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Ahh, the big question How do you become confident?
This is on the one hand and easy question to answer. And I’ll get into that answer now. After I do so, I’ll explain to you how to be self confident permanently.
Becoming confident can be done within a day or two. You ‘simply’ use a strategy from the CBT-world (CBT = Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) called progressive desensitization.
This is where you come up with something you want to do that you fear just a little. A minor fear.
If you scale fear from 0 – 10; 0 being no fear, 10 being extremely fearful, you pick something that is about a “2 out of 10 fear”.
Then after that you courageously do the thing you fear and as a result you will gain some confidence from doing that.
Being courageous and doing the thing you fear always results in an increase of confidence.
Then once you have this increase in your confidence, you’ll feel ready to tackle a slightly bigger challenge; something that you fear a bit more.
It’s again something that is a minor fear to you, a “2 out of 10 fear“.
This fear is a 2 out of 10 again, but if you would’ve tried to tackle this challenge prior to the increase in confidence, this fear would probably have been a 4 out of 10 fear.
But because you now have increased your confidence the fear appears to be less.
Confidence cancels out fear.
And so you do this new thing you fear and you, again, get some extra confidence. Which you will then use to again tackle a slightly bigger challenge. And so forth.
So how do you become confident FAST? Progressive desensitization!
But… There’s a but to this…
Staying confident is another story. I’ve done progressive desensitization. Multiple times. And it has worked for me. But it didn’t last…
Now I’m not saying that it won’t last for you, but when you suffer from low self esteem the confidence won’t stick. You need to improve your self esteem and build up your self confidence both.
I’ve for example forced myself to initiate conversation with 20 people/groups of people.
First I’d start saying looking people in the eyes. Then I’d say hello. Then hello and asking directions. Then hello and introducing myself. Then hello and initiating conversation.
Every step was very challenging. But at the end of the day I felt amazing. King of the world!
But that feeling lasted for about 2,3 days and I was back to where I was before; socially anxious…
So how DO you become confident? How do you become confident permanently?
Go to part II: How To Be Self Confident Permanently
If you want to completely overcome your social anxiety disorder, getting coached by me personally (from the comfort of your own home and the ease of sitting behind your PC) have a look at the specifics of my 1 on 1 Skype coaching package Social Anxiety Coaching
Changing Your Beliefs 101
Go to part 1/3: How To Change Your Beliefs
Go to part 2/3: Challenging Beliefs To Change Your Beliefs
Go to part 3/3: Changing Core Beliefs To Improve Your Self Esteem
“Become Comfortable Starting A Conversation With Anyone”
Go to Part 1/3: Asking Questions To Start Conversation?!
Go to Part 2/3: Conversation Starters For Every Situation
Go to Part 3/3: Asking Conversation Starter Questions…
“Starting Conversations 101”
Go to Part 1/4: Creating Interesting Conversation Starters
Go to Part 2/4: Steps To Creating Your Own Good Conversation Starters
Go to Part 3/4: How To Start Conversations
Go to Part 4/4: Mentally Rehearse Your Conversation Openers
And of course…
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