless you want to stay socially anxious, which I’m presuming you do not want to remain.
Therefore, you want to change that because I’m going to paraphrase the following.
Tony Robbins says something along the lines of:
“The strongest force in the human psyche is the need to remain consistent with our identity, with how we define ourselves, with how we see ourselves with our self-image; our thinking and behavior flows from that now.”
Since that’s the case when you continue to talk about…
“Us as socially anxious people”
“My social anxiety problem”
“I’m a socially anxious person”
You keep perpetuating that identity of a socially anxious person and that image of yourself as a person that suffers from social anxiety.
Now, at the moment you are challenged with that problem. But, you’re in the process of working through that, you’re in the process of overcoming it. It’s not who you are. It’s not the defined state of being. It’s a temporary challenge that you’re dealing with. It becomes a consistent problem when you see yourself internally as a socially anxious person.
This in a way nitpicking, but this nitpicking is important. Every time you confirm to yourself “us as socially anxious people” and “I with my social anxiety problem”, then you are confirming that what you already believe.
Instead, you want to start bringing doubt to that self-image or to that identity of a socially anxious person. You naturally begin to doubt it. As you start doing this inner work and you start noticing, “Hey, I was anxious in that situation before and now I’m not anxious. Wow, I’ve changed my inner wiring and my outside world starts to reflect that change.”, then you start seeing “Okay, so maybe it’s not me. It’s just this wiring that I’ve got going on.”
Also, when you understand how your past the repetitive experiences, your traumatic experiences, and the beliefs and patterns that were formed as a result of those, which then has caused this activation of Fight-Flight-Freeze response and is resulting in you experiencing anxiety.
That also helps you to see “Wow, this is this is not who I am.” Knowing that you’re not born as a socially anxious baby also helps. They’re whole bunch of things that help break up that idea.
Talking in yourself, talking to yourself, referring to yourself as “me with my social anxiety problem”, and referring to a particular group that you’re part of as “us socially anxious crowd’, that does the opposite of what you want. It confirms the socially anxious identity that we do not want to do.
Hope this is helpful, little tidbit. I release videos like this every Thursday.
If this is helpful for you, then subscribe and hit the bell so you get notified.
I’ll connect with you very soon. Bye for now. I hope you enjoyed that.
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