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The three reasons why your changes are just temporary.
Are you feeling confused as to where and how to tap the right way?
Are you lost with words to say during a tapping session?
Do you feel like what you are doing right now is not working for you?
Or that you only feel temporary results?
In this episode, Sebastiaan will be explaining to you in great detail the three reasons why your changes are just temporary.
Watch the full video now!
PS: Pre-register for the next FREE 30 Day Social Confidence Challenge that will start on the 1st of January 2022
In there, you will be taught and be guided on your #JourneyToSocialEase and help you to overcome your limiting beliefs and help you develop self-compassion and self-confidence.
Go to: https://bit.ly/socialconfidencechallenge
Start your journey now!
EFT Tapping Myth #5: Tapping only gives you temporary relief.
Hey, my name is Sebastiaan from social-anxiety-solutions.com.
I am a social confidence coach and I help people feel calm, relaxed, and at ease in social situations to the point where there’s no anxiety and you could just be relaxed, be yourself, say whatever comes to mind, and so on.
I’ve been doing that as a coach for 12 years. I run a Social Confidence Club since 2 years and I do a podcast and I do this YouTube channel since 2009.
And on there, I talk a lot about tapping – this particular technique with which you can release excessive negative emotions and shift limiting beliefs.
Do you know the limiting beliefs?
The ones that are causing the perception of threat which activate the fight-flight-freeze response, which results in your bodily symptoms that we’ve labeled as anxiety?
So that technique (tapping), there are a lot of misconceptions about it.
And one of the misconceptions that I’m going to talk about today is the one that goes, “Well, tapping only gives me temporary results!”
Well, yes, that is the case sometimes when you’re not doing it properly.
And there are actually 3 reasons for why tapping only gives you temporary results.
Let’s get into them right now.
Reason #1: YOU ARE JUST TAPPING ON THE SURFACE LEVEL STUFF.
So if you go into your garden, say you have a garden for whatever bizarre reason, and you see the weeds in your garden and you’re like, “Oh no! I want to get rid of them. I just want the flowers. And I just want the plants, I just want the nice stuff. So let me cut the weeds.”
You take a scissor and you cut the weeds.
Alright, you get some relief because it looks a lot better and it seems like those weeds are gone.
But let’s say you go away for a holiday for a couple of days, maybe a week or so, you come back and “Holy crap, the weeds are back, they’ve grown back.”
That’s because you’ve not pulled the weeds from the root out and they will grow back.
It’s the same thing when you tap on surface-level stuff.
So a lot of the tap-alongs that you find online (including the ones that I present to you), usually just work on a surface-level stuff.
And they give you some relief, they get you an experience of the tapping, they get you to feel shifts in your body and go like, “Oh my God, this weird stuff actually works.”
And sometimes it reframes your perspective. It’s good but it’s not the ‘end all be all’.
And usually, it just works on a surface level and you’re not getting to the root of the issue.
What are the roots of the issues? They are the…
… that kind of stuff.
That’s the deeper work that needs to be done.
When you do that, that’s when you get permanent results, alright? Good. That’s reason #1.
Reason #2: YOU ARE NOT OVERCOMING THE SUBCONSCIOUS RESISTANCE TO CHANGE.
So, why do you think so many people when they make New Year’s Resolutions to lose weight, or stop smoking, or get into great shape or eat healthier, or whatever the case may be…
… why do they only hold on to their New Year’s Resolutions for just a few days?
And you can look up the statistics, it’s alarming. Almost nobody actually keeps up with it.
It’s because of subconscious resistance!
So yes, consciously, they want to lose the weight.
Yes, consciously, they want to smell good and not smell like smoke and be healthier and have better lungs and that kind of stuff. But that’s their conscious mind.
Their subconscious wants to continue doing what it has been doing, it likes to keep things the same. There’s control when you keep doing the same thing.
When you change something, you get out of control and there’s the unknown, the unpredictable, and that’s less safe and so there’s a general resistance to making change.
If that’s not addressed, then your changes won’t last, they will be temporary.
Also, that’s the general resistance to change.
There’s also such a thing as specific resistance to change.
Now, if you and I will keep it in the area of losing weight, okay, it’s maybe easier for you to understand because with Social Anxiety, it might be too deep, too close to it.
So if you are overweight, and if you were to lose weight, but when you were at your ideal weight, you were harassed to use an extreme example, then that’s a big NO, then that extra weight is protecting you.
And your subconscious is definitely not going to let you lose that weight because do you remember what happened last time when you were without the weight? You need the weight; the weight is keeping you safe.
It’s an extreme example, but the extreme example kind of makes a case for “Okay, so there can be an actual downside to accomplishing something that I want.”
Let’s put it in the area of money, alright?
Let’s say that you want to double your income or triple your income or 10x your income or whatever the case may be.
Consciously, you really want that, “Yes, I want that I want more money! I want to drive this car or go on this holiday or spend on this or not worry about that, and so on. Yes, I definitely want that!”
But your subconscious mind might be, “Well look, remember mom and dad, how they would always criticize rich people, you know how a lot of society hates rich people, you know what’s gonna happen when you make that amount of money, right?” That’s the downside.
So that’s going to be painful. So we’re going to not go there.
And so then your subconscious resists you going in that direction because it’s going to be painful. There’s more pain associated to accomplishing that goal than there is pleasure associated to accomplishing that goal.
Does that make sense? And so there’s resistance.
So whenever there’s a general resistance to change or there’s specific resistance to change, your subconscious is like, “Well, that outcome that you’re trying to get to is going to be dangerous for you.”
And you might make some changes and now you’re closer to the outcome, that doesn’t feel good.
So we’re going to get you back to the status quo, we’re going to get you back to where you were before. And so your changes are only temporary.
Now, if you neutralize the resistance to change and you can tap on the general resistance to change. And if you shift your perspective, if you heal the pain, that is if you neutralize the pain that is associated with the outcome that you’re after.
So being at your ideal weight, or making twice as much money, or social ease, then there is no pain associated with that outcome, then there is no resistance, then your changes are permanent.
That’s reason #2, why your changes are just temporary.
And then Reason #3, why changes are just temporary is the *drumroll*…
…that is because THERE’S MORE TO DO.
So often, when I see someone for a session, they would make a profound transformation in 90 minutes, and they feel so great, blah, blah, blah.
And I would see them a week later, and they would report to me, “Man, I felt so great at the end of that session and that good feeling lasted for about 2 days, but then the problem came back.”
And then I have to inform them, “Look, it’s not that the problem came back. It’s that whatever was left of the problem came back.”
So your problem might be this big. And then a session, we might make it this big, but it feels like a huge relief because you’ve not experienced that before.
And so things are different now and you’re in the after buzz of that relief, and your system is kind of in processing mode.
But then, a couple of days later, all the rest of the crap that was causing or contributing to your anxiety that was unaddressed is *boom*, placed back in your face.
And so, you are just presented with whatever is left to do.
Now, does that mean that you tap, you tap, you work on yourself and you get some relief, all the relief that you feel will just be temporary, and it will be this big problem, you keep feeling like sh*t, and there’s no change, no change, no change…
… and all of a sudden a profound change, all your anxiety is gone or you’ll be completely totally at ease?
No! It’s not like that at all.
It’s more like a progressive reduction of the anxiety, a progressive increase of self-acceptance, of self-esteem.
And you’re just being more at ease and calmer and having more life energy, and that kind of stuff.
So feeling less and less anxious, being bothered by anxiety a lot less, stop beating yourself up so much, have experiences where you used to be anxious and now you no longer feel anxious, have reduced anxiety…
… and this just keeps progressing keeps getting better and better and better.
But sometimes, there is a profound change. And then a couple of days later, it seems to come back.
But what comes back is actually what is left, and for you, it’s just a matter of continuing to chip away at the layers of the problem. It’s a journey. I talk about this a lot.
It’s a journey: the journey to social confidence.
You’re chipping away at all the layers until there are no layers left and then you’re at ease, but it’s a progressive journey.
Now speaking of progressive journey, we’re going to start a free 30-Day Social Confidence Challenge. It’s the 4th one of its kind, but it’s the 3rd year that we run it.
And we run it every year because it’s such a big success.
It’s such a big success because what you get in these 30 days for FREE is PROFOUND.
And you make a transformation provided that when you sign up, you actually do the exercises – VERY IMPORTANT.
Doing nothing is not going to change anything. And of the people that signed up in the previous years, but have never even took any action, do you believe that?
So if you decide to sign up, make sure that you actually follow along.
Now, what means follow along?
Every day, starting January 1, 2022, you’ll receive in your inbox a short video just like this, 10 minutes roughly (on average), and an email that goes along with it. And I’ll just be 10-15 minutes of your time.
And I’ll teach to you particular concepts that help you understand yourself better.
I’ll guide you through tapping routines.
I’ll present to you different stages of the journey.
I’ll help you overcome particular limiting beliefs.
I’ll help you shift feelings in your body.
You’ll feel less anxiety, you feel more comfortable, and you will develop a greater self-compassion.
… all of that within 30 days, just 10-15 minutes a day. That’s all that’s required.
That’s why this is such a hit.
So if you haven’t signed up for that yet, make sure that you do.
And when you sign up, make sure that once that January 1st hits, you’re like:
“Ah! That 30-Day Challenge. I’m going to do it. I’m going to commit myself to it. I’m going to actually show up for this and do this for myself. So that I’ll start 2022 off on the good foot so that I’ll have reduced anxiety and so that I can start chipping away the layers of this problem and so that my future can be with a lot more social ease and all the enjoyment that comes from that.”
So if you want that, go to bit.ly/socialconfidencechallenge.
Go there now.
See you soon. Bye for now!