In this post, we share one man’s path to inner peace…
…a client gives an unsolicited testimonial of the Social Anxiety Solutions Social Confidence System and Social Confidence System.
Here are some things you’ll learn:
Share your own experiences and what you have seen work or not work in the journey to overcoming social anxiety.
Sebastiaan: Hello, my name is Sebastiaan Van Der Schrier. I’m a former social anxiety disorder suffer. The host of the Social Anxiety Solutions podcast where I interview coaches, healers, psychotherapists, researchers, psychologists etc. for their best social anxiety solutions. More than 100 episodes, way over 100.
I’m the creator of the first-ever online Social Confidence Community and the Social Confidence System and I’ve been coaching socially anxious clients since 2009. I’ve logged about 5,000 coaching hours. From that sometimes a testimonial pop up which is what happened and what I’m going to show you. This was voluntarily sent to me, I didn’t request it. Pretty cool. I think you’ll find it quite inspiring listening to what Jaime has to say.
Also, I’ve been stacking up in the past four weeks pieces of evidence. Former testimonials, interviews with PhDs, little summaries, little tidbits of information, really cool convincing stuff to get your logical brain on board a bit.
I hope this is going to be helpful for you. I also give my reply to Jaime’s testimonial because he mentions a couple of things and I talk about different modalities and I think you’ll find that quite interesting.
Alright, here we go. Three, two, one…
Jaime Dougherty: I was very skeptical. I thought yet another thing because I’ve done self-development stuff previous to that and I paid for things, I tried things out. Some things were alright but a lot of them were just scams. So, naturally I thought this could be yet another thing. It’s going to be yet another. I don’t want to get my hopes up in case I get disappointed. Which it’s a valid concern but I’ll like to report that it wasn’t the case.
The social confidence system is a one-size-fits-all way of trying to reduce the chunk of your anxiety. And the way it does this is by a mixture of different things. It uses certain questions and writing exercises. It’s about getting clear on the origins of why you feel that way, you talk about beliefs and about self-acceptance. It even goes into memories and how to release them. It uses mostly EFT but there’s also a little bit of Logosynthesis in there which is witchcraft as far as I’m concerned. I don’t know how it works and why should work but it kind of does. I found that brilliant, I want more of that.
A big chunk of the system is finding the origins of your anxiety. You’ll be surprised at what actually caused your social anxiety and how that affected other things as well.
One thing I found very helpful was working through past memories. This is something I still use today. I said I’ve got a huge list of all these memories I’ve been working through and I’ve been trying to reduce my emotional response to them, being more comfortable about trying to reassess what happened and to give me a better idea of how to act in the future. I really got a lot out of this. It’s probably the scariest part because not everyone likes going back to the past memories, some very good reasons some people got just super traumatic things happened to them, but everybody has a lot of little things and so having a safe and easy way to make sense of them and to move on from them is big.
I saw quite a lot of lasting results. I’ll give you one example. Whenever there’s someone who looks a bit rough coming down the street I always crossed the road but I’ll work through some of the memories and to why I think that might be the case and then I was walking down the street one day and I saw someone a rough-looking person coming towards me but I don’t really have the same reaction. It’s kind of like they’re the type of person that would I know being a soul to me and whatever I walk past them, and nothing happened. I didn’t feel one way or the other. That is like all that’s done now. It’s just that those memories have been put to rest.
Sebastiaan: First of all, thanks Jaime. That’s really awesome, I appreciate you sending that over and I think it’s going to be helpful for other people seeing that. I just watched it for the second time so I’ve some comments about what you said.
First of all, Jaime said he was very skeptical, and he didn’t want to get his hopes up and then get disappointed again. Yes, very common. If you’ve tried a lot of things in vain and you’ve put in your effort your brain is like, “Well, the next thing is likely going to suck as well” and that disappointed feeling that’s really painful. Do you really want to get your hopes up? And so, a lot of people become very skeptical which makes sense however your skepticism can stop you from trying new things and then you just stay stuck because of your skepticism and that’s where your skepticism is actually maybe not that smart.
Anyway, that’s a quick thing I wanted to say. Further he mentioned he had a huge list of memories that he was going to go through systematically which is one way of going about things. And I just wanted to say for someone who thinks like, “Oh, my God I’ve got thousands of memories to go through. This will take forever”. No, because there’s something called the generalization effect. So, when you have a whole bunch of memories around a particular theme, say you have hundred memories of rejection then if you treat the first one, the worst one, the most recent one and maybe a few more the healing from those that the releasing of that stuck energy in those memories will release all the other ones as well. It’s called the generalization effect and that’s because it’s all energetically linked or if you don’t believe in energy, it’s emotionally linked in your subconscious. That’s that.
It’s not just any memory that you go through. There are specific memories related to your social anxiety and then social confidence system is one way to uncover what the right ones are. That’s part of what the questions are about to help you get clear on the right memories and that kind of stuff.
Jaime talked about EFT. Well, that’s the tapping thing. It’s a technique to get rid of excessive negative emotions, stuck negative emotions beliefs that are in the way of you feeling at ease socially. It looks weird because you’re tapping on your face and your body and it’s quite out there but it’s amazing and it’s really effective and its leading-edge stuff.
And he mentioned logo synthesis. Logo synthesis is an intention-based technique which is like he said witchcraft. It is bizarre but basically you aim those phrases at particular memories, fantasies, worries, concerns and you say these phrases, so you tune into particular memory, you feel upset, you say those phrases and the upset goes away. The energy gets rebalanced, it’s weird but it works. I used that along with tapping.
And he mentioned he was referring to two other things. One is Psych-K Psychological Kinesiology, which I do still use frequently because it is incredible and it’s a way to install positive beliefs directly into your subconscious mind. If you ever heard of affirmations – “I love myself. I love myself” say it harder with emotions – “I love myself”. Yeah, that stuff that takes forever only to work a little bit Psych-K is a way to put information on steroids and it does work, and it works amazingly well in my experience and I use it pretty much with all of my clients and most of my clients. It’s a fantastic way to override negative beliefs so if you don’t love yourself for example you could install a belief such as “I’m worthy of being loved” or “I love myself” and that will overwrite the previous programming that is there. It’s spectacular.
The other one that he’s referring to where you’re doing this is indeed very weird and usually, I only pull it out after a couple of sessions when my clients have already noticed significant changes in their life because most of the time, I’m just talking about tapping and not talking about these other things because they’re so weird and out there. And so, if I start promoting these things also, I just lose all credibility. That’s why I don’t promote those so much, but Emotion Code is also an amazing technique. What it is it’s a way to uncover and release trapped emotions and it’s based upon muscle testing. I won’t go into what exactly it is if you can listen to the interview with the founder of the technique as well as a leading voice in the Psych-K community as well as the founder of the logo synthesis podcast and I’ll link that somewhere under here. Rachel will link that somewhere under here.
But Emotion Code is a way to uncover trapped emotions and then release them by making this motion. The challenge with it is that you don’t feel anything shifting in the moment usually and with Psych-K you usually feel a shift. With logo synthesis you’ll feel a shift, with tapping you’ll feel a shift. But with Emotion Code this shifts usually come like in a day or two, but I still use that because it’s very powerful and its rapid quick. If I do that in a session it might take up two or three minutes of our time. I find it very valuable.
Thank you very much. I’ll talk to you next Thursday. Bye.