One Thing You Never Do If You’re Having a “Bad Day”

SUMMARY

Having a bad day?

We all have them. I had one myself the day I shot this, but then I reminded myself of an insight I had a couple of years ago that I wanted to pass along to you.

In this post, I share the one thing you absolutely NEVER do when you’re having a “bad day”. I also share what you can do instead to shift things around for the better.

We explore the concept of shit-colored glasses and how to stop yourself from making things worse. And you might even completely turn your day around for the better.

Remember to return here the next time you’re having one of those off days and don’t be too hard on yourself.

Be sure to subscribe by clicking “Get New Posts Via Email” under the video to get notified of weekly post updates and for the free Social Confidence Starter Kit.

FULL TRANSCRIPTION

Sebastiaan: Hello, I’m Sebastiaan from Social Anxiety Solutions. I’m social anxiety coach and I can help people feel calm and relaxed in social situations. And right now, I’d like to talk a little bit to you about a particular concept that I thought of a couple of years ago when I was having quite a tough time and that’s called the idea of… well, let’s call it “shit colored glasses”. And I’ll tell you what that concept is and how it applies to you.

When you’re having a bad day

So, if you’re aware of your thinking, your emotions some days you have better days than other days and sometimes when you’re were when your day isn’t that great, and everything seems to be totally absolutely shit. So, I’m having quite a shit day today. So, it’s nothing big but you know I’m traveling to spend some time with my daughter but I had to spend half of the day in the fricking computer store because all the documents from my desktop had been deleted and the guy didn’t know how it was possible and from the blah, blah, blah… Long story short I spent three or four hours in total in that store and I still have the same problem. So, if I had hair I said I’d be pulling it out and just like some days that doesn’t hurt me so much and other days that is just like annoying. And it’s just you know, it gets to you.

And then when you’re… when you’re having a “bad day” and you’re not feeling good and you’re then using that mood to look at the other areas of your life as well.

So, you know, I remember a couple of years back I would have a really shit day and I would I would think to my you know, I would think to myself I would think about, “Okay, my social life is not where I want it to be. My financial life is not where it’s supposed to be. You know, this is not going well, relationship with this person is not going well, why is this not working out in my life?” And I would look at the situation through “shit colored glasses”.

You know, there’s the idea when you’re in love you see the world through “rose-colored glasses” so everything is amazing, all the people love you, everything is fantastic, you know, you’re so happy, everything works out for you, things just land in their place. You know, green lights, butterflies, rainbows, everything’s just fantastic you’re seeing the world through “rose-colored glasses”.

But when you’re having an off day then you’re seeing the world through “shit colored glasses”. So, you know, a couple years ago I would have an off day I would look at my life and I’m like, “Oh, man, this is not great, that is not great and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah”. I’d get quite down and I you know, down on myself about it and I’d feel bad because I’d looking be looking with the “shit colored glasses” at my life and through these glasses, through these lenses I’m judging the other areas of my life.

Now I would then you know, go to sleep, wake up the next day, have a good day and I would look at the exact same areas of my life and I’d look at like my social life, “Oh, it’s actually pretty great. You know, I’m enjoying the people that I’m spending time with. My finances are there they’re doing well, they’re up and coming”. In other words, I’d be a lot more optimistic.

What NOT to do when you’re having a bad day

So, what I’m bringing up is…you want… Well, why I’m bringing this up is when you’re in this state of you know, “shit colored glasses”, the “shit colored glasses state”, do not make any decisions, okay?

This is not the time to make decisions because you’re looking at the world in an unproductive way. You’re not seeing things accurately.

And I kind of thought of doing a video about this topic because I had in the last week two friends reached out to me and they were in the “shit colored glasses stage” and it was so obvious to me and what they were doing is that they were making assumptions that were not even true and they were not checking in whether the assumptions were true.

They were just making assumptions about how things were and then they were believing those and then they were feeling horrible about it. Alright, so, that’s ideally not what you don’t want to do.

What you can do instead to improve your situation

So, now, when you’re in the “shit colored glasses state”, if you will, don’t put any extra pressure on yourself, just relax, go, you know, go for a walk, go to coffee shop, get a cup of coffee or go for a run. You know, work out, watch some funny YouTube videos, you know, read fiction book, get yourself out of your mind, meditate. Whatever you do just don’t stay in that state the whole time.

Or you know, if you do meditate just sit and just observe the emotions, observe the thoughts and then you can add tapping to it. That’s a fantastic exercise but you know, do any of the above but whatever you do, don’t make any drastic life decisions when you’re in this state of mind. Okay? So, your best decisions are made when most of you is available. When you’re most alive, when you’re most… when you have all your optimism and your good life energy with you because then you see things a lot more clear and then you can make your best decisions.

So, that’s a… it’s a little short tip here from coffee shop in the Philippines. I have a couple of great interviews… I have a couple of great interviews actually for you that are that are up-and-coming but guess what? They’re on my phone and I couldn’t get them onto my laptop which means Rachel’s not going to be able to get them to you this week but they’re up-and-coming and they’re really exciting.

So, and one of them is actually with one of my heroes and let’s say the New Age / New Science / Epigenetics World. And he’s quite the star so we’ve got something really cool coming up. He was actually gonna be episode 100 because it’s episode 100 of the podcast but you know, technical difficulties… they happen, life happens, shit happens. So, we’re just gonna you know, you’re just gonna have to do it with this – “The concept of shit colored glasses” in which you don’t make any decisions, distract yourself, you do something else, you get out of your state and then you wait until you’re in a good state and then you start making decisions.

All right. So, hope that little tip has been helpful to you and I’m going to chat with you again next week. Bye for now.

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Sebastiaan

Sebastiaan van der Schrier is a Social Confidence Coach and ex social anxiety sufferer. He helps socially anxious people become confident using a unique and painless approach. He is the host of the Social Anxiety Solutions podcast show and runs the first ever online Social Confidence Community.