Steps To Creating Your Own Good Conversation Starters
Starting Conversations 101
Part 2/4
So here are the steps to creating your own good conversation starters:
Take a week or so and simply do all the things that you normally do. Go to all the places and situations that are common in your life.
And bring a notepad and a pen.
You will find yourself in situations where you meet people and have the opportunity to talk to them.
Now instead of just being there and doing what you normally do, make a slight change.
Instead of not taking any action, start observing people.
Don’t worry about what to say because you do not have to come up with good conversation starters here just yet!
You just have to notice what is happening around you. Your mission here is to first just observe as much as you can.
And while you are in one of these situations where you are observing, pull out your notebook and pen. And then ask yourself:
- What is happening around me? What is the thing that is obvious, but that no one speaks of?
- What is a specific person doing? What is his/her purpose being out here?
- What are the facial expressions of the people around me? What emotions are on their face? What might they be thinking?
- What are people wearing? Something unusual? Are they trying to communicate something?
- What is obvious about the environment? What stands out?
The answers to these questions are giving you plenty of material to develop your good conversation starters.
Some Examples Of Good Conversation Starters:
- You look (like) X (You look like you‘ve been shopping for ages. Looking for anything special?)
- How’s it going today?
- (Sarcastically) Thank god we don’t have to wait long… Are you cooking something special?
- That food smells sooo good, can’t wait to munch out. Do you like X?
- Ow man, they’re losing again, the suck this season. Who scored the 0-1?
- I love your shoes, they’re awesome. Where did you get those?
Good conversation starters can literally be anything. What you say depends on your personality of course, so experiment a bit and see what works best for you.
So now when you are in the situation and you’re observing and have your notepad and pen ready...
Go over the observation questions above and answer the ones that you can most easily answer and write them down on your notepad.
Then go to the next situation.
Do this for 10 situations. My advice would be to not rush it. Do one or two per day.
Once you’ve done your day task -your one or two extensive observations in common situations-, go home. Then in the comfort of your own home think of what could’ve been good conversation starters.
In my opinion, most casual, good conversation starters begin with a comment, followed up by a question.
You share you’re social, and then you ask them something in a friendly way.
If you have thought of something to say in a specific situation, and it’s not a question but a comment...
... add a question to it if possible.
Imagine yourself back in that situation, think of what you were observing and be creative.
Use these strategies for as long as you need. After a while you’ll notice you don’t need your good conversation starters that you created anymore; You’ll just say whatever is on your mind because it has become a habit!
Go to Starting Conversations 101 part 3/4:
"How To Start Conversations"
Go to Starting Conversations 101 part 4/4:
"Mentally Rehearse Your Conversation Openers"
Go to Starting Conversations 101 part 1/4:
Creating Interesting Conversation Starters
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Part 1/3: Asking Questions To Start Conversation?!
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Part 2/3: Conversation Starters For Every Situation
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Part 3/3: Asking Conversation Starter Questions...
"Conversation Topics Mastery"
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Part 1/2: 24 Interesting Conversation Topics
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Part 2/2: Conversation Exercises For Conversation Confidence
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Part 1/2: Excellent Conversation Questions For Conversational Mastery
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Part 2/2: Questions To Keep Conversation Going?
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