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Overcoming social anxiety can only be achieved once you make it an absolute must for yourself. I’m talking about making it your number one priority in life for a while.
If it is a should for you right now, like it’s been for me in the beginning as well, you will only make minimal progress. If any at all…
This article will explain to you why you have to make it a must. I will show you how a should will only get you so far. I’ll share my personal story and will give you the psychology behind this principle.
At the end of the article I will give the steps to making overcoming social anxiety a must for yourself by following some simple exercises. By doing these exercises you will create the right mindset and motivation to achieve social confidence in the fastest way possible.
You are probably wondering if “making overcoming social anxiety a must” is really such a big deal.
Well, it is!
It has to do with your motivation. And without the right mindset, the properly motivated mindset, you will give up before you make any real progress.
In life everybody gets what they must have. Not what they should have. We simply get what we have to have, it’s the nature of human beings.
If you have to be socially confident, you will find a way. If you should, or you’d like to, you’ll get it if it’s convenient. Or if it shows up by luck. Which is about the same percentage of change you have of winning the lottery…
I’m preaching here to make overcoming social anxiety an absolute must for yourself for a reason. I do so because:
I remember telling myself:
“I really should overcome this insecurity I have. I really would like to feel confident like others“.
(Back then I didn’t know what I was suffering from, not to mention having figured out the right solutions for it)
This didn’t motivate me all too much. Because when I came home from a day of school or work, and I was exhausted from the emotional stress I endured, I much preferred zoning out in front of the television. Escaping reality for a while…
And when I then told myself that I should overcome it, it sometimes made me more depressed than I already was.
I just didn’t have the drive in the beginning, the absolute motivation to tackle my challenges and become socially confident.
But this was of course because it was a should for me. When I made it an absolute must for myself, things started to change around fast.
I decided to make it an absolute must because I had figured out that what I had was a condition.
I knew that it was some mental illness that I could overcome if I just worked hard at it, gave it my all and would href=”https://www.social-anxiety-solutions.com/never-give-up.html”>never give up.
And because I was so sick and tired of my life with social phobia, and felt an extreme urge and longing for a satisfying social and love life, it became an obvious decision to make it a must.
I figured that since I now had an idea on how to go about it, and that my life at the moment was a big depressing mess, it could only get better.
I now knew what I wanted exactly. I had figured it out. I dared to daydream about it now. And I knew that the harder I would work at it, the faster I would have my dream life.
Plus I reasoned that if I got this part of my life handled quickly, I still had an amazing time ahead of me.
I could still improve my existing social life, I could still meet the women I wanted and have amazing relationships. I could still travel the world, meet amazing people, do new things, experience and share adventures etc.
I found motivation by knowing what I could still do once I overcame it. So I made it a must!
It activates your Reticular Activating System (RAS) in your brain. This is the part of your brain responsible for arousal and motivation.
Very interesting you say, but why is that important?!
Because when you make overcoming social anxiety a must, you basically tell your RAS that that is of extreme importance for you.
Your RAS then starts to notice anything that relates to becoming socially confident that might be of help to you.
It will start finding solutions, helpful tips and strategies, a-ha moments and all other good stuff.
It basically activates your brain in a way to get you to your desired outcome the fastest way possible.
When you decide what you are absolutely committed to, what the outcome is you absolutely must have, and you know WHY you want it, you’ll start finding it.
To begin with, you have to really know and feel in your gut that it is possible to overcome social anxiety disorder. I’m not trying to convince you of that in this article, this should must be obvious to you now.
Since you know that this is possible already, ask yourself these three questions:
What is it that you want? What is your outcome?You have to know what you want, what you must have, otherwise you will never get it. So how do you want your social life to look like? How many friends will you have?
What social things will you do? What places will you go to? What does your dating life look like? Have you found “the one“? Are you doing new things? Are you traveling? Etc.
This is your time to dream, have fun! And write it down of course.
Why do you want it? What are your reasons for wanting the outcome?
Knowing the reasons for why you want something helps to convince your brain that what you want will bring you a better life.
Come up with and write down as many reasons you can for why you absolutely must achieve your goal. Use both positive and negative reasons.
How are you going to get there? What is your action plan to go from where you are now to your desired outcome?
This is where your RAS comes into play. By doing the first two above steps properly, your brain’s RAS will be activated and you will start finding solutions to overcoming social anxiety for yourself.
Some quick tips to stimulate your RAS:
And then finally…
… you have to make a choice!
Are you going to go for it with all you have? Are you really going to do it? Are you ready to tackle this? Are you determined to get the social life you want?
Or do you rather stay where you are at now…
If you are ready, then DECIDE!
Decide that social confidence will be a reality for you as soon as possible. And don’t let anything stop you!
To really make overcoming social anxiety a must for yourself, both consciously and unconsciously, you have to really, really want it!
Thinking that it would be nice, or it would be cool to be socially confident doesn’t cut it.
You have to be determined and super excited about overcoming your social phobia. Seriously, if you don’t have that pull towards your goal, you probably won’t stick with it for very long.
“Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.”
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