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Meeting new people can either be one of the most rewarding experiences you can have in life or it can be the most terrifying thing you can think of. Not to mention doing…
If you currently belong to the second group don’t worry, you will soon belong to the first if you follow the advice and tools on this website.
Acquiring the ability to comfortably and successfully meet new people can give you an amazing freedom. You can expand or change your social life anytime you want.
You can build a social life from scratch with the people you want as you have an abundance of opportunities.
And you can also use the skill to meet the opposite sex as well. Not bad, right?
This article will give you the nuts and bolts of how to be socially savvy when meeting new people.
There are several articles on this site (Go here to check) that will help you to eliminate your negative emotions and thinking while doing this, but this article’s focus is on the practical part of overcoming your social anxiety, the actual meeting of “strangers“.
Meeting new people is in a way just like learning to drive a car; it’s a skill. Practice the skill and you will get better at the skill.
Keep at it and it will become automatic, just like driving a car is by now effortless for you (or a bike for that matter).
If you still feel anxious meeting new people now, don’t worry. Take the steps necessary to overcome the most negative feelings and once you’re over those return here to become successful meeting new people. Then the real fun can begin!
A small part of social anxiety is not knowing what to do or say when you meet someone new. That is what we’re diving into now.
When you are meeting new people your first impression is important. It’s however not the end all be all, because people tend to update their first impression of you, but still…
… it is important so make it count!
Here are some tips to make a good impression.
If you can’t for the life of you give people a warm smile, then just nod, squint your eyes in a friendly way and think about the person already liking and approving of you.
Keep that thought in your mind, it’ll help. You might even grin a little doing this. Good stuff.
Don’t anxiously wait for “the big moment” to happen, but be smart and be the first one to stick out your hand and say “I am -your name-” or simply “My name is -your name-”.
People will follow your lead and will always stick out their hand and introduce themselves to you. Once they do, say “nice to meet you, -their name-.
A fish-hand makes you appear weak and a hand-breaker-shake will make you appear insensitive and/or try-hard.
It’s more respectful and it also quickly creates a bond between you and the person you meet. After all, the person is important enough for you to remember their name.
Think about it, don’t you hate the people that don’t like you? What’s wrong with these people?! And on the other side, don’t you think the people that like you are the best people on this earth? It’s how we tick…
When you are meeting new people, the simplest questions are most of the time the best ones to ask. It’s called small talk.
Small talk is talking about mundane things like what you do for work and where you’re from. It’s causing you and the person you meet to feel at ease. This is because you don’t have to think much about answering these questions.
After about a minute or so the uncomfortable feeling of not knowing each other subsides and you can get into whatever you want. Small talk leads to great talk.
Some examples are “what do you do” and “where are you from”. You can ask these in just about any situation.
If the people are enjoying talking about this you can be curious and ask more questions about the subject they’re talking about.
If someone asks you why you want to know -which won’t happen by the way- you can say that you’re just a curious person.
There are some things that make you appear more socially savvy. Here are some seemingly insignificant, yet powerful ones.
By doing this you communicate that you’re actually listening. Instead of just waiting for your turn to talk… It also gives of signs of approval and this makes the person feel at ease.
If the other person is telling you something about their life and you’re just staring without blinking or acknowledging what is being said the person will wonder if you‘re listening at all… Not good.
You can even be fancy and make it “So uh, what do you do for a living?”
Meeting new people can be done anywhere and everywhere. You can do it on the internet, in public transportation, in the library, at work, in a bar or club or at your local gym or soccer club.
It doesn’t matter much. If you’re friendly and comfortable meeting new people they will be as well and so the place itself doesn’t matter as much.
Though there are of course differences in meeting new people in a night club versus meeting them in a library…
Besides, what’s fun about telling a lie? Honest people are respected, liars are laughed at. Though it might be behind their backs…
It’s worth it though, people that touch come of as warm and friendly. And also, touching speeds up the bond that is being created when two “strangers” meet.
“Wow, that’s pretty cool” or “I’m impressed” or “Interesting, tell me more” or “No way, really? Or … You get the idea.
If you’re impressed let it be known.
It shows you’re actually listening, it makes sure you understand what they’re speaking of (in case they quiz you later) and it gives them the chance to elaborate on something they’re talking about.. All good stuff.
Comfortable and successfully meeting new people is an amazing and rewarding skill to have. You get to meet so many different and interesting people once you master this skill that you have to buy an agenda just for your social life!
“Become Comfortable Starting A Conversation With Anyone”
Go to Part 1/3: Asking Questions To Start Conversation?!
Go to Part 2/3: Conversation Starters For Every Situation
Go to Part 3/3: Asking Conversation Starter Questions…
“Starting Conversations 101”
Go to Part 1/4: Creating Interesting Conversation Starters
Go to Part 2/4: Steps To Creating Your Own Good Conversation Starters
Go to Part 3/4: How To Start Conversations
Go to Part 4/4: Mentally Rehearse Your Conversation Openers
“Conversation Topics Mastery”
Go to Part 1/2: 24 Interesting Conversation Topics
Go to Part 2/2: Conversation Exercises For Conversation Confidence
“Conversation Questions Mastery”
Go to Part 1/2: Excellent Conversation Questions For Conversational Mastery
Go to Part 2/2: Questions To Keep Conversation Going?
If you want to completely overcome your social anxiety disorder, getting coached by me personally (from the comfort of your own home and the ease of sitting behind your PC) have a look at the specifics of my 1 on 1 Skype coaching package Social Anxiety Coaching
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