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How Do You Become Confident?

Sebastiaan

Ahh, the big question How do you become confident?

This is on the one hand and easy question to answer. And I’ll get into that answer now. After I do so, I’ll explain to you how to be self confident permanently.

How Do You Become Confident FAST?

Becoming confident can be done within a day or two. You ‘simply’ use a strategy from the CBT-world (CBT = Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) called progressive desensitization.

This is where you come up with something you want to do that you fear just a little. A minor fear.

If you scale fear from 0 – 10; 0 being no fear, 10 being extremely fearful, you pick something that is about a “2 out of 10 fear”.

Then you use various techniques such as mental rehearsal,
positive affirmations and challenging limiting beliefs prior to taking action on the thing you fear.

Then after that you courageously do the thing you fear and as a result you will gain some confidence from doing that.


Being courageous and doing the thing you fear always results in an increase of confidence.


Then once you have this increase in your confidence, you’ll feel ready to tackle a slightly bigger challenge; something that you fear a bit more.

It’s again something that is a minor fear to you, a “2 out of 10 fear“.

This fear is a 2 out of 10 again, but if you would’ve tried to tackle this challenge prior to the increase in confidence, this fear would probably have been a 4 out of 10 fear.

But because you now have increased your confidence the fear appears to be less.

Confidence cancels out fear.

And so you do this new thing you fear and you, again, get some extra confidence. Which you will then use to again tackle a slightly bigger challenge. And so forth.

So how do you become confident FAST? Progressive desensitization!
But… There’s a but to this…

Staying confident is another story. I’ve done progressive desensitization. Multiple times. And it has worked for me. But it didn’t last…

Now I’m not saying that it won’t last for you, but when you suffer from low self esteem the confidence won’t stick. You need to improve your self esteem and build up your self confidence both.

I’ve for example forced myself to initiate conversation with 20 people/groups of people.

First I’d start saying looking people in the eyes. Then I’d say hello. Then hello and asking directions. Then hello and introducing myself. Then hello and initiating conversation.

Every step was very challenging. But at the end of the day I felt amazing. King of the world!

But that feeling lasted for about 2,3 days and I was back to where I was before; socially anxious…

So how DO you become confident? How do you become confident permanently?

Go to part II: How To Be Self Confident Permanently

Or…

If you want to completely overcome your social anxiety disorder, getting coached by me personally (from the comfort of your own home and the ease of sitting behind your PC) have a look at the specifics of my 1 on 1 Skype coaching package Social Anxiety Coaching

RELATED PAGES:

Changing Your Beliefs 101

Go to part 1/3: How To Change Your Beliefs

Go to part 2/3: Challenging Beliefs To Change Your Beliefs

Go to part 3/3: Changing Core Beliefs To Improve Your Self Esteem

  • Techniques To Create Conversation Skills
  • Move beyond your comfort zone
  • Structurally developing habits to become socially confident
  • Tips on how to make friends

“Become Comfortable Starting A Conversation With Anyone”

Go to Part 1/3: Asking Questions To Start Conversation?!

Go to Part 2/3: Conversation Starters For Every Situation

Go to Part 3/3: Asking Conversation Starter Questions…

“Starting Conversations 101”

Go to Part 1/4: Creating Interesting Conversation Starters

Go to Part 2/4: Steps To Creating Your Own Good Conversation Starters

Go to Part 3/4: How To Start Conversations

Go to Part 4/4: Mentally Rehearse Your Conversation Openers

And of course…

Subscribe to the free Secrets Of Social Confidence newsletter and receive your “Social Anxiety Destroyer Starter Kit” within minutes!

This consists of 2 videos with accompanying PDF’s you can start watching in minutes from now. These will teach you some simple to use, yet very effective techniques for dealing with anxiety.

Doing so will help you out immediately in dealing with your social anxiety.

Fill in your name and email address, then click on the subscribe button to receive the next issue of Secrets Of Social Confidence!

The moment I receive your confirmation, I’ll send you the “Social Anxiety Destroyer Starter Kit” so you can take your first steps towards social confidence.



Go from How Do You Become Confident back to the Homepage

 

copyright 2008-2014 | Sebastiaan van der Schrier | contact | disclaimer

 

July 30, 2012 #SASBlog
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Sebastiaan
Sebastiaan van der Schrier is a Social Confidence Coach and ex social anxiety sufferer. He helps socially anxious people become confident using a unique and painless approach. He is the host of the Social Anxiety Solutions podcast show and runs the first ever online Social Confidence Community.
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Latest posts by Sebastiaan (see all)
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