Do I have to say the words out loud when I am tapping?
Ideally you say them out loud. But it is certainly not necessary. The words are there to keep you focused on the problem, which is usually the negative emotion or belief. As you keep focusing on the emotion (which is easier for most people by verbalising what’s going on in your mind) and you add tapping you will experience relief (unless there is resistance, you will learn more on this later).
Remember this formula: Focus + Tapping = Relief
You can whisper the words and the results will be the same. Once you get comfortable with the process, and you can concentrate well enough, you can even say them in your mind out loud, without verbally speaking them.
English is not my first language, do I need to translate everything? Will my results suffer?
That English is not your first language is not a problem. Your subconscious mind will do the translating for you automatically. If you understand what is being said, that’s enough.
I do all my tapping in English. But if you’re more comfortable with your own language, do it in your own language. My recommendation would be to use your own language when there are certain phrases that have more emotional meaning to you when than when you would say them in English.
For example, if you were called a certain swear word, or if there was a certain sentence used when you were teased, you might want to tap while verbalising that specific word or phrase. In all other situations, you can simply use English. I do all my sessions in English, and my coaches have all been English, and I’m Dutch and have English as my second language. It’s not a problem.
Do I have to believe in EFT tapping for it to work?
No. EFT is not a placebo, it even works when you don’t believe in it. If you want it to work, and you apply it in the right way, it will work for you. Being skeptical is normal. Try it out. As you notice it working for you, you will start to believe in it yourself as you can’t deny that something is happening within you (feel more relaxed, experience relief, feel lighter, less tense, etc.).
What do I do when EFT doesn’t work?
A. When you are tapping and the emotional intensity isn’t reducing there is always a reason for it. Most often that reason is that there is (subconscious) resistance to letting go of that emotion.
I’ve learned that for chronic or long-lasting problems, or complex issues (such as social anxiety disorder) there is almost always (subconscious) resistance. And this resistance stops EFT working dead in it’s tracks.
You know you are dealing with resistance when your emotional intensity level remains the same after a couple of rounds of tapping. There are other reasons why your emotional intensity level may stay the same, but resistance if the most common so let’s look at this first.
This resistance occurs when the subconscious mind perceives that it is better or safer to keep an issue than to eliminate it. Or, as the movie “What the *#@!# Do We Know?” demonstrates, our bodies can actually become addicted to a negative emotion or issue.
After a period of time we may become so accustomed to being angry, hurt, anxious, etc. that our body is reluctant to let the emotion go. The negative condition may be uncomfortable, but if we have been in that state for a while, it begins to feel “natural” to the body and the subconscious mind.
Consciously you really want to let go of that negative emotion or negative limiting belief, but if your subconscious thinks it’s not safe or beneficial to do so, it will stop EFT from working.
The subconscious might be thinking…
It won’t be safe for me to get over this issue
I don’t know who I’ll be when I’m no longer anxious
I won’t know how to act without the anxiety
I won’t have an excuse anymore for my life being a mess
I won’t get the sympathy and attention that I get now
Etc.
There is a whole section of the SCS dedicated to overcoming subconscious resistance. Here you address each possible subconscious thought that’s causing resistance and you change it around easily.
However, I want to share with you a few of the most common resistances that you run into. I share these because often when you find that your emotional intensity isn’t dropping (and therefore in most cases you are dealing with resistance) you can simply verbalise these common resistances while you tap in order to release the subconscious resistance.
By tapping and verbalising the resistance you’re making the subconscious resistance conscious. It’s like you’re communicating with the subconscious and you’re saying “hey, I know that you think releasing this isn’t safe beneficial, I’m aware that you think it’s better to keep this, but I’ve thought this over, I’m acknowledging the reasons for why you might think it’s not safe or beneficial, but I know this will be safe and beneficial.”.
In doing so, the subconscious is acknowledged, and the resistance releases. It’s hard to believe that it works, but try it and notice how you’ll start getting results where you formerly were stuck.
Once you’ve released the resistance you will find that you’re starting to get results with EFT.
Below are some of the most common resistances. When you’re not getting any results when tapping, recognise you’re probably dealing with resistance. To clear this resistance, simply state the resistance phrases out loud, one after the other, while tapping over the tapping points.
Resistance clearing phrases:
I don’t believe I can let go of this belief/emotion
I don’t deserve to let go of this belief/emotion
It’s not safe for me to let go of this belief/emotion
I’ll be a different person if I let go of this belief/emotion
It’s too hard for me, I can’t really let go of this belief/emotion
I can never let go of this belief/emotion
This belief/emotion is part of me
I haven’t got what it takes to let go of this belief/emotion
I can’t let go of this belief/emotion completely
If I let go of this belief/emotion I’ll lose my excuse
I refuse to let go of this belief/emotion
Example:
EB: I don’t believe I can let go of this belief/emotion
SE: I don’t deserve to let go of this belief/emotion
UE: It’s not safe for me to let go of this belief/emotion
UN: I’ll be a different person if I let go of this belief/emotion
CH: It’s too hard for me, I can’t really let go of this belief/emotion
CB: I can never let go of this belief/emotion
UA: This belief/emotion is part of me
LP: I haven’t got what it takes to let go of this belief/emotion
WR: I can’t let go of this belief/emotion completely
TH: If I let go of this belief/emotion I’ll lose my excuse
EB: I refuse to let go of this belief/emotion
After having mentioned all of the resistance phrases once the resistance is in 95% of the cases released. This however only released the resistance. Letting go of the resistance does not eliminate the emotion/belief itself. It only gets rid of the impediment to releasing the emotion/belief. You still need to tap while focus on the emotion/belief after releasing the resistance.
After you have neutralised the resistance, focus back on the belief/emotion and continue to tap until you have the results you want.
B. If the belief/emotion is not neutralising completely after you’ve released the possible resistance, there might be a, or some memories (Significant Emotional Events – S.E.E.’s) that need to be treated with EFT in order to let go of all the negative emotion/belief you are focusing on.
Say you are experiencing a feeling of sadness. The intensity is very strong 10 out of 10. You focus on the sadness and you tap. You get no results. You tap for a few rounds and the intensity is still the same. You think you might be dealing with resistance, so you tap over the tapping points while verbalising the resistance phrases. After having cleared the possible resistance, you return to focusing on the sadness while you tap. After a few rounds of tapping you still feel the same 10 out 10 sadness.
In this case, you are likely dealing with “old sadness”. In other words, there is an earlier memory where this sadness is stuck. In order to resolve the sadness, you will uncover the memory and neutralise the sadness there.