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Positive affirmations are simple and great to use for self improvement. That is if you know how to use them properly. A lot of people complain they don’t work… And that is because they use them wrongly!
I have studied affirmations quite a bit and I’ve used them efficiently for years. I like to show you what they are, how they work and how to use them for yourself in a way that gets amazing results.
What positive affirmations do is they change the tapes that are playing in your mind. They change the negative thinking and eventually the negative beliefs you have.
An affirmation is a statement that you create that you continuously affirm to yourself until you believe it to be true. Once this is the case your new belief changes how you perceive reality.
This is dictionary.com’s explanation:
“Something that is affirmed; a statement or proposition that is declared to be true”
Well, studies have shown that people have around 50 000 thoughts per day.
These are positive thoughts (boy, do I enjoy doing this!), neutral thoughts (Is that the doorbell ringing?) and negative thoughts (boy, does this suck…). The negative thoughts come from your negative / irrational beliefs.
These negative/irrational beliefs are formed somewhere in your past because of some event that happened to you or something that has been said to you by someone who you saw as an authority (a parent, a teacher etc).
You then affirmed that it was true and you started to believe it. Since you affirmed it to be true, your mind has formed a belief out of it so you wouldn’t have to think about it anymore (your mind was trying to make life easier for you).
You found more and more evidence of the new belief in the world and therefore the belief has strengthened.
An example (exaggerated and oversimplified to make the point):
You’re in primary school and you’re smitten with Bobby/Betty. You decide to write a cute little note that says “Do you like me yes/no – tick the box“.
You pass it on to one of your friends and instruct to give it to Bobby/Betty. When Bobby/Betty gets the note he/she laughs viciously, ticks the box on “no” and gives the note back to you.
You are upset and think to yourself boys/girls don’t like me, I‘m not good enough. On top of that the bully of the class has seen the whole scenario play out and instructs the whole class to tease you that boys/girls don’t like you.
You then affirm this to be true and form the irrational belief (Irrational because it was only one boy/girl that didn‘t like you and for all you know his/her girl/boy-friend book was full!) boys/girls don’t like me.
Now you carry this belief with you in your life and every time you try to get somewhere with the opposite sex you are afraid of getting shut down again.
Because you’re nervous this happens and you strengthen that belief. Or you don’t even try because your negative thinking caused by your irrational belief prevents you from taking action.
This belief forms negative thoughts. Long story short, this is where positive affirmations come into play.
What you do is you form a positive affirmation that is the exact opposite and you start repeating this to yourself. You affirm that the exact opposite is true as long is necessary until you believe it.
Your mind doesn’t care if what you are saying is true. In the beginning , when you start with your positive affirmations your mind is like “No this is not true!”, “nonsense” etc.
But if you keep at it your mind will start believing the positive affirmations and will form a new, positive belief.
Once this happens it causes you to have positive thoughts when you are about to talk to the opposite sex. Because hey, you believe that they will like you and that you are good enough!
First of all, for your affirmations to work they have to be:
If you follow these 5 rules your affirmations are ready to be used!
I make a list of 10 things in my life that is currently true that I don’t like.
Examples could be:
Once I have my list of 10 I write the exact opposite of what is currently true. These will become my positive affirmations.
So the opposite then becomes:
When my list is finished I go over the list of positive affirmations every morning when I wake up, and every evening just before I go to bed (so that my unconscious mind can work on them when I sleep).
And I then pick one affirmation to focus on as much as possible throughout the day. I just keep repeating it inside my head throughout the day. Until I start noticing it everywhere…
I pick the one that I want to become true the most first. After a while when I feel this positive affirmation being more and more true I switch to another one.
So create an affirmation that states that affirmations work. “I believe in affirmations, affirmations absolutely work” will do the trick.
By using emotion the positive affirmations show up on the radar of your subconscious mind. By using emotion, passion and conviction the subconscious mind accepts the statement more rapidly.
As a last thing about positive affirmations I’d like to say this…
Keep repeating them. In the beginning it’s fun and exciting, but after a while it gets boring and annoying. This is how it’s supposed to be. This is the turn-over point. This is where your brain is like “OK, OK I give up! I will start believing this!”
Only change your affirmations when they have become true already. If you don’t see any improvement after say 4-6 weeks there’s probably something wrong with your affirmation (or how you use them). Go over the above tips again and adjust where necessary.
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