Become Comfortable Starting A Conversation With Anyone Part 3/3:
Let me tell you my journey to becoming comfortable asking conversation starter questions…
I tell this so you have an idea on what to expect.
Because it was definitely a little challenging to ask conversation starter questions in the beginning…
I wasn’t used to asking people how they were doing, and that showed…
I was hoping for a positive reaction and attached a lot of meaning to it. People noticed that, so I came of a little eager.
This will most likely happen to you as well. Accept that.
This is just because you are not comfortable with this new behavior yet. And because you are hoping to get a positive response too much. But this will get better soon.
Improvement follows quickly if you keep using your conversations starter questions every single time.
Besides, I noticed that when you are friendly -even though you’re nervous about it- most people appreciate the effort and will be friendly back to you.
For me asking conversation starter questions became a lot easier after just a few days.
After a week or two it started to feel comfortable, and after a month it felt completely natural.
And now I wonder why people still say the simple “hello” and not put a short question in their conversation starter.
So that’s basically how I started it. I just said “hey, how’s it going?” to everyone I met.
So when you want to do this as well, say your conversation starter questions to everyone you meet!
This means that when you buy something, you say “hey, how’s it going?” to greet the person behind the counter.
When you lock eyes with someone, blurt it out!
When you get introduced to someone, say it.
When you walk past someone, greet them with your little friendly way of saying hello.
And keep walking, get over needing a positive response. Unless they stop you and want to talk to you of course!
You should be starting a conversation with as many people as possible in as many different situations as you find yourself in.
And the more you do it, the more times per day you do it, the faster it becomes comfortable and natural for you.
4 Short Tips…
- Smile when you are asking people how they’re doing. Smile in approval, not because you think they’re funny looking…
- Expect that they’re going to ask the same back! To which you can reply “I’m doing great, thanks”
- Mentally rehearse. In your mind go over exactly how you want it to go. Mentally rehearse your perfect scenario. Imagine how you’re going to say it. See the person responding positively. Feel good about it. Etc.Do this often. When you get a negative response, mentally rehearse how you want it to work out the next time. Keep doing this until you get the results you want consistently.
- Every time you indeed say your conversation starter question and you walk away from the situation…… reward yourself!
Whether you got a positive reaction or not!
After you have mastered asking one of the conversation starter questions in particular (“hey, how‘s it going?” for example), in about a month or so -depending on how often you practice-, you can start expanding your social skills by using more and more different/funny/unique conversation starter questions.
Go to “Become Comfortable Starting A Conversation With Anyone”
Part 1/3: Asking Questions To Start Conversation?!
Go to “Become Comfortable Starting A Conversation With Anyone”
Part 2/3: Conversation Starters For Every Situation
RELATED PAGES:
“Starting Conversations 101”
Go to Part 1/4: Creating Interesting Conversation Starters
Go to Part 2/4: Steps To Creating Your Own Good Conversation Starters
Go to Part 3/4: How To Start Conversations
Go to Part 4/4: Mentally Rehearse Your Conversation Openers
“Conversation Topics Mastery”
Go to Part 1/2: 24 Interesting Conversation Topics
Go to Part 2/2: Conversation Exercises For Conversation Confidence
“Conversation Questions Mastery”
Go to Part 1/2: Excellent Conversation Questions For Conversational Mastery
Go to Part 2/2: Questions To Keep Conversation Going?
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