John’s Thank You Letter - Five Years Later

Seb,

Just wanted to send you a quick thank you.

5 years ago, I made one of the best decisions of my life and decided to pay for 3 sessions of social anxiety coaching with you. I felt so much of a difference after just 3 sessions that I paid for 7 more and since that time my life has been forever changed.

I wanted to share a brief synopsis of my social anxiety story and what I am doing with my life these days. It’s crazy to say this, but I am so separated from my social anxiety these days that as I write this, I have to sit quietly and work hard to go back to that place in my mind only 5 years ago.

What’s even crazier about having to work hard to remember, is that I lived with social anxiety for over 20 years and it controlled every aspect of my life.

Social Anxiety has a way of creeping into all areas of your life over time and even affecting your closest relationships.

Over the decades I saw psychiatrists and counselors and was put on many medications of which little relief was found. I tried self-help programs, was involved in SA support groups and even paid for social anxiety specific programs.

None of these things helped or affected any change in my life. In fact, I started feeling more hopeless with every failed attempt.

I knew from all the counseling sessions and material that I had read that my thinking and perception of the world was the problem. But no matter what I tried; I could not change my perspective and subsequent reaction in the moment.

I have experienced more embarrassing situations in my life due to SA than this email has room for and with every humiliating experience my confidence grew weaker, and my fear grew stronger.

I have experienced almost every type of social anxiety symptom that is possible. I have had profuse sweating, extreme blushing, heart racing, hands shaking, legs shaking and eye twitching.

I have had many times where I had trouble speaking and times where I was out right speechless as a group stood around waiting for me to respond to a question.

I would dread social events and even worry months ahead of time when something was planned on the calendar.

Just being around people was terrifying, so you can imagine what would happen when I was asked to speak in front of people. It was a disaster.

By the age of 35 my social anxiety had become so bad that I couldn’t even enjoy my time around my closest friends and family.

I was hopeless, depressed and secretly thought that I might end up taking my own life one day due to the pain and misery that I felt.

After yet another exhausting social engagement, I told my wife that I was going to dedicate myself once again to trying to find a cure for my social anxiety.

This is when I discovered an animated youtube video that you had made describing what social anxiety is and how it is cured.

I also found a video of you talking about your own social anxiety and I was convinced that your issues were as difficult as my own at one time.

The fact that you found a way out gave me a little glimmer of hope.

I immediately joined the social confidence program and scheduled a coaching session.

What I found in your personal coaching sessions was instant relief for all the internal baggage that I had been carrying around for so long.

I also discovered that I had many limiting subconscious beliefs about myself that were causing the social anxiety.

I understandably was skeptical initially as to how much change would actually occur in these sessions, since everything previously had let me down.

You told me that it was going to be much easier than I realized, and you were right. My life goal of being comfortable with myself completely, as well as completely comfortable in social situations was met within 2-3 months.

I then realized that it was time to set higher goals.

I am currently 5 classes short of finishing my Graduate Degree in Counseling. I plan to have my own private counseling practice in the next few years.

My father passed away last month, and I was given the opportunity to speak at his funeral.

In the past this would have crippled me. I would have spent the preparation time dreading what embarrassing experiences would most likely occur and I might have even considered not speaking.

I also wouldn’t have slept in the weeks leading up to the event.

But this wasn’t the case, and this kind of anxiety does not occur in my life anymore.

I slept well and was able to honor him with powerful words that captured the kind of man he was and what he meant to me.

I was socially calm and confident throughout the whole event.

By the way, to give some perspective this funeral had over 1200 people at it, as well as 4,000 people livestreaming online.

Because of the changes that have occurred in me, I feel like my true abilities are now coming to the surface.

I have spoken many times in front of groups in the past few years and have found that I am actually really good at it.

Who would have thought?

Truly loving and accepting oneself is a beautiful and powerful thing.

It might be the most powerful thing that a person can do for themselves.

Every person has landmark events that occur in their lives, that change them forever.

These events often start a new chapter in a person’s life.

Many years from now when I am looking back on these landmark events over the course of my life, there will be one with your name on it.

Thanks again for all the work that you have done to help change my life and countless others.

If you ever need anything, please let me know.

I would be honored to help because in so many ways….. I owe you one.

John Farrar
Dallas, Texas, USA