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Imagine YOU Socially at ease!



In this video…

Sebastiaan shares a guided visualization to help individuals overcome Social Anxiety.

He guides viewers to focus on their five senses and breathing while imagining scenarios where they no longer have Social Anxiety.

These scenarios involve imagining that you are at ease, happy, and proud of yourself, and that you have no need for approval or acceptance from others. 

The visualization ends with individuals feel more relaxed, calm, confident and happy with who they are.

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Here’s a little, simple guided visualization to imagine yourself socially at ease.

So, begin by calming yourself down and bringing yourself into the present moment.

How do you do that? Well, there are many ways, but one way to do it is to center yourself in the present by tuning into your five senses.

You can taste what you’ve got in your mouth—the taste of it.

You can smell what’s going on around you, though I don’t smell much. But more commonly, you can listen to the sounds around you.

Maybe this is the noise of people far away or the sound of your aircon, if you’re in Asia or in hot countries. Or maybe the sound of the central heating, if you’re in Europe.

Maybe the sound of my voice

You can tune in to your feelings by noticing what it is that you’re sitting on, assuming you’re sitting or lying on it. What does that feel like on your skin?

Just notice that…

You can pay attention to what you’re seeing in your surroundings. Or if you’ve got your eyes closed, you can notice the colors behind your eyes.

Then, pay attention to your breathing and begin to slow it down so that you are breathing in and out through your mouth. Just go twice as slow out as you go in. So breathe in through the nose, into the belly, and out through the mouth twice as slowly as you breathe in.

Do it again.

Place one hand on your heart and the other on top of that. You might feel the warmth of your hand on your heart and close your eyes if you feel comfortable doing so.

Imagine that a while from now, you wake up and your Social Anxiety problem is gone. It’s not there anymore. It’s no longer with you.

You feel lighter.
You feel more at ease.
You feel happy.
You feel good about yourself.

Look in the mirror, and you’re happy with who you see.

You’re proud of yourself.
You’re pleased with who you are.
You’re like yourself.
You respect yourself.
You trust yourself.
You feel good about being you.

And as you’re thinking about what’s coming up this day, interacting with people, your work, and who you might run into, you actually look fondly towards it.

Then you go about your day. And when you run into people, you feel comfortable and at ease. It’s just a normal conversation. You’re not trying to get anything; you’re not trying to get approval, acceptance, or recognition, or have people be impressed with you, or any of that; it’s all gone.

You just find yourself feeling surprisingly relaxed and at ease. You’re chill, you’re curious about the other person, you’re open to wherever the conversation might go, and you’re not attached to any particular outcome.

When there’s a silence in the conversation, you just let it be.
When there’s an awkward moment, you just take a breath and move on.

Maybe that other person asks a question of you, or you ask a person a question, or you make a comment, or whatever.

So, you’re okay with whatever; you’re fine.

You go about your day, and you meet up with other people. You find yourself feeling good. You like being around people. Connecting is effortless. It just happens. You feel safe being yourself.

You’re enjoying making eye contact. You’re not thinking about,

“Oh, how long should I make contact?”
“When do I break it?”
“Have I been staring too long?”
“Am I staring?”
“What are they thinking?”

None of that is there; you’re just connecting with another person. You’re making eye contact, looking away at times, and making eye contact at other times. It’s all good; you’re not worried about it.

You’re okay with yourself, and you expect others to be okay with you too. When it seems like, and maybe it is, that someone is not in a great mood, you don’t take it personally. You’re like, “Ah! That person must not be having the greatest day. I wonder what’s going on.”

Because you know that you’re a likable person. You know that you are worthy and deserving. You anticipate being perceived in that way and being respected. We’re not attached to it. So it’s okay if it happens; it’s also okay if it doesn’t happen. It’s not the end of the world. It’s not a big deal. So, you’re just pretty chill.

You’re just pretty relaxed about things. You don’t take things so seriously, and you don’t take yourself so seriously. You’re not worried anymore about what people think of you. You’re okay with whatever they think of you. You realize that you have no control over it. You realize that at some point, you decided to just give people permission to think whatever they want.

You feel really free and liberated.

You go about your day, and everything is just easier. You’re calmer about things; you’re not worried. You’re just having a good time.

You notice that certain people really like you, and it feels really nice.

You notice that other people are kind of lukewarm toward you. You’re okay with it. You don’t feel particularly excited about them either. You’re okay with them, but you don’t exactly really love them. So, it’s okay that they feel that way towards you too.

And every now and then, there’s this grumpy person who, for whatever reason, doesn’t seem to like you. You recognize,

“It’s okay, that person has a problem with me for whatever reason. I don’t even need to know the reason.” or “It’s okay, I don’t need to take this personally; just let this go and let’s move on with things.”

Yes, this is now your experience when you’re around people.

When you feel like socializing, you socialize.
When you feel like being quiet for a while, you’re quiet for a while. You’re okay with it.
When things come to mind, you say them because you feel you can handle whatever comes your way.

It’s all good. It’s all fine. No worries, no problems.

Yes, you have far more interesting conversations. You’re joking around. It’s playful. It’s easy. It’s fun.

Now, this is your experience.

You go to bed, and the next day, same thing.

Whoa! Great.

You go to bed, and the next day, same thing.
And you go to bed, and the next day, same thing.

A couple of weeks go by, and while it’s beginning to feel really exciting, it’s starting to feel more normal.

You start to get used to it. You begin to think like, “Hmm, this whole Social Anxiety thing that I thought was there forever, that was who I was, and that doesn’t seem to be that way at all. It’s something I was dealing with. I’m so happy. I’m no longer dealing with that. It’s great. And now there’s my other life. What do I want now with my life?”

You start to think,

“What do I want to do in terms of my career?”
“What do I want to do in terms of my romantic life?”
“What do I want to do in terms of my friendships and my hobbies?”
“What do I want to do?”

You feel more open and explorative. Because of the transformation that you’ve made, you know that challenges can be overcome. They are there to help you grow and to help you evolve to the next level.

And so, with that particular attitude, you take on other challenges in your life, and you feel more unlimited.

“I can do things” – you feel empowered.

Now, you go to bed, and weeks go by and months go by, and eventually, Social Ease is just the way it is for you. It’s just normal. It’s natural. That’s how it is. And now, you’re on your way to creating the life you want for yourself.

That’s right.

Good. Take a deep breath and relax.

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