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Dealing with social anxiety is extremely frustrating and challenging.
Maybe you just found out that what you’ve been feeling is actually something that has a name; social anxiety disorder. Maybe you feel helpless and hopeless and don‘t know what to do or where to go. Or maybe you are already far in your journey to becoming socially confident.
Wherever you are now, this article will provide you with helpful advice for dealing with social anxiety.
Below you will find mindsets, strategies and approaches to immediately help you out. No matter how bad your social anxiety disorder is at present…
One important thing in dealing with social anxiety is understanding what it is. It is a mental disorder. There is something going on in your brain that makes you experience social anxiety.
The social anxiety you experience is not you, it’s the expression of the mental disorder.
The real you experiences the world through the lens of social anxiety. The lens of social anxiety through which you experience reality is caused by the things going on in your brain.
And the good thing is, you can change your brain!
But doing so is not something that will happen in a few days. It’s a process. And how long it takes is dependent on factors like your motivation, the severity of your social anxiety disorder, the kind of therapy you are using and many other factors.
But what you have to understand is that it’s a journey to go from social phobia to social confidence. See it like this. Make it your mission in life until you get where you want to be.
Now if you see it as a journey this will help you in dealing with social anxiety. Because you are on the path. You can look back and see where you had to come from starting out on the journey. And you can look forward and see where you are heading to.
When you get a set-back you fall a little back, but you are always on the path, focusing on achieving your end result.
Speaking of an end result…
In order to get what you want you first need to figure out what it is that you want. If you are now answering
“I want to overcome my social phobia, that is what I want”
You are not really accurate enough. Because you are merely stating what you don’t want to experience anymore; the social anxiety disorder. So you’re focused on what you don’t want instead of what you do want.
And the law of attraction states that what you focus on expands… So get a positive goal!
When we give our minds a clear goal our brain works as a heat seeking missile towards that goal. It’s very motivating. So start thinking about what exactly it is that you want.
What do you want your life to look like when you are free of social anxiety?
Be as specific as possible. Then create a vision of your perfect social life.
How will you feel every day? What clothes will you wear? What does your social circle look like? How about your dating life? What things do you do from day to day? What do your weekends look like? Etc.
Once you have your goal, make it a positive affirmation.
Maybe “I feel confident in all social situations and I have the social skills and social life I truly want”
Since you are currently still dealing with social anxiety you experience a lot of negative thinking. To counter this, you can now think of your end goal every time negative thoughts come up. This might not be very easy, but at least you now have a default thing to think of.
And by the way, when you think of your goal, don’t think you will never make it. Instead look where you had to come from and affirm to yourself that you will get there eventually if you keep going.
You will always get to your goal if you keep trying and never give up. And there are many possible solutions to solving social anxiety for good.
There are quite a bit of simple, yet powerful things you can do that immediately help you in dealing with social anxiety. I’ve bullet pointed them for you below.
Get some defaults It might very well be possible that due to your social anxiety disorder your conversation skills might not be as good as you want them to be. And this causes you extra anxiety, the not knowing what to say and do.That’s why I recommend you to think of the situations you find yourself in most often, and prepare beforehand how you are going to respond by default.
So how will you for example respond when someone asks you how you’re doing? And what will you do and say when someone introduces him/her-self to you? Or how will you end a conversation politely?
Think of your default responses and behaviors in advance and you feel less anxious when the situation occurs. Why? Because you already know what you are going to do!
Social anxiety medication Now I am not a fan of medication. Not at all actually, but when you see there’s no way out, prescribed medication by your health care professional might help you dealing with social anxiety more easily until you have found a way to conquer it.
Deep breathing When you are anxious you are breathing more shallow. So to counter that, start breathing very deeply. As much air in as possible. Hold for one second. All the way out. Hold for one second. Repeat. After 5-10 breaths you feel way more calm and relaxed.
Think positive Argghh! the old “Just be positive advice”… Not again!
I know, it’s annoying, especially if it’s super challenging to be positive for you right now. But thoughts cause feelings, so choose your thoughts wisely.! Because remember that you can really choose your thoughts, even if it doesn’t appear so. Positive affirmations and afformations will make it much easier for you to think positively.
Distract yourself When you are in a very anxious mood, distract yourself! Call someone, watch some stand-up comedy, read something motivational… Anything! You want to break the pattern of feeling anxious, so do something different than sitting and experiencing anxiety.
Get moving Take a walk! Or run up and down the stairs. Just move your body as you can‘t feel nervous when you are using the energy up for some form of activity. Ever noticed that you‘re not nervous when you are running or exercising heavily?
Adjust your body language When you are looking down, when you’re hunched over and have weak posture, your body is full of anxiety. The way you hold your body is related to the amount of anxiety you experience.
So try to stand tall. Look up and held your head up high. Relax your jaw muscles. Take up space when you are sitting down and lean back.
Live healthy I can remember that any time I didn’t sleep much and lived unhealthy, my social anxiety was at it’s worst. So get enough sleep. Exercise. Don’t drink coffee or limit your amount of caffeine intake. And eat healthy. Having a lot of energy makes dealing with social anxiety a lot easier.
Get a support group Having some people to talk about your problems and feelings can help you a lot. Even if it’s just online. Join a forum. Or if possible, join group therapy for social anxiety.
Dealing with social anxiety can be extremely frustrating. Sometimes you wonder if you will ever get over it. Maybe you have even decided that you’ll live with it. If so, think again! There are solutions out there, it is possible to overcome it.
Study, apply, get help. Do anything and everything in your power to become socially confident. You deserve that same happy social life that everyone else does. And it’s possible for you too.
If you want to completely rewire your brain and thinking and so overcome your social anxiety, my Social Confidence System is exactly designed to achieve that in an as effective as possible manner.
From the ease of sitting behind your own PC I will guide you using EFT through articles, audios and videos taking you systematically from social anxiety all the way to social confidence.