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Do you ever feel like a loser because you’re dealing with Social Anxiety?
Do you ever feel ashamed, uncomfortable, judged because of this?
In this episode, Sebastiaan will be doing a tap-along to help you ease your belief that you are a loser because of Social Anxiety.
Check out the video now.
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Do you ever feel like a loser because you’re dealing with Social Anxiety?
No need for that.
And we’re going to look at that and address that, and hopefully shift it around a bit today in this video, or on this podcast (depending on where you’re getting this information).
My name is Sebastiaan. I am a former Social Anxiety Disorder sufferer, and a Social Confidence Coach since 2009. I’ve been doing this for a long time.
And I specialized in using energy psychology, in particular EFT tapping, to help people overcome Social Anxiety.
I run a Social Confidence Club (it’s closed for registration). But within that club, a big element and a core element of the Social Confidence Club is LIVE coaching. We do that on Zoom. I’ve got my whole screen full of people that are suffering from Social Anxiety, and we’re all working towards the same goal.
We then work through various issues that pretty much everyone can relate to.
So, often, I work with a volunteer, and I’ll have a chat with that volunteer. And we work through the anxiety that’s there in the moment. And my volunteer or my client calms down.
And this week, we were talking about acceptance. I told the group, and the guy I was working with: ‘Look, we don’t just have the primary problem of Social Anxiety, we actually have a secondary problem. That secondary problem is our upset about Social Anxiety and our judgments towards ourselves for dealing with this problem. So do you have any judgments?’ — I asked him.
And he said, ‘Well, yeah, like, it makes me feel like a loser.’
So, I said to the group (and imagine I have a group of a whole bunch of people on my screen in zoom); and by now, most of them are actually on camera. Because inside our club, we have some club rules. And Club rule #1: Social Anxiety is not a secret here, because we’re all on the same page. So many people have their cameras on. We welcome anxiety because we’re building a different relationship with it while we’re simultaneously chipping away at the causes of it so that it completely goes away over time.
So, I asked the group — ‘if you can relate to this feeling of being a loser, raise your hand’. All the hands went up. We also have people that are attending these live coaching sessions, but they don’t feel comfortable enough yet to be on camera. They either use their real name, or they just use an X, but we don’t see their faces. But in the zoom, you also have an option to raise your hand. So, all the hands went up there as well. So a very common issue.
So, I thought, ‘okay, great, we’ll tap with the group.’
So I guided my volunteer, my brave client, through a bit of tapping on shifting the idea and shifting the emotions connected to ‘I’m a loser because of this Social Anxiety.’
And I thought to myself, this will be very helpful for people that are watching my YouTube or podcasts as well. So, we’re going to do the same.
We’re going to do a bit of tapping on this idea that you’re a loser because of Social Anxiety.
It’s very easy.
Simply follow along with me.
If you’ve never seen EFT – it’s a simple tapping technique that reduces negative emotions and shifts limiting beliefs.
Check out other videos for the science behind it and why it works and how it works and so on.
But basically, monkey-see-monkey-do. Tap where I tap. Say what I say. That’s all you need to do.
Let’s start out by tuning into the problem.
Maybe just close your eyes, if that tunes you even better.
And I just want you to say: ‘I feel like a loser because of my social anxiety. Or, I am a loser because I have social anxiety. And then rate how true that feels to you on a scale of 0 to 10.
Now, you might actually feel emotions in your body as you do this.
You might feel shame. You might feel frustrated. You might feel anger. You might feel all sorts of emotions. Or it kind of feels true to you, but you don’t really feel many actual emotions in your body. That’s okay too!
You can just get a rough rating.
If I say my name is Sebastiaan – that feels really true; if I say my name is Brenda – that feels like nonsense.
If you have trouble writing, say your name out loud, my name is *boom*, that’s 10 out of 10 true.
Say something that’s complete nonsense – my name is (make up a name) and see what the difference is and then save the statement again, ‘I am a loser because I deal with Social Anxiety.’
That’ll give a good rough rating.
It doesn’t really matter. We can do it without the rating as well. But it’s interesting to see. Because you’re, you can imagine how you feel before it isn’t how if you have to do this.
So assuming you’ve got your number.
Start tapping on the side of the hand right here and simply follow along say what I say do what I do.
Even though I have this social anxiety problem
It makes me feel like a loser
I see others that don’t have it
And I notice that I do have it
And it makes me feel less than them
It makes me feel inferior
It makes me really judge myself as a loser
And all of that is going on
And it’s causing me to suffer even more than I already do
And I want to find a way to be a bit more compassionate towards myself
Even if that seems really difficult right now
Good. Tapping on the beginning of the eyebrows: I’m a loser because of this Social Anxiety
Side of the eyes: I shouldn’t have it
Under the eyes: It’s so pathetic
Under the nose: I’m so upset that I have this
Chin: I shouldn’t be dealing with this
Collarbone: Why am I still dealing with this?
Under the arms: It’s so weak
Liver point: I shouldn’t be having Social Anxiety
Wrist point: I so look down on myself because of that
Top of the head: I really reject myself because of this Social Anxiety
Beginning of the eyebrows: It’s so disgusting
Side of the eyes: I hate that I have this problem
Under the eyes: And why am I tolerating this?
Under the nose: It should be gone already
Chin: It means that there’s something wrong with me
Collarbone: That I’m broken
Under the arms: That I’m a weak pathetic loser
Wrist point: It really makes me judge myself
Top of the head: And I release all my resistances and aversions…to giving up that judgment
Beginning of the eyebrows: I should judge myself to be a loser
Side of the eyes: I should be really hard on myself
Under the eyes: I should beat myself up because of this
Under the nose: It’s so helpful
Chin: It really helps my Social Anxiety to beat myself to the ground
Collarbone: It’s such a confidence booster
Under the arms: I should be even harsher on myself
Liver point: Then I’ll feel even more at ease around others
Wrist point: The worse I feel about myself
Top of the head: The better I feel around others
Beginning of the eyebrows: So I’m going to keep beating myself up
Side of the eyes: I’m gonna keep calling myself a loser
Under the eyes: But is that really true?
Under the nose: Am I getting anxious on purpose?
Chin: Am I really in control when that when in that split second the anxiety gets activated?
Collarbone: Or is it something that just happens?
Under the arms: And it’s outside my control
Liver point: And it’s causing me to massively suffer
Wrist point: If someone I love would be dealing with this
If someone I love would be dealing with this…
(just think about someone who you love who could be dealing with this; imagine that they’re dealing with this)
Top of the head: Would I want to judge them harshly and kick them to the ground? Beginning of the eyebrows: Would I be saying you’re such a weak pathetic loser?
Side of the eyes: What would that do for that person…that I love?
Under the eyes: Would it make them feel better or worse?
Under the nose: I wonder what would happen…
Chin: …if I started being nice, kind, and caring to myself
Collarbone: And I really release all my resistances and aversions to doing that
Under the arms: And I release all my emotional attachments…to all of the reasons why I can’t or won’t be nice to myself
Liver point: Besides society agrees that I’m a loser when I feel uncomfortable or anxious
Wrist point: But do I want to listen to their judgments or mine?
Top of the head: I release all my emotional attachments…to I’m a loser because of Social Anxiety
Beginning of the eyebrows: It’s the cards that I’ve been dealt
Side of the eyes: I’m suffering from this problem
Under the eyes: There has been trauma or difficult times that caused this
Under the nose: And now I’m in the process of recovering from it
Chin: What if I respected myself for doing the work?
Collarbone: I want to be more compassionate towards myself
Under the arms: It might be what I’m dealing with
Liver point: But it doesn’t define who I am
Wrist point: I’m the person who’s choosing to deal with this
Top of the head: And I choose to respect myself for that…
…and treat myself with compassion
…without judgment right now.
Hope this has been helpful.
Check-in with your number; say it again: ‘I’m a loser because I have Social Anxiety.’
Check in to see what happened.
It can only be a couple of things that happen either:
But it’s likely that things have shifted for you.
What’s been your experience?
Just put it down below in the comment section, I’ll give you some feedback on what your experience has been.
There’s no right or wrong thing that you can write in the comment section, okay?
This is not a judgment call. You’re going to write down what your experience was, or what your experience has been.
Write it down in the comment section, I’ll be there to answer and give some insights, and so on.
So, I hope has been helpful.
If you want to see more videos like this, hit the subscribe button, wherever that is, I’ll figure it out one day.
And if this was very helpful for you, maybe share the video with someone who could benefit from this as well; someone who’s dealing with Social Anxiety.
This is Sebastian from social-anxiety-solutions.com
Bye for now.