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In this episode, Sebastiaan will be addressing the following question posted by Faisal in one of our YouTube videos:
“How do you stop the fear of being seen anxious?”
Watch the full video so you will:
Start chipping away this fear by tapping along with Damien through the ‘Overcome Your Fear Of Being Seen Anxious’ Coaching Series program which you can find at https://bit.ly/seenanxious
How do you stop the fear of being seen anxious?
Hey, it is Seb from www.social-anxiety-solutions.com
I’m a former Social Anxiety Disorder sufferer and a Social Confidence coach. And I specialize in using EFT tapping, and energy psychology, combined with traditional psychology approaches to overcome Social Anxiety faster, with less hassle, with less stress, and in a much more gentle way with lasting results.
Sounds pretty damn good, doesn’t it?
I have a question from Faisal, and it was on YouTube, and he writes:
How do you stop the fear of being seen anxious? If you could make a video on this issue, we will be happy from you.
All good. So, I did a whole coaching series on this, where I guided a client to overcome or reduce that fear of being seen anxious.
And so that was 4 x 90 minutes. And I recorded that, put it into a product, and call it ‘Overcome Your Fear Of Being Seen Anxious.’
You can get that by going to https://bit.ly/seenanxious.
But anyway, let me give you a few minutes’ answers.
Alright? So you understand the psychology.
When you’re afraid of being seen anxious, that’s for a reason.
So, my question would be to you:
What does it mean to you when other people see you anxious?
And a common answer that I get is like, “well, it means that they’re judging me to be a loser, it means that they think I’m pathetic, it means that they think I’m weak.”
So now what you’ve uncovered is, even though that might be the reality, it’s really less likely to be the reality.
What is highly likely is the reality that you judge yourself for being anxious in those particular ways.
It’s your own beliefs about yourself.
So now you’re anxious, and you start projecting your own beliefs onto other people. And you perceive that they’re judging you in that particular way. And you react emotionally to that.
And so, you want to neutralize your emotional reactions to that.
In the end, your goal is, “I’m okay with people seeing me anxious” – it doesn’t mean you like, it doesn’t mean you want it, it doesn’t mean you’re not going to do anything about it… it just means that you’ve reached acceptance. That’s what you’re after because other people are going to see it.
And by the way, most of the time, people don’t even see it.
I do these live coaching sessions. And I coach one of our members of the Social Confidence club. There are 50/60 people on screen, and my client is super anxious. And they’ll say like, “Oh, I’m blushing right now.”
And I’m like, “Really? I don’t see it. And I’m trained to see it. I’m a former blusher. I have 12 years of experience as a coach working with people who blushed, working with people’s anxiety, I don’t see it”.
And then I say, “Okay, guys, if you can see her blush, raise your hand,” and no hands go up.
And I’ve done that with various symptoms. People say, “Oh, I’m shaking, my face is shaking. Oh, I’ve got this twitch right now”.
I’m like, really? I don’t see it! Guys, if anyone can see it, please raise your hand. And be honest, don’t be nice. We just want to get a real measurement. Can anyone see it? No. –One time, I had one guy raise his hand. That’s it.
So most of the time, the things that you’re really afraid of people seeing it, it’s a vast exaggeration in your mind. Your mind is playing tricks on you. People don’t really see it that often.
Sometimes they do see it. And yes, it does make them uncomfortable (sometimes).
But that’s not your problem. That’s their problem.
Because there are also people who you get anxious around who are fine with it, you get anxious. They remain calm. So these people that remain calm, they don’t have an issue with anxiety.
The people who squirm and get anxious when you get anxious have an anxiety issue, on some level themselves as well, or they just cannot handle uncomfortable situations.
And that’s not your responsibility. That’s their responsibility.
Anyway, so the outcome that you’re after is to be okay with other people seeing you anxious. And so, one thing you want to do is imagine them seeing you anxious and then neutralize your emotional reactions to it, and shift your self-judgment, your beliefs about yourself that you project onto other people, and neutralize these.
Now that can be a whole bunch of work. And if you want some assistance, just tapping along with Damien. That’s the guy I coached on-screen you can go to bit.li/seenanxious
That’s really as simple as click the play button, see me talk to Damien who’s in that moment, feeling anxious. And he has a whole bunch of people that attended that live coaching session, who are in that moment seeing him anxious, and I’m working with the feelings that he’s having.
Now, guess what? You’re going to be relating to most, if not all of those feelings, because this problem is so similar.
In fact, it’s the number two fear of people dealing with social anxiety.
So, you’re going to be able to relate to it. You’re going to tap along with it. And as you tap along with it, you’re going to shift your belief just like Damien is shifting his beliefs.
It’s going to really help you.
So if you want to go check that out, go to bit.ly/seenanxious
Alright, thank you for your question. This is Seb from www.social-anxiety-solutions.com. Talk to you very soon.
Bye for now.