Sebastiaan: Hi, my name is Sebastiaan from socialanxietysolutions.com. I help people with social anxiety feel calm and relaxed in social situations, so they can freely express themselves, connect with others and build a satisfying social life. And in this video, I’m going to share with you how to find an awesome therapist to help you overcome your social anxiety.

When I say awesome therapists I’m mostly talking about a therapist who has incorporated EFT tapping into their practice or is mainly operating as an EFT practitioner.

So, let’s get into that. Okay, real quick if you don’t know what the EFT is or is the first video that you see, EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques and it’s a psychological form of acupuncture but instead of using needles you tap with the tips of your fingers for the specific acupressure points in the body.

Now it looks pretty silly. If you see this for the first time you’re probably like “What the hell is that?” But it’s a very effective technique to let go of excessive negative emotions. It’s scientifically proved to be effective to use the millions of people worldwide, it’s been on a… it’s been on Oprah, Oprah Magazine, Psychology Today, over a hundred peer-reviewed studies have been done on it, it’s been with dr. Oz, Huffington Post, you name it.  It’s getting bigger and bigger because it’s very effective.

So, in short what is it? It’s a silly-looking tapping technique that actually releases excessive negative emotions. And of course, that’s something you’re very much dealing with when you’re experiencing social anxiety. So, it’s a very effective tool to overcome social anxiety.

When to get help

Now the tapping you can already make quite a bit of progress just working on yourself doing, doing tapping by yourself. You know, I have a lot of videos where I… where I talk about it, I offer a free video series on my website where you can start out with it and you know, people said that already reduces some of their social anxiety, had someone recently say that they reduced 40% of their social anxiety just with those videos and the instructions. So, it can already be very effective.

However, when should you reach out to work with a practitioner and why should you do that? I’ll get into that later.

And how should you do that? I’ll get into that later as well.

So, why? You know, at what point should you reach out?

Well, when you are not getting any results with it because there are reasons for it or when you’ve made some progress already but you’ve kind of plateaued or when you want to work with someone who’s kind of like your partner on the journey or when you want to get the deepest and the fastest results. So, those are… those are some good reasons.

Alright. Let’s get into the…

Six main benefits of working with a great practitioner

Now, the good therapist will:

#1 Provide a safe space for you to explore and clear your emotions in

Now while the tapping is very effective in releasing your emotions, there are places that you’re probably maybe consciously you want to go there but subconsciously, the deeper part of you is not allowing you to go to certain places. And you might be… you might be afraid to address certain things on your own. There’s maybe certain trauma that’s too excessive. And so, we work with a practitioner, he or she creates a safe space for you to explore that.

You have a partnership now and you know, I worked with a lot of coaches and mentors and practitioners myself like a whole army of them and I still have a coach and I still have a mentor that I see weekly. Not for social anxiety but for other stuff. And it’s beyond helpful because what they do is they provide a like an environment where I can be myself. Where I feel safe, I know that they care about me, it’s a place of non-judgment, you know, they appreciate that I’m doing my inner work in order to improve myself, be a better person, you know, I mean I’m encouraged, I’m supported and I’m accepted as I am you know. And that’s just whatever I bring to the table, whatever, whatever problem I bring to the table I’m not judged for it and I’m helped in resolving it.

And that’s a very safe, a reassuring feeling to the point where I look forward to a session because it’s like, “Oh, great. Now we can kind of go over my problem together, look at it pick it apart, deal with it, move on to the next stage.”

So, you know, the good practitioner provides a safe space where you can show up and you know, do your healing work, go to the places whether you’re scared to go. And a good practitioner will go there without you experiencing excessive pain because thanks to the tapping there are ways of working around the problem, taking up the adjust first and then once you get to the core of the problem, the core of the problem isn’t so painful anymore to start with and then you can actually deal with the deepest root of it.

#2 A good practitioner provides perspective

Now, a good practitioner will you know, help you see how you’ve come to deal with the problem that you’re dealing with today. So, for example, if you’re going to a party and you are really afraid that you know, that these kinds of people are there because you know, this guy and this girl and that guy when you’re around them you feel really, really super anxious. The moment they come into the room you don’t know why your practitioner might point out that you know, you’re feeling less than them. You’re not feeling like you’re on equal footing. And then come to “Alright, well, how is that possible? What are you believing? – Oh, well, I believe that I’m not good enough. – Oh, okay. Well, you must have picked that up somewhere?”

Well, and then find out that in your early childhood your dad was very critical of you. Your mom was very loving, but your dad was very critical of you, you could never do anything right and was very strict with you and so. And it happened over a period of time. And your practitioner will help you sees like, “Hey, this experience is because of this belief and that led back to these repetitive negative experiences in early childhood and then you formed that belief and then later on you confirmed that belief with you know, this experience when you were you know, 12 and you know, you didn’t make it to the higher education others did or whatever it is, you know.” And that being pointed out can be very helpful when it’s done in the right way and at the right time. So, provide, providing perspective.

Another way that a petitioner might provide perspective is by pointing things out that you might already know but have not incorporated subconsciously yet. So, for example, you might know that you’re not your social anxiety. You might know that “Hey, I’m a person I have this challenge called social anxiety”. But you might have internalized it to be something that you are. So, I am the anxious person – You might have identified yourself with that.

A good practitioner will point out like, “Hey, you’re not your social anxiety, you are just dealing with this problem”. And they use the tapping to incorporate that understanding, so that you dissociate who you are from the anxiety that you’re dealing with, so that you can overcome it and then even of itself will give you a profound relief already. So, that’s just one example.

Another example in which practitioner might provide perspective is by helping you see certain qualities within yourself that you’re not recognizing yet or not as much yet. So, for example… This is a very noisy chair… For example, when I started working with my coach seven-eight years ago, she pointed out my intelligence. I’m like okay that’s something quite new to me. I like hearing it, but you know, because where I come from you know, my household that was never something that was pointed out. And when I was growing up I smoked a lot of weed and I did pretty stupid stuff and that was pointed out over and over.

So, my whole idea of who I was, and the attribute of intelligence wasn’t really something that I recognized it in myself. And as my coach pointed it out I started to notice and appreciate that in myself a lot more which is very helpful.

Another thing good practitioner will do is he or she will ask you empowering questions about yourself, about others and about the world for you to come to your own insights and shifts in how you see yourself and others in the world.

And you know, a good practitioner will have the right timing do it in the right way and you know, often use the tapping within that to kind of shift that and lock that into gear. You know, that empowering perspective will then be you know, locked into your subconscious and operate there.

And you know, other ways of offering perspective by practitioner is sharing. And not every practitioner does this, but I like this a lot, is sharing stories that are relatable and sharing metaphors. And that’s you know, when that happens to you maybe and maybe you know as you’re the client and you have the practitioner, you can kind of relate to the story, you can relate to the metaphor, you kind of get an “Aha” and that’s kind of like a positive seed is being planted in your mind. You revisit that later on and it will come back. And it’s like, it’s a positive virus that’s putting your mind because every time you revisit that, it’s reframed and it just grows and it’s a beautiful thing.

And I guess finally there are way, way more things but just these are just a couple of things that came to mind as I was putting this video together as to how a practitioner offers perspective and that is by helping you find the humor in your suffering, your dark side, your problems, your situation, yourself. Because when you’re able to laugh at yourself and at your situation and so on, everything becomes a lot lighter. You don’t take yourself so seriously, you don’t take life so seriously and that energy is a real nice and easy place from which change can happen a lot easier. And in fact, that in and of itself has changed, so, there we go.

#3 The good practitioner keeps you realistically optimistic

Alright. Well, typically when I see clients for the first time you know, they might have seen a bunch of videos, they might have listened to some podcasts and maybe they’re already have been optimistic about what can happen – great. But I also work with people that you know, have almost seen none of that and then just reach out and they start out with “Maybe this could work for me but I’m not so sure. I’m just gonna give it a try and see how I go”. And it’s important for me to help people get to the place where they actually believe that they can change.

So, you know, if you’re… if you feel that “Wow, I absolutely cannot change. I’m afraid I’ll never overcome this, you know, this won’t work for me”, those thoughts and those feelings are actually tappable issues. Those are things that you can focus on specifically while you stimulate these tapping points.

And so, a good practitioner will do that with his or her client. They will help them move away from the hopeless feeling from the despair, from the pessimism and will move them into a place of “Oh, okay. This can actually work for me. Hey, I’m making progress”. Also, as you start making changes it’s gonna go like, “Alright, I do some work, I make improvement, hey, hey, I feel less anxious more comfortable and more at ease with myself. I’m making improvement, great”. – Make some more improvement. Wow, this is going great. And then, “Oh, I got triggered again. I felt back, no… Disaster. What am I gonna do now? Nothing works for me. I’ll never overcome my social anxiety”.

And you know, I’m making fun of this because I’ve seen it so much and I’ve experienced it many, many times. And at the time I would fall back at like, “Oh, no… See, I can’t overcome it. Man, what a bummer.” But what actually happens in those moments I’ve realized is something gets triggered and a deeper issue that wasn’t yet to the surface has now revealed itself which becomes ready for resolution and when you then move through that way your practitioner you, you know, you make even bigger progress.

So, it’s not really that you’re falling back, something it’s just popped up. Now that’s a particular perspective that a practitioner will give you and he kind of helps you stay motivated, stay you know, stay realistically optimistic. You might plateau and well, you know, practitioner will look at that and he will say “Alright, well, that’s because of this and that’s because of that” and you know, by staying in this realistically optimistic space you’ll keep going until you are at where you want to be which is hopefully free of anxiety, comfortable and at ease socially and you know, just connecting with people having a good time having a satisfying social life.

#4 A great practitioner will keep you focused on your goal

Now, setting the goal is one thing but actually investing in working with someone else to move towards your goal is a whole other thing because that commitment that that requires does something to you psychologically. You know, now, you have your goal and you’re committed to it. You’re invested in it. Your money is in it. You know, your time is in it. Your energy is in it.

So, then your brain works like a heat-seeking missile aiming you toward that goal and it will pick up you know, circumstances, helpful resources inside whatever it can in order to help you propel you towards that goal. And a good practitioner will help bringing back that goal to you to your awareness as “Hey, remember where we’re going. Remember what our aim is”. Because it’s not just stop being anxious, it’s actually to know you’re moving forward toward something. Stop being anxious, it’s just the whip, we also want the carrot and the carrot is “Oh, wow. I actually get to freely speak my mind. I get to have fun socially. I get to look forward to socializing. I get to have friends that I hang out with and I’m actually at ease and we have a good time and you know, I get to explore these things with a bunch of friends or I can go out of my own and whatever. I have a weekend that is satisfying to me. I have friendships that I enjoy etc.” So, a good practitioner will bring these things back and keep you focused on that.

#5 Good practitioner will be your guide on your journey

Now as you start overcoming your social anxiety it typically will be a bit of a journey. Alright, you know, about 30% of the people resolve their social anxiety within three sessions. It means that the other 70% doesn’t resolve it within three sessions and for them it takes a little bit longer. That said even if it’s just three sessions that’s still three weeks and that’s still a journey you know, regardless of how long the journey is, it’s still going to be a journey. And what your practitioner will do, good practitioner will do is he will support you, he will guide you he will encourage you or she, right, depending on the boy or girl. And that’s very reassuring.

You know, for me and knowing that if something comes up in the week I can go to my practitioner, I can go to my coach I can go to my mentor and say, “Hey, let’s look at this and we’ll look at it together”. Like that companionship, that connection that is that is very reassuring having someone to walk with you to walk alongside you and kind of point out “Don’t go there, that’s not good, you know, how about we go there? What do you think of doing this?” And it’s like a support, it’s a safe cocoon that you’re in while you’re on this adventure that has ups and downs and challenges but that you that you can move through these challenges together. That’s very, very reassuring and very nice. And it’s also you get to share your successes, you know, your petitioner is excited about your success helps you through the blocks and the challenges and it’s really great.

#6 A great practitioner will help you get better results faster

Now when we work on our own stuff without the help of someone else there’s a challenge that we’re dealing with and that challenge is called subconscious blind spots. So, we have a conscious mind which is in charge about 5% of the time, we have a subconscious mind which is in charge about 95% of the time. And typically, when we want something consciously we don’t have it in our life, social confidence for example, then the deeper part of her mind the subconscious mind is not agreeing with our conscious desire. And so, resists that. And when it resists what you consciously want, it will sabotage your conscious efforts in order to get there.

And it does that by you know, over in a variety of ways. But one of the ways that it does that is by coming up with blind spots. So, you’re trying to resolve a particular issue, but you can’t just can’t seem to do it because your subconscious is not allowing you to go to the right places in order to heal that.

Okay. Now, when you work with a practitioner, the practitioner is having the outside perspective. It is you know, it can see all of what’s going on. When I work with a person, when I want to work with a client I can see that issues like it is right there, it’s right, you can see, I can see in their facial expressions, their body language, their tone, the tone of the tone in which they talk the words that they choose to communicate with, all the patterns that they have.

And so, for a good practitioner it’s very obvious what’s going on. And a good practitioner can help you to where you need to go because they’re not you know, they’re not invested in it in the same way that you are. You know, a good practitioner doesn’t have the restrictions that you have as a result of your subconscious not wanting you to have that conscious outcome. Like a practitioner is agreeing with you on that conscious outcome. So, saying you want to have social confidence, your practitioner of course wants to have social confidence from you as well. And so, he can then hold space look at what’s going on and then move you past that those subconscious blocks.

Also, what a good practitioner does is it helps you get to the core of the issue as quickly as possible and you know, deal with it uproot it, clear it and pull it out. You know, pull it out from the roots and all. Good practitioner helps you helps you get healing blocks or subconscious resistance. A good practitioner will help you deal with all the aspects of a problem.

So, you know, you’re dealing with social anxiety and it has a certain amount of aspects that make up this anxiety problem. You know, there’s a certain amount of memories that are contributing to it. There’s a certain amount of beliefs and fears that are contributing to it. There are certain mounds of smaller parts of these memories that that are contributing to it. There’s your life circumstances that are contributing to it. There’s what happened in your early childhood that’s contributing to it. There’s certain etcetera etc. etc. and etc.

So, if you imagine you know, if you imagine you are a problem your social anxiety problem to be like a pizza and you slice that pizza up into different pieces. Each piece of the pizza needs to be dealt with, every slice of pizza needs to be eaten in order for you to be social anxiety free. So, all smaller parts of the problem need to be dealt with and a good practitioner will help you be thorough. You know, just really quick to give you a bit of hope, even if you eat a couple of pieces of the pizza, even if you eat a couple of slices of the pizza your problem will grow smaller and that will result typically in already your anxiety decreasing and you feeling more confidence and being more at ease with yourself.

But the more thorough you are the better your results. And a good practitioner will help you do that. I’ll look at my notes to see if I forgot anything. Yeah, right. A good practitioner will help you get unstuck when you’re stuck yourself. Not much to say about that. There are there are things that you can’t move past yourself. Often people cannot clear a memory for example. They have a traumatic memory they can’t move past it themselves or you know, they simply can’t get rid of any more anxiety or you know, they have a particular person that they feel uncomfortable around no amount of tapping and shifting and changing it, whatever. And finally, a good practitioner will help you find the right issues to work on at the right time.

And so, a good practitioner will help you uncover the… identify the right beliefs that are causing you to feel unsafe socially and then deal with the roots of those beliefs and clear these beliefs and shift them around. So, there you go.

By the way, I think I’ve said a good practitioner a lot, so, there might be comments on underneath that say take a shot every time he says good practitioner. Anyway, we’ll take it.

Alright. Next.

What to look for in a great practitioner

Now, before I get into that I just want to briefly share how I found my coach and my mentor because I saw a comment on a video the other day saying someone saying, “Hey, you’re really lucky that you found your coach, such a great coach and mentor”. And yes, though I don’t think it’s luck so much but here’s what happened.

So, when I first had my initial shift doing the tapping in a workshop, I then decided to work with the workshop leader and this is I don’t know a long time ago 10 years ago, 12 years ago. And I didn’t have so much money at the time and so I could only work with him for a few sessions over time and I then decided to work with someone else and I worked with her for a couple of sessions and then I worked with someone else and then I worked with someone else and then I worked with someone else and I work with someone else.

I worked with the wide variety of people and every time was like, “Oh, this practitioner must be better. This practitioner must be better because my issue should have been resolved by now. Why is it taking so long?” Well, it’s taking so long because it was complex. And the people that I was working were with they didn’t have social anxiety themselves and you know, my hopping from one practitioner to the other wasn’t helping either.

Now I was making progress, you know, my anxiety, my anxiety was reducing, I had less general anxiety, so, I was progressing. But I was you know, I didn’t have much money and be how I was like I need something other than this. I kind of had an idea I need something other than this. This is not really it. And I kind of realized that I can’t you know, I can’t have this big problem that I bring to a practitioner and then run away after a session or after three sessions. I mean I need a good coach.

And around that time, I was also reading this book, was it called “The one-minute millionaire” or something. Book by Jack Reese and Al Trout or Al Trout Jack Reese, I don’t know. But some kind of a success book because I was devouring any success book I could get my hands on for insides and tips and tricks and tactics, any kind of self-help I could get my hands on that might help me with my inner game, right, my inner psychology.

And in that book one of the pieces of advice that they gave was that I should get a mentor or a coach because they said all of the most successful people in the world have a mentor or a coach to support them. And I thought that was very interesting. And also, a couple of years prior to that I listened to his utter audio book “The magic of thinking big”. And I like to think big anyway and that book was awesome. And in there it set yourself a really big lofty goal that is pretty much impossible to reach and achieve and my goal was like, “Great, I’m gonna solve all social anxiety worldwide”.

And interestingly enough that has been my goal ever since. And that’s my big overarching intention and goal to solve social anxiety worldwide. And funnily enough and interestingly enough I’ve been at this for more than a decade and there are signs that that is actually happening, so, that’s very exciting.

However, so, I had this big goal and now I wanted to get a coach and what they suggested in this self-help program was that you make an affirmation. So, I made an information and the information was something along the lines up “I’m now attracting a coach who seemed more and who sees more in me than I see myself, who facilitates me living my fullest potential”. Something along those lines, probably been way too early use the word facilitate. Fancy word.

But yeah, and I started doing an affirmation over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over. And eventually maybe a couple of months after that I did a pro EFT level 3 online with EFT massive in Zucchini and while I was doing that one of the projects we had, we had to do a project and the project was get together with a team set up a website, coach a bunch of people, get some testimonials and you know, and presented to me Lindsay would say. And so, I was we were doing tapping for teens I was gonna help a kid with her social anxiety and worked with the 16-year-old girl, the other people uh we’re gonna work on other issues with the children.

And anyway, the four of us had to get together online and we had to send over each other’s qualifications. And then when I saw my coaches’ qualifications I was like “Wow, that’s impressive”. And I’m you know, cocky little bastard that I was, I wasn’t impressed easily when people’s qualifications to start with so that already was like “Wow, that’s interesting. I want to know more about her”.

And she’s also… At the time she… I think she was 72 or 73. So, those are typically people that you know, already have in life what they want. They’re not after financial gain or anything and she just had a really interesting energy about her. Like very wise and solid and grounded. And eventually she actually reached out to me to say that she would do a session with me for free just because she wanted to help me with something. I was like “Quick. Great, free session. Let’s go.”

And within that session she helped me shift something. She asked some questions she helped me shift my perspective on the whole world. Like my whole world view was different after that session. And that shift felt more profound than you know, any of the other people that I work with. I’m like, “Alright, this must be my coach, right? And so, then I wrote her a long email, “Okay, I don’t have a lot of money, I’m looking for a long-term relationship with a coach because I have a big goal, I want to solve social anxiety and I’m committed to it and I have been for years and bla-bla-bla. And then I feel a special connection with you and what do you think? Is there anything possible?”

And I’ve got a long email back saying that she felt the same connection and then we started working together and we’ve been working together since. So, it’s seven years and counting. And we meet every week and we’ve gone through the ups and downs and there’ll be you know, the interesting ride called life and it’s been an adventure and that’s one of the most beautiful relationships I have in my life. It’s something really cool, it’s something really special.

So, that’s how I found my coach. And how I found my mentor Dr. Dave Lake, that was the most qualified person I know, a couple of years ago I organized a big relief mission in the Philippines. We brought the tapping to the survivors of super typhoon Yolanda, the biggest storm that ever-hit land and we you know, I put a team together and we went to Tacloban, the worst hit city where 8,000 people had died, and we went to different villages and we brought the tapping there. And I invited eight experts to come over.

One of the experts that I invited was Steve Wells a psychologist and I invited… I basically picked my favorite EFT practitioners. Of course, who I thought would form a good team. And one of them was Steve Wells. And when I called Steve Wells he said, “I should bring over my mate David Lake, he’s great with drama and blah blah”. And I’m like “Okay, great.”

And then, so, we were on the ground for three weeks there teaching the tapping and everything. And so, I was bombing with them and then after this whole event they had they gave they give provocative energy therapy workshops which I was introduced to on the ground as well. It’s very fun, they combined provocative therapy with the tapping. It’s an amazing therapy and it’s very effective.

And from there I asked if I could do a couple of sessions with David and he said, “Yes, sure, no problem”. And since then you know I’ve had many sessions and we’re now also working on a weekly basis. So, I see David on Thursday and I see my coach on Friday and it’s not for social anxiety because that’s not the problem anymore, but you know, I’m made out of problems just about and I have a big old big vision so it’s fantastic to have people that are… because David… I think David is 65 or 66. Julius is seventy… However old she is somewhere in her seventies I believe. And having people that have gone through life that have you know, that I look up to that have in their life that I want to have him in my life, it feels like a blessing to get their coaching. Of course, which I paid for it but yeah, it’s great.

So, that’s how I found my coach, my mentor and yeah, I’ll keep working with them pretty much forever. Because it’s nice as far as I see it, as far as I can still grow I’ll keep working with a coach and you know I’m gonna keep growing. However, that’s just my story and I’m not you and you might overcome your social anxiety in a handful of sessions and then you’re done and then you go on with your life and you never have a coach ever again. Fine, no worries, all good.

So, regardless, let’s go into a couple of the things that you should look for in a great practitioner:

He or she is specialized in your particular problem

Now if you want to overcome your social anxiety, you’re not gonna go to a performance expert, right? Yeah. So, you’re gonna find someone who either specializes in a social anxiety… If I’m available and you’ll see that here or at the very least go to someone who has experience in dealing with anxiety. Low self-esteem is a good one as well, but I think one qualification you’re at least looking for is that they have experience in dealing with anxiety, they’re specialized in anxiety. Because a person who specialized in the problem that you have understands what you’re going through, you know, knows the particular patterns that show up, it’s not new to them, they know, you know, they know the problem that you’re dealing with like that back pocket. So, find someone who’s specialized.

He or she is properly trained

Now, you can go online, learn the basics of tapping and call yourself a “Tapping expert”. So, that’s a bit of a problem. So, you want to really interview the person that you’re selecting as your possible coach or mentor or practitioner and ask them a bunch of questions – “Hey, what kind of EFT training have you had? How much of it have you had? What level are you on? Did you have any other trainings? Do you have any formal training? Are you a psychologist or you know, a social worker?” Or you know, you’re trying to get an overall picture of “Hey, did they put into work? Did they have enough training to actually guide you or have they just read some manuals online?”

He or she has enough experience

Now the other side of that is “Hey, even though that person might have had the training, have they actually put into work?” You know, do they have the practical experience or are they just starting out? Typically, you’re not looking for someone who’s just starting out, right? So, you’re… One of the questions you simply ask them is like “Hey, how many hours have you put in? How many coaching sessions have you done roughly? How many different people have you worked with?” And you’re trying to get an overall idea of how much experience they have. And I’d say you’re looking for someone who has worked with at least you know, 50 different people and you know, ideally, at least 500 sessions, 250 to 500 sessions. You know, it takes a while to get a… You know, even though it’s you know, takes a while to get decent at this. I’d say at least 500 sessions

He or she has the therapeutic touch

Alright. And this one is a bit interesting and you’ll have to use your intuition and just your gut feeling when you reach out to someone because there are people that are PhDs psychologists, licensed social workers, licensed clinical social workers. I can speak English. And even though they’re in that profession, they’re not really that good at what they do. It’s unfortunate but that’s the case. And there are coaches or practitioners that have none of that training that are excellent at what they do. They have… They just have a feel for it. They have that therapeutic touch. And then on the other side there are people that are coaches and healers and that kind of stuff, that they had also have no idea what they’re doing. So, you’re looking for someone who ideally has both.

So, yeah, ideal world you have a psychologist, or you know a psychologist or psychotherapist or licensed social worker or someone who was properly qualified who has experience, who has a lot of experience in working with your particular issue, who is specialized in your particular issue and who also has the therapeutic touch. So, that’s what you’re looking for.

4 Steps to Finding a Great Practitioner

Step #1 – Do your research and find someone you feel might be a good match

Now, you can consider working with me if I’m available and you will find the little info box here to state my availability whatever I’m available or not. But you can go to EFTuniverse.com and that’s a place where you have qualified experienced practitioners. You’ll still have to dig around and you know, find out to what level they’re qualified and what experience they have but there are really, really amazing practitioners on that website and I say that’s my best resource that I would recommend.

Now keep in mind that the beauty of the tapping is that you can do it from a distance. It actually… Gary Craig, the founder of EFT, he started out doing telephone sessions and found that he would get just as great results as he would get in personally tapping with people. And so, many of the practitioners also offer Skype sessions. I’ve been 95% of all my sessions online all on skype. I work with people all over the world and it works just as effectively. So, even though you might not find someone in your area, you’ll be able to find a person that you like online.

Step #2 – Sign up for a free intro chat

Now, I think just about anyone will offer a free intro chat and that’s where you can kind of get to know your practitioner, see if you get a good feel with them, see if he or she asks you the right questions, if he or she understands your problem and just mainly if you have a connect with that person. And you know, when someone doesn’t specifically offer free intro chat just send them a quick message and say “Hey, I’d like to see if you can if you can help me and I’d like to get a feel for our connection or you know, do you offer free intro chat?” And likely they’re gonna say, “Yes, I do”.

Now, don’t expect that they’re gonna do some tapping with you in that free intro chat, that’s not how it goes or at least that’s not what I do. What I do is we have a conversation, help you see how where your issues come from, I hope you get cleaner in your goal and you know, where we’re seeing if this is a match. If I can help you, if you think you can be helped by me and that’s what you’re looking for in an intro chat.

Step #3 – See if you click

This is kind of to elaborate on what I was just saying earlier. In that intro chat you’re really looking for “Okay, do I feel a connection with this person? Do I think that this person can actually help me? You know, does it feel that this person is perceptive? That this person genuinely cares about my problem? Does this person understand my problem and is he or she convinced that he can help me? Does that feel genuine?” You know, you want to get a good feeling and if you get a good feeling with that person then that’s a good sign.

Step #4 – Commit to at least three sessions

Now, any practitioner that says they can solve your social anxiety in a single session, I’d be wary of that. If they actually do please reach out to me send me a message I want to learn from that person, okay? But typically, you want to sign up for three sessions. There’s a particular commitment that is put in place.

EFT tapping is very effective, it’s a very powerful technique but yeah, social anxiety is still a long-standing issue. And typically, it’s gonna take more than in a single session. But that level of commitment that you put in is gonna pay itself back. The results that you’re getting are gonna last you a lifetime. You know, so, I think it’s very important you at least can commit for three sessions and that’s three weeks, so, you know, there you go.

Alright. So, then as a final note I kind of wanted to say if you were dealing with social anxiety but you have additional stuff as well, you know, some kind of a mental health issue or medium to severe depression it might not be enough to work with someone over Skype. You might need to you know, to reach out to your mental health care provider and work with an expert, if you have depression find the depression expert face to face.

Okay. One of my friends, girlfriends, who and they’re now married a couple of years ago she was, she was very, very depressed and even though I know these techniques and everything I told her based upon the advice of my mentor that she should see someone face to face, be on medication and get the proper counseling and she did. And she’s been doing that and she’s I think she’s had acupuncture, she had a couple of alternative healing sessions as well, but you basically want to do whatever it takes in order to resolve your issue.

Find the right people for you and you know, then you can really resolve your issue. And if you have… If it’s difficult for you to find a practitioner on your particular issue, find a face-to-face that therapist that also does tapping or some other energy psychology therapy. You can just do the finger tapping before, during and after a session. And you might ask for addition like “Hey, I have this relaxation technique, I’ve been told that it’s gonna help me, are you okay with me doing that during our session?” Most likely they’re gonna say yes.

And my mentor David Lake, he says that just doing this throughout you know, adding this to any kind of therapy will dramatically increase your results. And when I have sessions with David I’m just doing this. We’re just talking and I’m just doing this throughout the whole session. So, you know, I hope that’s helpful.

Alright. Well, that’s the whole how to find a practitioner, what to look for in a practitioner and the four steps to find a great practitioner. Hope that’s helpful and yeah, I look forward to connecting with you again next week. Bye.

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Sebastiaan

Sebastiaan van der Schrier is a Social Confidence Coach and ex social anxiety sufferer. He helps socially anxious people become confident using a unique and painless approach. He is the host of the Social Anxiety Solutions podcast show and runs the first ever online Social Confidence Community.

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