In this post…
Do you find yourself procrastinating to take action to overcome your social anxiety?
Go from not feeling like taking any steps towards overcoming social anxiety to taking some action. And potentially removing the blocks keeping you from wanting to take action.
Learn why you can’t find the time, tap-along to open the door to do something about this problem, and take action (even if it is only a bit).
You can return to this tap-along every time you’re experiencing this procrastination problem.
Sebastiaan: Hello, it is me. Hello, my name is Sebastiaan from social-anxiety-solutions.com. I am a former social anxiety disorder sufferer and a social confidence coach and I help people feel calm and relaxed and comfortable and at ease in social situations, so they can have a good time and enjoy themselves and be themselves without worrying about what people think and so they don’t have to alter their behavior to try to you know, get people to like them. And they can just you know, be who they really are and have a good time.
Anyway, so, I run a podcast where I interview psychologists, coaches, healers psychotherapists, best-selling authors and I do his YouTube channel. And so, every week I have a particular topic.
And the topic of this week is drum roll – “I don’t have any time to overcome my social anxiety”. So, I’ve heard this a couple of times now and I thought I should talk to it. So, we all have busy lives we all got stuff going on, but I’ve heard from a couple of people now “Yeah, I don’t have time to do these exercises to overcome my social anxiety”.
And I just want to tell you if you find yourself procrastinating a lot, if you find yourself being lazy, when it’s about time to do some exercise to get rid of your social anxiety, and I’m not talking about walking up to people and asking for time and like face your fears kind of old paradigm kind of stuff.
I’m talking about new paradigm. You know using energy psychology to heal your emotional wounds so you can feel safe being yourself – That kind of inner work.
If you find yourself coming up with any conceivable excuse to not do those exercises and you’re every now and then making attempts to resolve your social anxiety then two things – One you’re dealing with resistance.
So, one part of you definitely wants to be free of your social anxiety but there’s another part of you, the deeper part of you your subconscious mind that’s saying “No, we’re not gonna get rid of your social anxiety you need your anxiety, it’s protecting you”.
And consciously that might not make a lot of sense at all. You’re like “Hey man my social anxiety really sucks, it limits my potential, I can’t be myself and socialize to save my life with that anxiety. It limits my relationships, it’s horrible, I feel those sensations I don’t want to feel that. Why the hell would this be protecting me?”
Well, think about it. Your brain in a social situation it’s seeing potential threats, so your brain is pretty much if you know, rejection for example, let’s take a common fear of people with social anxiety.
If you are hypersensitive to rejection then you your brain is gonna say “Hey dude or hey girl, be careful because this situation that you’re in right now is just like that really painful one in the past where you got rejected. So, let me warn you about this threat that is potentially gonna happen because you might experience all that pain that you had back there in this situation all over again”.
So, your brain is seeing these threats and dangers because of your past experiences and not just some trauma that you had you know when you were 15.
Also, the repetitive negative experiences from early childhood. So for example, having an alcoholic mom or very critical parents or overprotective parents or you know being compared, not measuring up or whatever the case may be. There’s a variety of common scenarios but those are a few.
And so, since your brain is seeing threats, it has to warn you. It must do that because it’s prime directive, the subconscious brain’s main goal is to keep you safe to make sure that we survive. And so when you start doing exercises to get rid of that anxiety that part of your brain is gonna say “Whoa, careful, that’s not a good idea. That’s gonna lead to more danger. That’s gonna lead to more pain. So, stop that. Let me just exercise my resistance, the subconscious resistance, by sabotaging you.”
And that self-sabotage takes the form of feeling lazy, procrastinating working on the wrong thing at the wrong time, having a million excuses not doing what you’re supposed to be doing etc.
So, that is actually your subconscious mind doing its job. So, if you find that to be the case then now you know what it is.
How to overcome is a different story. That’s a bit beyond this video but we will actually do a real quick tap along on that.
Now this tap-along might not solve the problem permanently, but it will it will open the way. It will at least temporarily silence that subconscious. So, what we’re gonna do is we’re just gonna voice the subconscious’ most common resistances. So, just follow along with me. You can’t do this wrong it’s very simple even if you don’t know the tapping just follow along with me. Tap where I tap repeat after me out loud what I say. Okay, here we go.
Just say “Even though I have this social anxiety problem and it really sucks, it limits my potential. I can’t socialize with this and my relationships are severely limited, yet a part of me doesn’t want to let go of this social anxiety. Maybe it’s not safe for me to be socially at ease. It’s dangerous to be without anxiety. I don’t deserve to be socially confident. I’m so used to being anxious. I wouldn’t know who I would be without it. So, I refused to let go of my social anxiety for whatever reason and I want to try to accept myself anyway.
Shake out your hands, take a deep breath, relax. Now sometimes you actually notice shifting your body from just doing this like 1-minute tap along voicing to resist the possible resistances and other times you hardly feel anything but at least a window to working on the problem has now been opened.
And you can repeat this exercise, this simple tap-along, every time you notice yourself having resistance, okay?
Now another thing I want to say point two is even though you experienced this resistance you can still push yourself a little bit to do your tapping exercise.
You can go and you know go to YouTube look up one of these videos and tap along with it or you can push yourself to do a little bit of tapping you can push yourself to do a tiny little bit so even though you have that resistance going on, just slap yourself and do it anyway, okay?
You can push yourself beyond a little bit of resistance to do the thing that’s going to clear the resistance, okay?
Alright, that’s my tip of the week.
Alright, I hope this has been helpful. This is just a quick little thing. I release these videos every Thursday. You can find it here, you can subscribe here or wherever it is and if you’re interested in learning how to overcome your social anxiety using tapping and energy psychology, I specialize in combining both Western traditional psychology and Eastern energy psychology. And by combining these two fields you can get incredible results.
I’ve overcome my own social anxiety thanks to using this combination and the help of a bunch of brilliant therapists. I’ve worked with hundreds of socially anxious clients helping them to social confidence some testimonials of these guys that I’ve helped are on my podcast or on this YouTube channel and you can really overcome your social anxiety.
In fact, about 35% of the people that I work with resolves it within three sessions. That’s just three weeks four you know often decades-long social anxiety. So, this stuff is really amazing if you aim it at the right targets.
So, tapping in and of itself it’s a super simple technique, you can learn in a 5-10 minutes. I teach it to you on my website but knowing what to aim it at how to address it properly, how to find the origins of the beliefs that are responsible for the perception of danger and deal with the emotional wounds from the past properly, that’s a whole different story. It takes time to learn that, it takes time how to how to figure out how to use EFT to overcome your social anxiety completely.
And you know I run an online social confidence community, but it’s not open for registration now, but that’s one place where you can learn it and currently, I am still available for coaching. There’s a bit of a waiting list but I’m still available for coaching. So, if you’re interested go to my website. If you want to get a free social confidence starter kit also go to my website and it’s a link here under this video.
I hope that’s been helpful and leave a comment or a question or whatever and appreciate you being here and take some action to get rid of that social anxiety, so you can just be yourself and have a good time. Alright, thank you. Bye, bye.