I’ve been there too. I felt self-critical and ashamed of not being able to break through my social anxiety. But changing my thoughts and facing my fears just didn’t work for me…
… I’ve since discovered unique techniques that eliminate social anxiety.
They don’t just treat the social anxiety symptoms; they get at the root of the problem.
They have freed me to be calm and confident in social situations. I now feel comfortable being myself with anyone. And I effortlessly enjoy socialising now – which is tremendously liberating.
In this article, you’ll discover quotes and tips from psychologists, authors, researchers and psychotherapists and other experts. These come straight from my Social Anxiety Solutions podcast.
They will help you learn how to overcome social anxiety in unique and painless ways. Find inspiration to kickstart your journey of overcoming social anxiety once and for all.
BONUS: You’ll have links to the full interviews and experts’ websites. Check ‘m out!
When you’re burned out, worried, down, and think your case is too tough.
“I absolutely believe there is hope for everyone. I’ve seen people turn things around they thought were impossible. Whatever is causing the social anxiety, those things can be worked through. There are gentle and subtle ways to get to these things and clear them. The process does not have to be horrifying or incredibly painful. And you can find yourself amazingly surprised with the shifts that can happen.” -Sophia Cayer
“This is the reason I actually entered the profession (psychotherapy), to be able to get these kind of results…I think in the future people are going to look back to this time and say we were right on the cusp of a whole new way of doing things.” -David Lake
He shares his views on energy psychology in another interview. He also details how to build emotional resilience, create healthy boundaries, and when to seek face to face therapy.
Sarri Gilman is a licensed marriage and family therapist, Executive Director for several non-profits, leadership teacher, author, community leader and creator/founder of the Transform Your Boundaries® workshop.
She reveals here how poor boundaries cause you to have people walk all over you, be stressed, and out of control. And, how creating strong boundaries weakens your anxiety and stress and brings you the inner peace you’re seeking.
“Not giving up on yourself is key. Just because you’ve read 5000 self-help books and just because you’ve tried everything … what works for one person, might not work for another. There is something out there that will work for you.” -Karin Davidson
Karin Davidson is a transformational coach, hypnotherapist, Reiki master, EFT Trainer, and first Matrix Reimprinting Trainer in the USA.
As a ‘tough case expert’, Karin gives us deep insight here into the value of persistence, the mindset to guarantee success, inspiring perspectives, and the key ingredient to becoming socially confident for life.
Ann Ross is an EFT Founding Master, international workshop leader, Trainer of Trainers and has been a keynote speaker at Energy Psychology Conferences.
She experienced burnout and nothing worked until she learned a psycho-spiritual approach called “The Three Principles”, founded by Sydney Banks. She shares how it gave her a new way of looking at human behavior and feeling states here.
“During PSYCH-K process what we experience is a shift where we in a few minutes go from a perception of “I’m not good enough” to one of “I am perfect as I am”.”
“If you start to use the pathway towards calm more and more, then what will happen is the connection to the stress pathway will start to fade. The gap will increase between that pathway and the stress pathway. And, the gap between that pathway and the happiness and calm pathway will get smaller. And so more and more nerve pathways will start to develop into happiness, calm and relaxation.” -Phil Parker
Phil Parker is a Master Trainer of NLP, Psychology expert, Hay House Author, PhD Researcher and Designer of the Lightning Process. He shares here two simple and effective techniques to immediately release stress and systematically and quickly start changing your brain pathways.
When you are stuck in the past and need to forgive, heal, and move forward.
“When our needs were not fulfilled we would become fearful of being with people because they could misattune and betray our needs the same way our parents did. And we might also on the other hand have such a bottomless pit of needs (for unfulfilled needs) that we become a burden…” -David Richo
David Richo is a psychotherapist, teacher, author, workshop leader, and licensed counselor who draws upon Buddhism, poetry, and Jungian perspectives.
He describes here the 5 innate needs we’re born with and how if they weren’t met by our parents, will cause wounds damaging current relationships. Healing these will help you feel socially calm and present.
Mary Llewellyn is a Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapist who uses Energy Therapies and Art Therapy to enable clients to help themselves. She is a “Certified Educator” for the National Council of Hypnotherapists and was awarded “Master Practitioner” status by EFT originator Gary Craig.
She talks here about transferring confidence from one area of your life to another, about not having emotions to tune into, and about the power of forgiveness.
Emma Roberts is an EFT Master and Master Trainer, Hypnotherapist and NLP Master Practitioner. She’s dealt with shame personally and professionally, working with highly sensitive areas such as trauma and sexual abuse.
Here you’ll learn how to overcome your shame and learn a simple technique called “the heart anchor” to easily gather and recall positive emotions at will.
Tania Prince is an NLP Trainer, EFT founding Master and Trainer, TAT Professional Trainer, and Hypnotherapy Trainer and Practitioner.
She specializes in helping clients clear fear and nerves in public speaking. We go into depth on bullying and its effects and steps you can take to overcome it as she did here.
“When you’re not feeling calm for no reason, when you can’t think straight in a situation, and you can’t act sensibly and resourcefully… or when the way you’re behaving, thinking or feeling doesn’t fit what is happening in the here and now, you’re being affected by your past! You’re not born with social anxiety, it is learned.” -Gwyneth Moss
Gwyneth Moss is an EFT Master with NLP, Hypnotherapy and the Human Givens approach to Psychotherapy certificates. She shares here in simple terms how our past affects our day to day experiences and how we can use EFT to no longer be emotionally connected to the past and live in the now.
Rehana Webster, EFT Founding Master, counsellor, an NLP Master, and AAMET Trainer of Trainers. She works with negative emotions which cause people to remain stuck and unable to develop their highest potential.
Rehana shares her “Trauma Buster Technique” here, the results you can get with it, and some amazing stories of transformation through unpairing learned responses.
“Most of my clients I see shifting within 2 weeks of our healing. The way they speak about themselves, the way they think about themselves is totally different from when I first time I met them.” -Para
Para is a full-time practicing pranic healer who runs a pranic healing centre. She shares what it is and her recommendation about the amazing results you can expect from releasing your social anxiety through this energy healing system here.
“A lot of people feel like “oh I really want to release this, why haven’t I released this…”…It’s not in conscious control unless you’ve got a technique, unless you’ve got a way to connect with that (what you want to release). It’s kind of like talking to your computer and saying, “turn on!” and then complaining “why is it not turning on? why is it not working? what’s wrong with me?” But you need a keyboard…You have to have a way in. TAT is a way to get in.” -Tapas Fleming
Tapas Fleming became a Licensed Acupuncturist and developed TAT as a treatment for allergies. She soon realized that it was also clearing the effects of clients’ past stressful and traumatic experiences in an easy, gentle way. I interview her here about this exciting treatment.
“One of the beauties of the emotion code is that we bypass the conscious mind…your subconscious mind remembers everything and that is what we tap into with the emotion code. It might sound weird, but it’s actually really, really simple, and anyone can do it…you start releasing the emotional baggage, the results can be really profound.” -Dr. Bradley Nelson
Dr. Bradley Nelson is a chiropractor and developer of the Emotion code and the Body code. We discuss here how you can use muscle testing to access subconscious mind knowledge to find and release trapped emotions. He shares transformational examples and what can be expected. He walks you through the process to experience it yourself.
When you’re fed up with setting impossible standards and being too hard on yourself.
“Paradoxically, accepting yourself (where you are) is the beginning point of recovery.” “A lot of people are doing exposure therapy, feel the fear and do it anyway…for some people that’s really harrowing, it’s really tough, and what techniques like tapping do is at the very least they take the edge off at the beginning so that it becomes a little bit easier. And over time, it becomes a lot easier.” -Steve Wells
Steve Wells is a psychologist, trainer, co-originator of different Energy Techniques, and is trained to the highest level in provocative therapy.
Carol Look has a distinguished background in traditional psychotherapy, was trained as a Clinical Social Worker and earned her Doctoral Degree in Clinical Hypnotherapy. She then became an EFT Master.
We address here what social perfectionism is, the causes of it, and how to fully overcome social perfectionism.
Jacqui Crooks is an EFT Founding Master with a background in Ericksonian hypnotherapy and NLP. She has developed a simplified use of Energy Psychology to quickly clear deep core beliefs.
We discuss here how to work towards clearing all the resistance on the journey to being socially confident for life and she guides you through a tapping sequence to help release ancestral/inherited patterns leading to self-sabotage.
“What’s no big deal to someone at 40 might be a huge deal to them at the age of 4. Try to assess things that you remember as they would have affected you as at that age. Don’t say “that was no big deal.” -Judy Byrne
Judy Byrne is an EFT Founding Master, therapist, trainer, author, supervisor of therapists, and international presenter on EFT.
She uses eclectic mixture of therapy tools, weaving Neuroscience and Mindfulness. She guides you through a tapping round to soften that inner critic, break down that voice, and start to create an inner cheerleader here.
“If we’re not good enough to love ourselves, how on earth are we even good enough for other people to love us? If we think poorly of ourselves, we’re naturally going to expect others to think poorly of us.” -Brad Yates
Brad Yates is a certified Hypnotherapist and an Emotional Freedom Expert. He’s taught EFT tapping to CEOs, professional athletes and award-winning actors. He is known for his creative and often humorous use of EFT.
He explains how social anxiety is there to serve us, why it can be so challenging to overcome it, how to overcome it, blocks to loving yourself, and exposure therapy here.
Rue Hass is an EFT founding Master, an Intuitive Mentor and Spiritual Life Path Coach, and author of EFT for the highly sensitive temperament. Here we explore the highly sensitive person. Rue believes many labeled “socially anxious” have a deeply spiritual quality she calls “sensitive intelligence”.
She says how to reframe how we see ourselves to reconnect with our true Self. In another interview, we discuss where insecurity comes from, how to release it, and how to reconnect to your core.
Andy Bryce is an EFT Founding Master who improved his self-respect after struggling for years.
He shares here what self-respect is, how to build it from the inside out, and how to create a forward momentum that makes your self-respect rock-solid. We also discuss the value of working through emotions and what to expect when undertaking the journey.
When you are looking for inspiration to fire up your confidence in any social situation.
“When I am in a position where I recognise my own worth…then navigating my day is really easy. I’m no longer trying to appease or try to live up to someone else’s definition of success and I’m just simply trying to be me in this moment. And when I do that I have so much more control. And regardless of what comes I’m able to respond with so much more grace.” -Gene Monterastelli
Gene Monterastelli is an EFT tapping practitioner who helps people overcome limiting beliefs, anxiety, and relationship challenges. He suffered from specific social anxiety: “I was totally fine performing on stage for 7000 people. But when I was engaging with a person 1 on 1…that unpredictability of how they would respond was crippling.”
We discuss his journey from social anxiety to social confidence with tapping here. He explains what to expect and how to persist.
Sue Beer trained in psychodynamic psychotherapy, is a Hypnotherapist, NLP Master Practitioner, EFT Founding Master and AAMET Master Trainer of Trainers.
She shares here how to get started, how to go from despair to hopeful, the difference between “white knuckling change” versus true transformation, and the one thing to focus on to make the big lasting change.
“Conventional psychology says “let’s desensitise you from that fear by forcing you to face it, little steps at a time where you grid your teeth and bite your finger nails, have your heart pounding and your knuckles white, and you’re just miserable doing it… And all the time your subconscious is yelling NO don’t make me do this!! …The simple thing is to just neutralise the subconscious resistance to changing.” -Lindsay Kenny
Lindsay Kenny is an EFT Founding Master, former match maker, Life Coach, and EFT AAMET Trainer of Trainers, and Founder of the National Alliance for Emotional Health and Progressive EFT™.
Lindsay specialises in helping people who are stuck with subconscious resistance and helps them create amazing relationships. Here we discuss the main reason people fail to beat their social anxiety and she guides you through an exercise to overcome it easily and quickly.
“…You do something nice for somebody, their brain releases oxytocin, then that motivates them to want to reciprocate towards you, and then you get that increase in oxytocin in your own brain. It’s that reciprocal release of oxytocin that bonds us to other people.” -Dr. Paul J Zak
Dr. Paul J Zak, known as the ‘King of Trust’, is a professor, scientist, author, TV personality, and public speaker. His lab discovered that oxytocin allows us to determine who to trust. He gave a TED talk on this topic, appeared on CNN, the Dr. Phil show, and Good Morning America.
He shares here all about oxytocin and how to use it to reduce your social anxiety. He shares 10 simple brain hacks to reduce social anxiety and make quick progress.
“The templates you learn in your family growing up are the templates you show in society when you are older. You learn the patterns from your parents and in school and you take these patterns with you into society.” -Willem Lammers
Willem Lammers is a psychologist and a licensed psychotherapist who works on the boundaries of body, mind and spirit. He trained in bioenergetics, TA, hypnotherapy, NLP and energy psychology.
As he explains here, he created a powerful technique, that is quick and easy to learn, called Logosynthesis®.
“We coach around helping people build enough resilience so they can be out in the world with real people, but also have healthy boundaries ….“Many people that have gone through this kind of process (tapping) become much more confident than your average person because you’re building up your resilience.” -Rick Wilkes
Rick Wilkes is an Emotional Freedom Coach who guides people with energy healing and EFT Tapping. He blends body-centered and energetic approaches to activate authentic self-expression, personal power, calm confidence, and a warm sense of self-love.
We discuss here how to overcome the fear of rejection and gently expand your comfort zone listening to your body’s YES’s and NO’s.
“What’s true for you will always make you feel lighter. What’s a lie for you will always make you feel heavier. If you start to look at your choices from a place of “does this make me feel lighter or heavier?”…rather than about “is this good or bad?” or “is this right or wrong?” -Dain Heer
Dain Heer specialises in human behaviour and change, teaching others how to establish deeper connections and achieve true happiness. He’s appeared in numerous media outlets and wrote international best seller Being You, Changing the World.
We discuss here, 4 unique techniques you can apply immediately. He shares insight into our sensitive nature, and we talk about the super powers people with social anxiety have. Learn how to get unstuck, stop judging yourself, and start eliminating your social anxiety.
When you are feeling like you aren’t fitting in and want to make friends.
Mary Ayers, PhD, is a therapist, coach, workshop leader, speaker, author, and was a coach with the Anthony Robbins companies. She uses an evidence-based and solution-focused practice model.
We discuss here the topic of “not feeling that you belong”, where it comes from, and how to get rid of it and she guides you through some EFT tapping to reduce it.
“When I meet someone I really try to be there 100%. I’m very focused in that moment on who I’m dealing with and the time I’m spending with that person. I guess that’s also what people appreciate. Because they feel that you’re actually there at that moment, giving your time, showing an interest in what they have to say. For that moment, I’m really there.” -Christoph Schiessl
I interview my good friend Christoph here on his mindset for meeting new people. He is totally at ease and relaxed when meeting people and has a great time. He has a wide social network with a wide variety of backgrounds and truly loves people.
While Teun Melis is not a healer or therapist, but he is an expert at socialising, making friends, and creating an awesome social life. He embodies “effortless social confidence”. We get into his mindset here to uncover his beliefs, why he’s comfortable with himself, and what he does to make friends and have a great time socially.
He shares how he meets new people, the one simple questions he asks, an easy way he makes friends, how he deals with disapproval, how he creates a new social life from scratch, and a website you can use to make friends easily.
“I now know myself more. And it doesn’t really matter what they think of me as long as I’m true to myself and that I’m speaking my truth. Why would I be worried about what they think if I’m OK with myself?” -Olivia Pino
Olivia Pino is a happy, socially at ease woman who’s got satisfying social lives in various countries in the world. She’s an artist, photographer and teacher and her goal is to inspire children through art and creativity.
We learn her perspective here as to why she’s comfortable socially and she offers a simple and effective way to start a social life from scratch.
“Being sensitive and being vulnerable is really a huge part of being able to connect with people. The more vulnerable and sensitive you allow yourself to be the more connected you feel with people.” -Tom Woodfin
Tom Woodfin is an ex-professional MMA fighter who practices a combination of Energy Psychology and intuitive physical therapy to facilitate deep acceptance. Tom grew up in a place where sensitivity was seen as weak.
We talk here about the necessity of getting to a place where it is safe to be vulnerable. In another interview, we discuss the influence of social status and how to be authentically YOU while experiencing different cultures.
Ulrike is a psychotherapist who uses her expertise as a psychotherapist along with energy psychology practices, such as EFT, TAT, Logosynthesis, PET, REMAP, hypnosis, parts work, and trauma work.
Here she shares the difference between introverts and extroverts. She shares the power of introverts and how they can become socially confident. She also offers concepts to feel more secure in being yourself and Energy Psychology techniques benefits.
“Find out what you have is great, because every human being has something of greatness, find out what you have to offer people, concentrate on that, and go and surround yourself by people who are inspired by that.” -Dr. John Demartini
Dr. Demartini is one of the world’s leading authorities on human behaviour, personal development, and empowerment. He has written 40 self-development books, including Amazon best-seller, The Values Factor. You may have seen him in documentaries, such as “The Secret”, The Opus, and The Compass.
He explains here how to use this great law to create a satisfying social life that works for YOU. He shares a ton of wisdom to understand and overcome your social anxiety, stop comparing yourself to others, and increase your self-esteem.
When you want to find love and nothing you do seems to work.
“Whatever you think is too much of a stretch for you can become part of your comfort zone. If you make a decision to evolve yourself incrementally you will get there. Make a commitment and use the tools available to you and use the actions to follow up.” -Neo
Neo is certified as a hypnotherapist and a Master Practitioner, NLP Trainer, and author. He coaches people on attraction, intimacy, and sensuality. He was a virgin until he was 23 years old and forced himself to talk to 70 women a week.
He talks here about incrementally taking action to build your inner strength and the stages to make dating an amazing and exciting experience.
”Many studies have pointed to the dopamine system being important in socializing…the system that is motivating you to go out and seek rewards. The primary rewards for all social animals are of course food and water, but also sex and of course socialising. Maybe addiction-related brain changes are reversed when people give up porn and then they seek out normal rewards such as socialising.”-Gary Wilson
Gary Wilson is an author and researcher on Pornography and addiction to it. Learn the science behind how internet porn addiction could be the CAUSE of your social anxiety here. Gary shares how hundreds of guys who stopped porn reported their social anxiety released. And how non-anxious people’s desire to socialise increased, their confidence increased, and they became more social.
Alina Frank is an EFT and Matrix Re-imprinting trainer and mentor, an EFT Masters’ forum contributor, and a Master Life Coach providing relationship coaching.
Alina goes over how to resolve the fears and beliefs keeping people from romantic relationship here. We also talk about how anxiety can damage sexual passion. She says: “Don’t think that this is a problem of will-power. There are things happening in your body and mind that you can get some relief for. It might not be overnight but don’t give up.”
“I didn’t want to wake up at the end of my life and go “where did my life go?”. I wanted to start living it now. And the only way to do that is to start accepting yourself where you are right now, with your anxiety, with your awkwardness.” -Cathy Vartuli
Cathy Vartuli is a sex-positive Emotional Freedom Coach who helps people transform traumas into their greatest strengths using love, laughter and inner guidance. She uses a practical yet intuitive approach to help people connect with their own power and guidance.
She shares here how she didn’t date for 13 years from fear of rejection, but just two weeks after a treatment she was dating and has been on hundreds since.
“I realised a client can achieve real deep change more easily than with other classical therapy. With energy psychology, you don’t have to go so deep into the sensations, the emotion. You need to be connected, but it’s not so hard. Energy psychology for me was the best solution. It changed my life.” -Yves Wauthier
Yves Wauthier is a psychotherapist, Logosynthesis, EFT, REMAP and TAT trainer, author, supervisor of therapists, and sexologist specialising in brief therapy, complex trauma and attachment disorders.
He shares practical tips to overcome sexual dysfunction and how to become comfortable with sex and your sexuality here. He offers powerful energy therapy techniques, a breathing exercise to decrease anxiety, and a trick to quiet your thoughts.
Tripp is a dating coach and the host of the popular podcast show “how to talk to girls”. He’s on a mission to help men become powerful, confident, and able to date anyone while being true to themselves.
He shares here how to approach women, how he got over his approach anxiety. Empowered mindsets for meeting and dating women and the importance of developing into a man who has options.
Stefan Gonick and here is an internationally recognised Soulmate Attraction Mentor and expert EFT Practitioner and Master Trainer. He helps clients with deep emotional healing and relationship issues.
He tells us in a part 1 and part 2, common beliefs and fears preventing us from being ourselves. He explains the psychology behind why we’re powerfully attracted to the wrong people and may end up settling, and how to resolve these blocks to attract and be with the partner of our dreams.
What has worked for you that could help others? What absolutely did not work for you? Leave your answer in the comments below.