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Aside from being sad and empty, one of the fears from suffering Social Anxiety is the fear of the unknown.
And in this episode, watch Tina as she shares her #JourneyToSocialEase and how she accepted her past, and how she felt happier, more alive, and whole again.
PS: The Social Confidence Club is not yet open for registration.
You can sign up for our newsletter and get notified once the club is open.
Go to: www.social-anxiety-solutions.com.
Seb: Hey, this is Sebastiaan from www.social-anxiety-solutions.com. I’m a former Social Anxiety Disorder sufferer. I’m Social Confidence Coach, and I help people overcome Social Anxiety. I’ve been doing that for a long time, since 2009.
And in 2018, I ran my first ever Social Confidence Community. In 2020 – during the start of the lockdown, I created a 30-Day challenge.
And after the 30-Day challenge, I started a Social Confidence Club, which is kind of like the Social Confidence Community.
And what we’re doing inside the Social Confidence Club is:
So that’s the Social Confidence Club. And Tina joined the Social Conference Club in May? April? March?
Tina: No, I started the challenge in March.
Seb: Right. So then, it was probably April that you joined?
Tina: No, I think maybe it was August. I have it over the summer. That’s right. I was on holiday. Yeah…I remember.
Seb: For a while, at least, let’s just say that. We’re recording this, and it’s the second week of January. And so, it’s been roughly six months. And I asked a couple of members of the Social Confidence Club if they wanted to share their experience on video. And Tina is one of the people that said, Yes!
Thank you very much for being here.
Tina: You’re welcome!
Seb: Okay. And I told you before we started this, this is going to be very informal. My usual informal style, but I’ve got a bunch of questions from the internet. We’ve got less than 25 minutes, so we’re just going to run through them super-fast.
First of all, what was your social anxiety experience before discovering tapping and the 30-day challenge and Social Confidence Club?
Tina: Before, I didn’t know it was social anxiety. I had it more like anxiety because I’m a teacher. And I go out every day, and I teach, and I go to meetings, but I have anxiety. In a way, which very much can use all the tools I’ve got from working with you.
Seb: When you’re in a social situation, how did you know that you have anxiety? What were the physical symptoms, or what were the thoughts that you were having?
Tina: It was not when I was in social situations; it was more when I get triggered for other things that I got anxiety.
Seb: Okay. Like?
Tina: People’s sudden anger, people’s changing behavior or changing an appointment. That’s mostly the thing. I was so afraid of people would be angry at me.
Seb: And what would happen if they were or even if you thought that they were?
Tina: I freeze, and my whole system locks down. I couldn’t feel myself; I became very tired, I became sad. And I remember if it keeps going for a long time because my consciousness didn’t recognize it at the start. And when it keeps going on for a long time, then I got physically sick.
Seb: Because you stayed in that experience for so long, you mean. You kept frozen for so long.
And how would you talk to yourself? Do you remember?
Tina: For many years, I thought I was physically sick with the flu or something else. So I was just sick. But then, after the years went by, I started thinking this is not only the physically sick(ness). There’s some more to it. And it took many years to come to this, that I have that I could speak with myself about it, and speak with others about it.
That’s not what you mean?
Seb: Well, that’s also interesting. I mean, did you beat yourself up about the anxiety? Or were you worried about it? Or were you scared of it?
Tina: I was worried that it would take too long for me to be fresh to come to work again. Because I was literally laying down the whole week at home, and I didn’t know what you know what to do. So, I was afraid that it would never go away. And I was afraid I have to be lying there and not feel good.
Seb: Got it. And what was most difficult about the anxiety or what was most frustrating, or what was most difficult? What was the most painful?
Tina: I think the free situation that I didn’t have any tools that I didn’t have permission to do anything about it. Maybe I was just listening to this a child who didn’t have any tools to do anything. That was the most frustrating, as I remember it when I start getting more specific about it and more conscious about it.
Seb: Got it. And what were some of the things that you tried, if anything, to overcome it?
Tina: For nearly 20 years, I started education from a Psychotherapist and all the tools there; it’s like taking layers off for those years.
And what was your question again?
Seb: What were some of the specific tools that you might have used to try to get rid of that freeze response?
Tina: I tried a lot of body therapy. I tried a lot of individual therapy and workshops with trauma release in Denmark with therapists. I tried a lot of things, a lot of things. But it took layers and layers and layers and layers away. And then I found you.
Seb: Okay, nice. Well, so you did the 30-day challenge. And that the 30 Day Challenge, you decided to join the club? Was there any doubt about joining?
Tina: I think it took a new one – the 30 days more challenge?
Seb: Oh, you did two challenges back-to-back?
Tina: Because you sent it out there when the whole world will knock down the industry last year? I have something that I could feel was just in my mind. I had some “What is this? and What is he trying to do?” But I could feel how much that challenge has helped me. So, I barely doubted because I just I could do it for one month, I thought. And then if it’s not good, I’ll just leave it again.
So, I really didn’t know how much it would mean to me. I just tried it because I could feel the two challenges have made me so much better in this anxiety.
Seb: Got it. All right. These questions that I have jumped a little bit from one thing to the next. Alright, so a little bridge.
All right. So now we’ve talked about your experience prior to it. Now let’s talk about the results that you’ve gotten.
What’s the biggest benefit that you’ve gained as a result of the Social Confidence Club?
Tina: There can go days and weeks without I’m anxious now. That must be the best and the tools. And when I get triggered as I sometimes do, I’ve learned so many things and use some more than others come after how I feel.
Seb: Yeah, depending on how you feel in the what type of technique you use.
Yeah, right. Great.
Tina: And I’m just much happier. And I’m just much more into life. And I don’t care if people get angry at me, because it’s not in the “now” it’s from back then.
Seb: Great. Yeah, that’s good. Good results. Awesome. Has it been worth the money you’ve invested?
Tina: Absolutely. And more worth than that. Can you say that in English?
Seb: Yeah. It’s clear enough. It’s clear enough. And was it a painful process?
Tina: To come to the club or to what?
Seb: Sorry, to be a member of the club. And do the tapping and do these exercises and so on.
Tina: Sometimes, It was painful. But that was my history, that was my pain. It was not the tools or the community – it was my pain, and my travel and along with that. And I release it every time.
Seb: Good. Good. I asked those questions because some people are concerned about that.
Tina: But I can remember in spring, I suddenly have five or nearly six weeks without anxiety. And I was so happy and also wrote it someplace.
After this period, it started to come small things up to a new level I have to look at, and I have to tap on and release that way.
But then I had the experience. I can have it like this for many weeks to be like that again without anxiety.
Seb: Yeah. It’s a matter of persistence. And so, when anxiety is not there for six weeks, and then there’s another thing that shows up, that’s simply another piece of the puzzle, like a stone that has not been turned over. And then you work through that, and then you actually get even more of a breakthrough.
Tina: Yeah, that’s right.
Seb: I like what you say about “And I’m happier” because that’s also what it does because you’re releasing stuff from the past that when you don’t release it, your system uses energy to keep suppressing that.
And that energy costs your happy points if you want to say it in a simple way. And by releasing that past crap is happier.
Tina: That’s right. And more alive.
Seb: Yeah. Awesome. Okay. What specifically do you like the most about the Social Confidence Club? And why?
Tina: I specifically like the webinars that we have, the meetings during Fridays and Sundays.
Seb: Why do you like those?
Tina: Because I think every time I release some more because I’m tapping with the others or myself. The other in things coming up from the others. It also, and you say sometimes, you can just think of your own pattern, and it will also release. So, it’s very good. And I also like WhatsApp now, it’s new for me, but it’s good sometimes just to know those people here who are in the same boat.
Seb: Yeah. The community. Nice. What is another benefit that you have as a result of the Social Conference Club?
Tina: Now, I can now share with others that I had this anxiety, this trauma from my childhood. It’s not to everyone, but it’s more natural for me now because I integrated it before I could get rid of it. Or how do you say get rid of it? Do you know what I mean?
I just take it under my arm. It’s “I’m becoming more whole,” as the adult I am. This is my history. And I have this tool now. And now it’s less, and it feels less and less and less and less.
Seb: Maybe, let me see if I understand it. So, what I hear you say is like, the problem is becoming a lot less, and I’m owning it. I own the fact that that was my past. I own the fact that I had that problem. And I’m not embarrassed or ashamed of it, and I can talk about it without.
Tina: Yeah. That’s right. Yeah.
Seb: Well, that’s a very important part. So many people are very ashamed of it, embarrassed about it, try to hide it, and it just makes it bigger.
Tina: My closest friends now know what I’ve been struggling with. And that I’m in this group now. And they also come in with input to me “that makes sense for 20 years ago, or for ten years ago, like that.” So it’s very good for my friends and my boyfriend and me also. And my children have also chosen material because I’m more aware of now what it was with me. What was wrong? What I was in at that time.
Seb: Yeah. And some people choose to tell others, and other people don’t. There’s no one perfect way. It just depends on the situation. Sometimes it’s just strategically not great to tell a particular person because they’ll start abusing it. But when you can tell other people in that way that that’s really great.
Tina: And I want to say my closest friends and those who can manage to hear about it or know how to react to it.
Seb: Yeah. Excellent. Would you recommend the Social Confidence Club? If so, why?
Tina: Yeah, I would! I have done it! Because it’s just my story. They can see how it helped me. So yes, of course, I will because it helps because it’s a good tool. And it’s taking the subconscious layer. And you also have the tools. If you stand just right here and get triggered, you also have something you can do still. Then your consciousness would go in this direction and not follow the nervous system.
Seb: Right. Getting stuck. Yeah. Nice. Awesome.
Well, that was easy, nice, and efficient. We got it within the 25 minutes that we wanted to do it. Anything else to add?
Tina: No, I don’t know. Not right now.
Seb: Great. Wonderful. Well, thank you very much for sharing, Tina. You are much appreciated.
If you’re watching this, you’re probably watching this at some point. Actually, I don’t know when I’m going to release it. I’m just going to keep this general.
I hope you enjoyed this little interview with Tina about our Social Confidence Club. And maybe it’s open for registration. Maybe it’s not. I don’t know when this is being released. But if it’s open for registration, I’m sure you can find it on my website. Social Anxiety solutions.com.
Thanks again. And I’ll connect with you soon. Bye for now.