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In this post, I’m sharing with you why you are lucky to have social anxiety…
…and I know this sentence may get your attention.
So good, because I have some perspective for you to bring you a bit of hope about your situation.
Here’s what I’m covering:
So the header may piss you off, but stay tuned for a perspective-shifting concept.
One that may lead you down the road to start the process of overcoming social anxiety for good.
And the reward of overcoming your social anxiety cannot be measured. It’s a journey towards expanding your world more and more.
So start your journey to social confidence by gaining some perspective over your social anxiety situation.
Sebastiaan: Hi, my name is Sebastiaan van der Schrier. I’m a former social anxiety disorder sufferer. I’m a social confidence coach, I’ve been coaching hundreds of socially anxious clients for about 5,000 hours since 2009 and I run the popular podcast in iTunes called Social Anxiety Solutions where I interview psychologists, coaches, healers, psychotherapists, researchers and so on for the best social anxiety solutions. I’m the creator of social confidence system and the first ever online social conference community.
I want to talk to you today about this ballsy controversial headline that I have above this video that says something along the lines of “Do you have social anxiety? You’re lucky”.
This might piss you off because I’m sure that you don’t feel lucky and I want to talk about that a little bit so hopefully I can shift your perspective on this or at least give you a bit of a hope because that’s a valuable emotion to have.
So, yes, right now when you’re dealing with social anxiety it doesn’t feel lucky, it’s a crappy situation, it’s really difficult, it’s hard to deal with, it can feel really lonely because it’s not something that you easily talk about with other people or at least it wasn’t for me. For me it was like my big dark secret that I don’t want anyone to know that I was dealing with that and I tried to hide it with all I could, and it was just a very difficult time.
And at the time I was really fighting it and I had a real trouble coming to terms with what was going on for me and I was really judging myself that it was weak that I was dealing with this and it was pathetic and I saw these other guys and women have such a good time socially.
For them it was just free, they were laughing, they were joking around and were playful, they were having friends, they were connected, they were having good times and I was just jealous of that and I envied that. I could have that sometimes in very specific situations and when certain topics were discussed or when I was drunk.
But I envied that, that freedom that they had, that liberation like, “It’s not fair that I’m dealing with these issues”. I had a real hard time accepting that I was dealing with the social anxiety also. I had a big trouble accepting myself which is actually part of the problem that causes and contributes social anxiety.
So, how can I then now say well you’re lucky if you have social anxiety? Well, because of this.
If you’re having social anxiety to the degree that you’re looking for solutions for it and you’re looking for help that means that you’re in a pain and you’re going to have to, you’re kind of forced by that pain to look inside yourself and to start learning about your psychology, to start learning about how your brain works, how your emotions work, what’s going on.
That might sound like I don’t want to do that; I just want to live my life and I just want to be free and I just want to have a good time socially. I get it but there is a tremendous gift in that when you take that path and you do to work.
However, you might not right now be aware of that. That’s why I’m telling you.
When you start doing this work such a world is going to open up for you. How good you can feel about yourself, how satisfying it can feel to connect with other people, how joyful it can be to actually be around people joke around, how amazing it will be when you’ve been in a place of social anxiety for a long time and now after you’ve done the work you no longer are, how much more you appreciate it and how much more you are in tune with your sensitivity. And you can pick up another people’s moods and you can play in social situations and you can use your sense of a sense of humor and your intuition and your intelligence and its really wonderful.
Now what you’ll also most likely start to experience is that you’ll have a certain level of control of what you can accomplish and achieve in life when you start to shift and change your inner world, when you start to shift and change what’s inside and that is what I think is the true gift.
Now, it’s a bit hard to talk about my own life without coming off in a way that like I’m bragging like my life is so amazing and it’s perfect because it isn’t. I mean my life is pretty amazing but it isn’t perfect but it keeps improving, it keeps getting better because whenever I am aware of things that aren’t working for me I’ve developed the mindset and I’ve developed an understanding of what’s going on with me, what’s going on inside.
Because of this inner work I have the ability to work through problems. A problem doesn’t overwhelm me anymore to the point that I can’t deal with it. I have a much more helpful perspective on things. So, you’re lucky that you have social anxiety because you’re forced to do this inner work in order to get to the other side, which is going to make you more intuitive, it’s going to make you more self-aware which is a tremendous gift. It’s going to make you more mature, it’s going to make you feel better about yourself, it’s going to make you more resilient, it’s going to open up your mind about the opportunities and possibilities that there are, it’s going to make you a lot more emotionally intelligent.
These are tremendous gifts in life, these are fantastic gifts that can help you be more successful in life in the way that is important for you. Whether that is creating an amazing relationship, starting a family and raising healthy kids, whether that is starting your business, whatever. Social anxiety itself it’s a very painful experience but there is a gift in that pain.
I hope this helps you a bit with having a perspective like, “Okay, this is a really crappy situation”. But what my coach always said to me when I went through really tough, tough times she said, “Life’s biggest challenges holds life’s biggest rewards”.
Social anxiety – super-massive big challenge for you. That means there’s a super big massive reward in it for you when you do to work to move through it. So, I’ll leave you with that thought.
All right, so if you want more of this subscribe here, here, here or go check out my podcast it’s called Social Anxiety Solutions in iTunes.
Hit this link under this video where you can get my free social confidence starter kit to get you started on that journey where I teach you the technique that I use to overcome my own social anxiety without forcefully facing my fears and it’s not just changing your thoughts, this is not CBT what I’m teaching. I’m advocating a combination of the best of traditional psychology combined with the energy psychology, which is really exciting, really effective, really amazing.
I share these free techniques in these 10 short videos consisting social confidence starter kit and I also have an e-book in there like 20 pages where I explain to you exactly how you can get to a place where you are anxiety free.
Check that under the video and I hope it’s been helpful and thank you for being here and getting into this work. Yeah, liberation. All right, talk to you soon. Bye-bye.