In every problem, there is a solution.
But how do you attack a big problem, like social anxiety?
In order to get to being socially anxiety-free, there’s actually a social confidence journey you have to take.
Today, I teach you one essential thing that you must bring with you on that journey.
Understand what it is, get started, and keep going. Do everything a little bit every day so you can liberate yourself from social anxiety completely.
Watch out for my Social Confidence Community in August 2020. Be inspired and supported as we go through your #SocialConfidenceJourney together.
Hey, this is Sebastiaan from social-anxiety-solutions.com
I’m a former Social Anxiety Disorder sufferer. I help people overcome social anxiety. So, just so you know what to do, in case you haven’t heard it like a thousand times already.
I’m here in front of a salsa place where I’m about to dance later. I still have to shoot this weekly video that I do. I’m sitting outside so if you hear some salsa music in the background, I’m sorry. We’ll just have to deal with it.
I’m going to talk today about #socialconfidencejourney.
A lot of people are looking for quick fixes and instant solutions. We’re living in a world where everyone wants that. We’re catered to that. But it doesn’t work for everything. It definitely usually isn’t the case when you’ve been dealing with social anxiety for a long time. (It cannot happen that) all of a sudden, you’re just going to be free of it. It’s going to require work. It’s going to require dedication. It’s going to require effort. I want to invite you to shift your mindset around this.
The mindset that some people might have is like, “Oh my god, I have social anxiety. It’s this problem that I have. I can’t do anything about it. It’s too much work. It’s too difficult. I’m overwhelmed and frustrated. It’s too much.”
I get it. I understand that mindset. Yet, it’s also a mindset that keeps you stuck forever. I hate to bring it to you. Don’t shoot the messenger.
Until you’re actually going to change something, until you’re actually going to take some action, nothing is gonna happen.
How do you attack a big problem, like social anxiety? Well, it’s like the old saying goes, “How to eat an elephant?” One bite at a time. Instead of having a way (I’m going to say it aloud, don’t blame me for it) a victim mindset or a helpless mindset, take a learner’s mindset. It’s a mindset of “Okay. This is something that I can learn. Just like I can go to school and study to become a psychologist or do a degree in biology. I’m not going to be able to learn all of that in one day or in one week or even in one month. But if I start studying and I do a little bit every day, then within a month, I’m going to be fairly knowledgeable. I’ll have made a lot of progress on my journey to having mastered that particular topic.” That’s the same for this.
In order to get to being socially anxiety free, there’s actually a learner’s journey: learning and applying. So, you learn a little bit about how this works. Then, you apply it and you gain some relief. You learn a little bit. Then, you apply it and gain some more relief.
You continuously do little, little bits. When it doesn’t work, you need to learn a little bit more. Setbacks are part of it. So bit by bit, step by step, as you keep that learning mindset, there’s no such thing as failure.
When it’s not working, you just need to figure out why it’s not working. You get some feedback. From that feedback, you know how to do it next time. You then, learn how to do it. It’s like, “Ah, okay, that’s why it doesn’t work.” Then, you apply that solution next time when you’re running into that problem. So basically, you will then obliterate that problem because you found the solution for it.
So. have a learner’s mindset. Understand that it’s going to take some time. But every time you do some tapping in the right way on one of the right targets, you’re going to make some progress. You’re going to feel a little bit better. You’re going to have a little bit of relief. Those little bits of relief and those little bits of feeling better are going to add up over time. It’s not going to be this gigantic, phenomenal, massive breakthrough, all of a sudden. No, it’s a lot of little subtle changes that end up making a profound transformation over time.
So, have a learner’s mindset. Get started and keep going. Do everything a little bit every day. Continuously learn. Keep that learner’s mindset. See it as, you’re going to get a degree in social confidence, right? You’re going to get a degree in social ease. It’s worth it. It’s going to affect all your relationships for the rest of your life.
When you improve in this area, every little bit that you improve, you improve everything across the board. That’s an improvement for the rest of your life. So, this is such valuable work.
It can feel like a massive curse. It’s an incredible annoyance and frustration. It’s consuming you’re thinking that you’re not able to live your potential. You can’t connect. You’re scared. You’re embarrassed. I felt it. I know exactly what it is like.
I’m offering you to consider the possibility of looking for what is the gift in it. What is the gift in it? What gift has it been for me, for a lot of clients that I worked with, or people that go through my programs.
It forces you to look inside to what is triggering the social anxiety. Such as problems with self-esteem, problems with self-acceptance, feelings of shame, insecurities, not being as happy as you can be, not being as liberated, free and easygoing as you can be, being held back.
The anxiety will lead you to look at that, deal with it, address it, and release it. So you can liberate yourself. It might take you a year or few years. It could be a few months. You’re going to reap the rewards when you put into work.
So, have a learner’s mindset. Go on to #socialconfidencejourney.
Have a great week. I hope it’s been helpful. Share any insights. I’m going to be doing some salsa dancing very, very soon. Subscribe here. I will connect with you soon. What a beautiful background by the way. It is fantastic. Love it. Alright, have a good one. Bye for now.